


Beautifully Unfinished

by m_fence



Series: Beautifully Unfinished [1]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mob, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Cheating, F/M, Heartbreak, Hurt, Jonsa end game, Secrets, imperfect characters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:14:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 70,674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23867359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/m_fence/pseuds/m_fence
Summary: You can do this. You can do this.Repeated like a mantra the whole flight home. No, she’s been repeating it for the last month, since she agreed to go home.  Its only eleven days, eleven days & you’ll be home, safe and with them. You can forget. Again
Relationships: Arya Stark/Gendry Waters, Harrold Hardyng/Sansa Stark, Jon Snow/Sansa Stark, Robb Stark/Margaery Tyrell
Series: Beautifully Unfinished [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1786024
Comments: 368
Kudos: 330





	1. Home

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! So be kind, this is my first fanfiction that I’ve posted! A wanted to note a couple things.  
> 1\. I wont be getting too deep into the family business. It’s a mob family, it will affect the story, but that’s about it  
> 2\. Italics represent past conversations and internal conversations.  
> 3\. Arya is older in this fic, it just worked better for the plot!  
> I look forward to you guys reading and giving me your thoughts! If it’s a little confusing that is good! All will be revealed, secrets always have a way of coming out!

_You can do this. You can do this. _Repeated like a mantra the whole flight home. No, she’s been repeating it for the last month, since she agreed to go home.__

_Its only eleven days, eleven days and you’ll be home, safe and with them. You can forget. Again. ___

It’s been 6 years since she’s been home to Winterfell, its been 6 years since she’s been home to Westeros at all. It was easier, not to come back. Dad made sure she never had to come back. Ever. But it’s Robb’s wedding and when he called last month, ugh how could she say no? Sansa sighed as she looked at her reflection in the rear-view mirror. _You can do this. You can do this. ___

\--- One Month Ago ---

_“Hello?” Sansa finally answered the phone after the ninth call in 3 days. She would message after each call of course, apologize for missing the ring with any number of excuses- a work meeting, she was driving, at the gym but she couldn’t ignore him anymore._

_“She lives” Robb greets her with a rueful chuckle. He’s never tried to make her feel bad, in the six years since she’s seen him. Even though she knows he’s hurt because he doesn’t understand why, he doesn’t get it and how could he? She’s never wanted them to. “so, listen... we got your RSVP. What do you mean you’re not coming? Sansa, its been years. She was your best friend, I’m your brother, its our wedding. Sans, I need you here. I need you home for this” Sansa can hear the pain in his voice, the hurt, the slight twinge of anger, mostly just the confusion._

_“Robb, I can’t. I have a work thing that I can’t get out of” lies. “It’s been a long time; I know and I’m sorry. Harry and I would have loved to have come, but – “ ___

__

_“No. Stop, Sansa” He sighs, she can see him sitting on the edge of his bed, probably running a hand down his face or through his hair. “You have to come. Sansa, please. It’s... it’s important to all of us. I know you have this whole life in Essos, with Harry but please come and bring him. Dad says he’s great, we all want to meet him Sansa. Please, it’s only a few days. I need you here for one week. For me.” ___

_“Okay Robb, okay. I’ll be there. I’ll make it work. For you.” ___

__

__\---_ _

__

__Sansa is almost back to Winterfell when she pulls over, she just needs a minute. Of course, once Mom found out she was coming home she insisted Sansa had to be there for the showers and the party the weekend before, so three days quickly turned into more than a week. Harry would join her 5 days before the wedding, he agreed of course to everything she needed from him this weekend. They just had to get through the 5 days together. She thinks back to her conversation with Harry last night._ _

_"Baby” he said as she was frantically packing. “It’ll be fine, I get it okay, I know your nervous, I know you didn’t want to go. But we will be fine here, and then I’ll join you, we’ll make it through, and we’ll come home” ___

__

_He always knew what to say, she walked over to where he was sitting on the bed and sat with one leg on either side of his thighs. She kissed him. “I love you; you know. I really do love you, but there is so much that you don’t know”_

_“Sansa, stop. I knew from the beginning that you had kept some of your past to yourself. I told you then, and I am telling you now, tell me when your ready. Is this about what your family does? What they are?” He looks at her now, he’s trying not to push her, but he needs to know she’s okay._

_How I wish I could tell you everything, she thinks as she looks into his perfect blue eyes. She loves him, she does but its not the same. She doesn’t think she’ll love anyone the way she loved... the way she loved him. Thinking about him hurts, looking at her and thinking of him hurts. But she can’t think of him, she can’t hurt, she has people who rely on her now. She made her choice, six years ago._

__

_So, to get past the past, she kisses Harry. He gives in. He always gives in to her, he’s always known when not to push because he loves her. He loves her the way she loves... him. She feels his tongue gently swipe across her bottom lip, she adjusts herself on his lap and he groans. Gently nipping at her bottom lip, his hands moving from her hips to grab her ass. ___

_Buzz. Buzz. Buzz. “Fuck” he groans, as he reaches over to the nightstand to grab his pager. “Babe, it’s the hospital, 911. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what the emergency is, I don’t know if I’ll be home in time to take you to the airport” ___

__

_She smiles at him, perfect Harry. Perfect Harry who loves her, who spends all day saving people and then comes home and saves them. “It’s okay baby, I’ll call you when I land in Westeros, okay?” ___

_“Okay, I love you Sansa. You can do this, whatever you want. However much you want to say or not say, I’ll follow your lead, okay?” Buzz Buzz Buzz. “Fuck, okay I’ve got to run” ___

_A quick kiss and he’s gone. She sighs as she walks to their closet, grabbing a handful of clothes and slowly packs her bags. Fuck. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to do this. Can I do this? For a minute she wonders if she can keep it up. It’s easier when she doesn’t have to see them, it’s easier to evade questions. To lie. ___

At least this trip should buy her years before she had to return, unless one of her other siblings decided to get married. Sansa chuckled to herself, _I don’t see that happening. ___

Sure, Arya was a few years older and happily in a long-term relationship with one of her dad’s associates, but she opposed all things traditional, especially marriage. Bran was away at college and he had more interest in computers and hacking than girls. He was the only other one, besides her, who had escaped that life. Rickon, well he’s a hellion, has been since he was born but he’s new to the family business, and young. He is having more fun playing the field than settling down.

This trip will buy her time.

An hour later and she’s at the gates of Winterfell. _I forgot how big this place is, like a god damn fortress. _She thinks to herself as she rolls down the window and calls the main house.__

“Sansa, oh my baby you’re home, you’re here” She hears her mom on the other side. _Oh great, she’s already crying _. “Come in, come in, come in” The gates immediately open.__

__

__Sansa smiles to herself, it’s easy for her to forget how much she loves them. How much she misses them, until she speaks with them. It’s why she couldn’t say no to Robb when he called. She wonders who all is here, it’s a Wednesday, she’s not sure how many of her dad’s employees will be by for dinner. She wonders how many people are angry with her, for leaving the way she left, people don’t normally just walk away from the family. _Family. _Well, that’s a fucking concept isn’t it.___ _

Sansa smiles to herself when she pulls up to the main house. Mom can barely contain herself. She’s crying already. Robb and Arya are teasing her for it, of course. She misses them. She misses all of them. _It’s better this way, it’s safer this way _. She reminds herself as she steps out of the car.__

“Sansa, oh my baby. I’ve missed you” Catelyn cries, as she pulls Sansa in for a hug. 

“Hi mom, I’ve missed you too” Sansa sighs as she hugs her back. _God I’ve missed you, I needed you, I needed you so much _. She lets go of her mom and goes Ned. “Daddy.”__

The family is close, they’ve all been close, but Sansa and her dad always had a special bond. He knew she wasn’t meant for this life, and he loved her for it. 

“Sweet pea, we’re glad your home, they’ve missed you” He slightly gestures to her siblings still on the porch. Of course, he doesn’t say he has missed her, because he’s the only one whose seen her. Sansa always makes sure he visits when he is in Essos for business. He’s the only one who knows, the only one she’s been honest with. “Let’s get you in the house, I’ll grab your bags. Go say hi” 

Sansa makes her way over to her brothers and sisters, she goes to Rickon first. He’s older, they all are, but you change a lot from 15 to 21. He’s taller and obviously been working out but he also seems more solemn and less rascally. _The family business will do that too you, _she reminds herself.__

“Ric, I’ve missed you. Look at you! When did you grow up?” She hugs him, he hugs her back, he’s never been one to hold grudges. 

“I don’t know sis, maybe sometime in the last 6 years?” Arya says from beside her. Anyone who didn’t know Arya would have bristled, her remake sounding cold and calloused but not Sansa. Sansa always knew when Arya was teasing. 

“Arya, gods I’ve missed you.” The sisters hug, she feels like Arya may squeeze the life out of her. 

“Welcome home sister” Arya whispers, and she means it. She has missed her, Sansa has missed her too. 

Finally, Sansa gets to Robb. He’s just staring at her before he pulls her in. 

“God, Sansa you’re home.” He whispers into her ear, “thank you, thank you for coming home” 

That does it, Sansa has held it together until now. She feels the tears starting to gather and she pulls back to look at him. “I’ve missed you too Robb”. 

Catelyn sniffles behind them, and Sansa turns to see her Mom and Dad just taking in the scene. Ned’s arm around Catelyn as she smiles and cries. Some things will never change, a mother’s love being one of them. 

“Alright, let’s get you in and settled, Mom will make you some tea. How does that sound?” Ned states as he starts ushering them inside. “I picked up some of your favourite lemon cakes from the bakery downtown” he smirks at her; everyone knows how Sansa loves lemon cakes. 

“Thank you, Daddy.” Sansa turns to head inside when the hear a car coming up the drive. She looks at Ned, “are we expecting more company?” 

He looks ruefully at her, “I have some business to finish tonight, why don’t you head inside with your mom. Robb, Rickon and I will join you later” 

Sansa sighs, its easy to forget about the family business some days, but the job always comes first. She starts to head inside when a boisterous voice calls out to her. 

“Red! Holy fucking shit, no way. It’s really you eh. Come home for big bros wedding huh?” 

“Tormund, hi.” Sansa waves at the very big man hurling towards her. 

“Fuck that shit, gimme a hug” Tormund picks her up and twirls her around. Sansa laughs, she feels so small when he does this because he’s so big. He puts her down and smiles at her. She’s always been a favourite; they all love her. She thinks its because everyone knows she wasn’t supposed to have this life, so they feel protective of her. 

She looks over to see more guys getting out of the blacked-out SUV. Gendry, Sandor. They are all happy to see her. 

Then she see’s one more emerge from the other side of the truck and suddenly she can’t breathe. Its too late to escape inside, she’s already here. He’s here. And suddenly it feels like everything has stopped because he’s looking at her. He is _fucking _looking at her and she can’t breathe.__

_You can do this. You can do this._

__  
_ _

_Jon ___


	2. Why'd You Do It?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _For the first time, in a very long time Sansa sobs for the boy she knew, the boy she loved, the boy she lost ___

It felt like time was standing still, seconds felt like hours. It was crazy, to be standing here where they had said goodbye 6 years ago. _wasn’t much of a goodbye, _Sansa thought as she met his eyes. “Hi Jon”__

__

__“Hey.”_ _

__

__Ned coughs to break some of the tension, “right, well let’s head over to the clubhouse boys. Ladies, we’ll join you in a bit.” The clubhouse is one of the guest cottages on the property, its only used for business, Catelyn always tried to separate home from _the family _, but it was a wasted effort.___ _

___ _

___Sansa, Catelyn and Arya start to head inside just as Robb says, “Sansa, Marg was really hoping you would go over to our place for brunch tomorrow, to talk. I’ll be doing a job. She doesn’t have your number anymore,” a sad look crosses his face. “Mom has her number though, can you just text her and go over tomorrow?”_ _ _

___ _

_fuck _. Sansa nods and heads inside. The house is exactly how Sansa remembers it, as if steeping back into time...__

_“What do you mean you’re leaving? Leaving where? Going where?” Margaery exclaims, as Sansa is lugging a suitcase out the door._

__

_“Just.. just” Sansa sighs, and stops to look at her best friend. “Just don’t do anything okay, don’t tell Robb. Just let me leave and then you can do whatever you need to do”_

_Margaery looks right at her and says “and what about Jon, Sansa? You’re just going to leave him like this?_

_“I have to.”_

“Sansa, earth to Sansa, hello!” Arya is waving a hand in front of Sansa’s face, a concerned look on face. 

Sansa laughs and shakes her head “sorry, just tired, I guess. Where are my lemon cakes?” Sansa spends the next couple hours chatting with her mom and sister. They talk about Sansa’s job at Seaworth Corp, how she got her degree in finance 2 years ago, the ask about Harry. _When did it become so easy for me to lie? _Sansa thinks to herself. She appreciated that they are trying in asking about Harry, she’s sure dad has vouched for him, but she’s kept that part of her life locked away from anyone else.__

Sansa heads up to bed a few hours later, to her old room. It looks just the same, she can tell mom’s been keeping up with the cleaning, but really nothing has changed. It’s like a shrine to the old her, her old life, someone she doesn’t even know anymore. Sansa groans as she finally has a chance to lay down, takes out her phone and calls Harry. 

_“Hello?” ___

“Babe, hi. How are you?” 

_“Sansa, I miss you. I’m still at the hospital, I haven’t been home yet but don’t worry I checked in, everything is fine” ___

“Good, good. I miss you too babe, its surreal being back here. I’m so tired 

Sansa and Harry talked for a few minutes longer before he got called away, which Sansa was thankful for because she was truly so damn tired. _I’ve been home for hours and it feels like weeks _, Sansa wonders how she would possibly make it through the next 11 days.__

_You can do this. You can do this. ___

The next morning Sansa texted Margaery about brunch, she asked Sansa to meet at her place around 1030. 

_knock knock ___

__A few hours later and Sansa was at Robb and Margaery’s new house. She didn’t realize they had moved out of the condo. Their house isn’t too far from Winterfell, a little house on a nice piece of land. Sansa giggled when she saw the patio rug, **Please hide packages from husband** , that’s so Margaery. _ _

Margaery swings open the door and smiles, “Sansa, hi! Thank you so much for coming.” 

“Of course” Sansa smiles back as Margaery ushers her inside. The house is very modern, more modern then she would’ve guessed from the outside, but little details that are so Margaery. Sansa takes in all the family photos on the wall, most taken since she’s left. She reminds herself she has no right to be bitter about that.

Sansa doesn’t think she’s ever seen Margaery at a loss for words before, the girl oozed confidence, but she didn’t seem to know what to say besides “coffee or tea?” 

“Coffee please, with cream” Sansa stares down at the coffee cup placed in front of her. “So..” she starts before she’s cut off 

“Why did you do it” Margaery blurts out, a bite to her words. 

Startled, Sansa draws back a bit and pursed her lips into a tight line. “Well, lets just jump right in huh?” 

Why the fuck was Margaery pissed? Sansa had more of a reason to be angry at her friend and yet she has let it all go and moved on. 

“Well damn it, you just left, Sansa. You didn’t give anyone any time to process or say goodbye. I wouldn’t have even known until after the fact if I hadn’t shown up and we were best friends! And then you just never called or returned our calls, never came back.” Margaery says. Sansa can tell that she’s getting emotional already. 

“I needed to go Marg. I told you that when you showed up. I also asked you not to text Robb until I was gone, I wanted to get away before they got back from that job but what did you do? You texted him the minute I turned my back.” Sansa is getting angrier, _what the actual fuck is happening? _“You guys had been dating for a couple months and your loyalty to him trumped your loyalty to me”__

At least Margaery has the decency to show some remorse for her actions, guilt sweeping over her face. “I’m sorry, it wasn’t about Robb though Sansa” 

“What are you talking about?” 

“Gods, Sansa. He loves you, he is so in love with you. I felt bad that you were just going to leave him and – “

Sansa stood, “don’t, don’t bring Jon into this” She is sure Margaery meant _loved _not _loves _, but still.____

“I didn’t want you to go Sansa, but I knew something was up with you! You were so distant, I thought maybe Jon could snap you out of whatever was going on with you and yeah, I felt bad for him, you were just going to leave! With no goodbyes.” Sansa sees the tears starting to well in her eyes, mirroring Sansa’s. “What the hell happened, why did you go?” 

Sansa knows this cant go any further, it would be too much. She missed Margaery, she was her best friend since they were kids and it would be too hard to dodge questions. Sansa needed to just bury this discussion once and for all. “I’m sorry, I’m not sorry I left, but I am sorry for not telling you before, for not trusting you.” Sansa pulls her in for a hug. “I’ve missed you, I’ve miss you so much” 

“Oh gods, I’ve missed you too. I really wanted you here for all of this.” Margaery sniffles, “thank you for coming home” 

Sansa pulls back and smiles. They spend the next hour awkwardly enjoying each others company, and when Sansa left it was on the promise of coming over in a few days for a drink. Sansa had to admit it was nice to be back with people who knew the old her, it was a different side to her that she had buried for the last 6 years. It was comforting being back, even though all Sansa wanted to do was go home. 

Sansa was still reeling from brunch when she arrived back at Winterfell, Mom had texted her to let her know she would be out for the afternoon, so it appeared Sansa had the place to herself. She decided to make some lunch and head down to the coast. Winterfell was situated far enough back from the water, but the pathway led right to the waterfront. It was Sansa’s favourite spot on the property. 

Sansa was lost in her thoughts as she mindlessly tapped her fingers on her coffee cup, staring out the back door when she was ripped from her musing because of a throat clearing cough behind her… _fuck_

Sure enough, as Sansa turns around, Jon is standing at the edge of the kitchen. She can’t help but notice how good he looks. Older, definitely. Harder around the edges for sure, but 6 years has done him good. 

Jon awkwardly scratches the back of his neck, “uh sorry. Your dad asked me to grab some files from his office on my way over to a job. I, uh, thought you’d still be at Margaery. Figured you two had a lot to talk about.” There is a bit of an edge to the last part, as if he’s reminding her that she hasn’t been around. 

“Uhm yeah, I got home a little while ago” Sansa says, she fiddles with the necklace around her neck. A beautiful and delicate direworlf charm Harry got her last Christmas. _Harry, remember Harry _.__

Jon goes to move towards the office off the kitchen scullery when he stops, back still turned to Sansa. She can see when he releases a deep breath and says “You could have come home you know, to see your family. I would’ve stayed away if that’s what you wanted while you were here.” 

Sansa felt her heart restrict; this was too hard… too painful. “I couldn’t come back Jon” She turns back around to look out the patio doors, willing herself not to cry. 

” Why Not” 

“I just couldn’t Jon, it doesn’t matter why” 

She doesn’t have to see him to know he has moved closer; she can feel him. She can feel his presence closer to hers and it leaves her reeling. _How can he still have this effect on me, its been years _.__

“You’re hiding something” 

Sansa whirls around, eyes wide, “Excuse me? I’m not _hiding _anything.”__

“You are, I know you are” He’s leaning on the island, staring at her, those grey eyes boring into her soul. He almost looks cocky, smug that he thinks he can still read her. It just pisses her off 

“You don’t know me anymore, Jon.” 

He moves closer to her now, standing just a couple steps away and arches and eyebrow to her, “and now Sansa, now you’re lying. You and I both know whether its been 6 hours or 6 minutes I can read you better than anyone, even still.” 

Sansa is fuming at his arrogance, and the fact that he’s not wrong. “If you know me so well, _Jon _.” She spits at him, “How did you not know I was going to leave, how did you not realize I was done, how is it possible that the only reason you even knew before I was half way across the country was because of my shit luck and Margaery stopping by?”__

She knows its cruel, and for a brief minute she sees the hurt flash over his face, but that hurt is quickly replaced by anger. The same anger she had seen that night. The only other time she’s ever seen that look be directed at anyone besides their enemies. She never wanted that look directed at her again 

Jon steps closer, he briefly looks at Sansa’s lips and then back to her eyes. “You're right Sansa, I don’t know you anymore. You don’t belong here anymore; you should go home after the wedding” 

He turns instantly, heading into her dad’s office. Sansa grabs her phone and heads out onto the patio. Breathing heavy, she feels like she’s about to have some sort of panic attack. _You can do this. You can do this._

When she hears a door close and car speed off down the drive, she knows he’s gone. Sansa breaks. Her heart, her head, her soul. _broken _. For the first time, in a very long time, Sansa sobs for the boy she knew, the boy she loved, the boy she lost__


	3. The Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _No, you don’t get to fucking walk away because you didn’t like the question Sansa. How could you do that to me? I needed you._

When Sansa woke up on Friday morning, she was _fucking exhausted _. How had she only been home for a day and a half. Her entire body was tired, it was also goddamn early. Sansa had agreed to help Margaery, Arya and her mom with last minute party things that needed to be done. Her parents were throwing a huge party for Robb & Margaery tonight as a pre wedding celebration, which is much more for the sake of business than anything else, considering the actual wedding is in a week. __

__

__She knew there would be some big players here today and this was the perfect way to really solidify the new bond between Stark’s and Tyrell’s. The wedding would be mostly close friends and family, but this? This party was a statement, two major houses joining ranks. Sansa groaned inwardly, she hated the family business and all that went with it._ _

__

__Sansa made her way to the ensuite, apparently her mom needed help with last minute décor and staging. Which doesn’t even make sense since her she knew Cat had hired a team of people to host this thing. She also must find time to quickly fly into town and pickup her dress, she had ordered it online while she was back home, so she didn’t have to travel with it._ _

__

__The hot water from the shower felt amazing, Sansa felt some of the tension instantly drain from her shoulders, just as she allowed her mind to drift to her last memory she had in this shower._ _

_Sansa had the water scolding hot, trying to wash away all the shitty emotions she was feeling. Silent tears falling down her face as she stood under the rain shower above her, rinsing her lavender conditioner out of hair._

_Suddenly she feels two arms snake around her naked waist. She gasps, so lost in her own thoughts she hadn’t even heard him come in. ___

_“Hey baby”_

_God, that voice. Jon is many things, a man of many great attributes and talents, but god his voice! She quickly wipes her face, easily disguising her tears as water. “Hi” she responds softly. “I was just about to jump out”_

_His hands move from her waist to her shoulders, gently massaging, she can’t help but lean into him a little bit. He is so close behind her that she feels him rock hard against her ass. “Shit Sansa, you’re so tense” he leans down and nips at her neck. “How about we stay in a bit longer, I’ll relax you” he purrs._

_Sansa inhales sharply as his arms slip back around her waist and slowly started dipping lower. She moans as Jon slides a finger through her slit._

_“mmm, always so wet for me. Hmm, Sansa? You’re always so ready for me” Jon continues placing featherlight kisses on her neck and shoulders and his fingers massage her folds in a desperately slow pace._

_“Jon, were in the water, everywhere is wet” Sansa giggles, suddenly feeling shy_

_Jon chuckles behind her before grasping her jaw to turn her head, looking her straight in the eye. “No Sansa, I can feel you. You’re wet for me; I feel the heat coming off your cunt.” Then he is devouring her mouth, tongue demanding entrance, fingers demanding entrance..._

Sansa gasps, suddenly realizing where she had allowed her mind to go. No, that can simply not happen. Thoughts of Jon, super hot memories of Jon. That ends now. Sansa angrily finishes her shower, quickly before she allows her mind to go any further. _You idiot, what the fuck are you thinking. Today is off to a great fucking start._

She quickly finishes getting ready and heads downstairs, Margaery and Catelyn already sitting at the kitchen island. 

“Good morning sleepyhead, it’s already past 6.” Her mom jokingly chides, everyone knows how much Sansa used to hate mornings, a fact that has not changed although she’s gotten better at functioning before 7. 

“Sorry mom, is there coffee?” Sansa asks, before she even finishes the question Catelyn is getting up to get her a mug. 

“Of course, sweetie. Before I forget, when does Harry arrive next week? I should arrange a car to pick him up”

“Don’t worry about it mom, I will go get him from the airport” Catelyn’s face instantly tightens, she looks concerned. After an awkward silence Sansa asks, “uhm, is that a problem?” 

“Well no, not a problem per say, but I would rather you take someone with you.” Sansa sighs. 

“Why mom? What is going on”

“Well…” Catelyn begins to answer Sansa’s question when suddenly Arya & Rickon come barreling through the panoramic patio doors. 

“You may be bigger Ricky, but you’re still fucking slower” Arya laughs as she pushes Rickon in the shoulder. Rickon gets her in a head lock and gives her a noogie

“You’re a fucking shrimp, you get like no wind resistance Arya” Rickon laughs, as Arya tries to wiggle out of her grasp. 

“Hey, language you two. You may be adults, but you still won’t speak like heathens in this house” Catelyn scolds. 

“Sorry mom” they say in unison, with the same amount of sarcasm and accompanying eye rolls. 

Arya and Gendry live in one of the guest cottages on the property while their house is being built, Rickon still lives in the main house, Man child. Sansa laughs inwardly. 

“Holy shit Sans, you’re up before 9am” Arya says as she catches her mothers’ eye at the swear. “Sorry” she mumbles

“Yes, well gone are the days of sleeping in Arya” Sansa laughs

“Why, Mr. Doctor doesn’t let you sleep in?” Arya asks with the raise of an eyebrow. 

_Shit._ “Uhm, nope. He’s an early riser and I’m a light sleeper” 

“Since when?”

_Double shit._

“Arya stop pestering your sister and go shower. We have lots to do today and you have a hair appointment in an hour.” Catelyn comes up behind Arya, physically shoeing her from the room. 

Margaery laughs while taking a sip of her coffee, “She is just as wild as ever” Shaking her head in appreciation for Arya just being Arya. 

“Clearly some things don’t change” Sansa laughs.

“Hey! I have a nail and hair appointment downtown today at 2. Want to come with? I’m sure the salon would have no problem fitting you in” Margaery is beaming at Sansa

Sansa looks down at her nails, they aren’t terrible but she definitely could use a fill. She smiles at Margaery; it could be fun to have a little girl time. “Sure, let’s do it. I have to pick up my dress in town anyways” 

“oh, oh, details. What lovely gown is the beautiful Sansa Stark wearing this evening” Margaery asks, generally interested. 

“Well its this really deep navy with a velvet bod-”

“Oh god, girl talk already? Its 630 in the morning” She hears Robb groan as he walks into the kitchen, although she can hear the playful edge to his tone. She turns to see Robb walking in, Jon and Theon on his heels. He walks up behind Margaery at the island. “Hi Beautiful, you were gone early this morning” As he leans down to give her a quick peck on the lips. 

“Yes, handsome. Some of us have things to do today” Margaery scolds, matching Robb’s tone. 

Robb laughs and leans down for another kiss, “Hey now, we’re helping aren’t we boys?”

Oh yes, we’re at your service” Theon says with a mock salute as he makes his way over to Sansa. “Little Stark! Welcome home” He pulls Sansa in for a hug, she hugs him back and chances a glance at Jon who is staring directly at her, and unreadable expression on his face. 

“Hi Theon, its good to see you” 

Theon hums in appreciation and whispers in her ear, “Go easy on him Sansa”. Sansa pulls back and looks at him, giving him a small smile and a nod. Theon has always been more like a brother than a friend and somehow he always knew what she was thinking. Theon was there the night she left and amidst all the commotion he didn’t say anything, he just looked at her and hugged her like he understood. Sansa had never been sure if he knew. _God, did he know?_

Jon hastily moved his eyes from Sansa and made his way around the island to the coffee maker. “Is it okay if I have a coffee, Cat?” 

“Oh, my dear boy, are you ever going to stop asking me. Of course, you can have a coffee” Catelyn comes over with a mug, placing a hand on his cheek. He smiles down at her.

“Probably not” he laughs softly. Sansa always loved the relationship between Jon and her mom. The entire family viewed Jon as part of the family, and not the _family_ but the actual Stark clan, but Jon never let up on his manners. Even though Catelyn told him he was family, she loved it. He was the only one who never swore around her, even though Sansa knew he had quite the dirty mouth. Sansa trembled at the thought. _Stop it, you idiot!_

“Actually boys, I do have a job for you. Can you help me move some furniture into the pool house?” the men all nod and begin to follow her out of the kitchen. “The decorators would do it, but I just don’t trust them not to scuff any pieces”. 

Sansa’s eyes follow the group. Jon’s ass certainly got better with age too, she thought. Jon has always been incredibly fit, but he was more muscular now, less slim fit and more buff. His butt in jeans was a testament to that. As were his biceps when he lifted his end of the couch. _Yum._

Sansa hears a cough and looks over to find a very skeptical looking Margaery staring at her. Sansa clears her throat and laughs nervously. “So, appointment at 2 you said” 

Margaery raises an eyebrow, “mhm, 2 o’clock.” She smiles at Sansa, then gets up to find Catelyn. Leaving Sansa, her coffee, and her very confused brain in the kitchen alone. Sansa sighs and takes a sip of her coffee. _Today is going to be a long day._

\--- 

Six hours later, Margaery and Sansa are thoroughly enjoying their manicures at the salon in town. All awkwardness and unexplained emotions from the other day gone and forgotten. They have fallen back into old habits; which Sansa couldn’t be happier about. Outside of her family and Jon, Margaery is the one Sansa missed most. 

Sansa glances at Margaery and nervously bites her lip. She doesn’t want to, but she just can’t help it, “So, is Jon seeing anyone”

Margaery nearly spits out her Starbucks has she quickly turns to Sansa, moving the hand the manicurist is working on. “Sorry,” she says as she puts her hand back. “Sansa, what are you doing?”

“What, no, not like that. I just wanted to know if he was bringing anyone to the party tonight.” Sansa sighs, she knows she has no right to ask this. 

“Why do you care, Sansa?”

She chances a glance at Margaery, who is looking right at her. “I… I don’t. Not really. But come on, no one likes seeing their ex with someone else without expecting it.” 

Margaery looks down, closes her eyes and shakes her head. Sansa knows that if her hands were free, she would be pinching the bridge of her nose too. Sansa instant feels sheepish, Margaery sighs before answering, “Sansa, I love you, but you broke his heart. You don’t get to have an opinion on whether he is bringing a girl or not.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry I shouldn’t have brought it up.” Sansa looks back at her nails, trying to erase this conversation from her brain. 

After a minute of awkward silence Margaery sighs, “He is single Sans, he’s not bringing anyone to the party.” 

Sansa’s eyes snap to hers, there is a comforting look in Margaery’s eyes. A softness that wasn’t there a moment ago. Margaery continues, “he _has_ dated Sansa, of course he has. He’s Jon, he’s a catch. But they’ve never really stuck. Val stuck around for a while, I think they were together for almost a year but as far as I know, Jon ended things” 

“Why?” Sansa asks, genuinely curious, but also slightly jealous that Jon was with someone for a year. Who are you to be jealous? You’ve been with Harry for 4 years, you hypocrite. Sansa scolds herself “I mean officially I don’t know; Robb says he never said why and if Robb does know he hasn’t told me.” Margaery looks back to her nails, and then at Sansa again. “I think we all know why though, Sansa.” Margaery gives Sansa a sad smile, and Sansa turns her eyes downward. 

ansa feels bad that Jon was hurt so badly, yet somewhere she can feel a tiny sting of happiness that Jon still cares. Which is fucking awful, she knows. Jon should be able to move on, she had, and there was no hope she was coming back. She didn’t want Jon to pine for her forever, right?

\---

A few hours later, and admittedly a few glasses of wine, the party was in full swing. It was a full house tonight, but the party was beautiful. She had to give her mom credit; Catelyn Stark always knew how to throw a good party. 

Sansa casually watched as she sipped her chardonnay. There are so many people here today, people she never expected to see at Winterfell, the Lannister’s in particular. Cersei, Jamie, Joffrey… _the gangs all here_ , Sansa shudders. She hates these people. What they do, what they represent. She has been dodging questions about where she’s been all night. These people may be acting in good faith being here, but even Sansa knew better then to give them too much information. 

Margaery and Robb were graciously attending to their guests, but Sansa didn’t miss their tender touches and stolen glances. They really did love each other, and they were so good for each other. Arya and Gendry were joking with Rickon and Shireen, Theon was attempting to hit on Jeyne and Jon was laughing with Loras, Margaery’s brother. 

Sansa couldn’t help but feel a twinge of sadness as she looked around at everyone enjoying themselves, a big reminder that life went on without her and that she had missed so many important moments and memories with these people. As she looks at the doorways and perimeter of the rooms and notices the guards. _More so than usual_ , she thinks. In the moments it is easy to forget the danger this life leads to, but this is part of why she left. It wasn’t safe, no matter how many guards or guns, it would never be safe. 

A cough from behind startles her out of musings. Sansa turns to see Sandor standing there, smirking down at her. “Little Bird,” he tips his glass to her and chuckles as he pulls her in for a hug. 

“It’s really nice to see you again” she says as she pulls away.

He laughs and shakes his head, “Thanks, except you’re fucking miserable being back” 

Sansa smiles, “I am not” He raises his eyebrow at her. “I’m not, it’s just different now” 

Sandor hums and he surveys the room, taking a sip of his drink. “It is, in some ways, very different. I heard you got your degree since I’ve last been down to Essos, congratulations.” 

Sansa beams up at him, “I did, finally. Harry was a huge help as you know.” 

“Ah yes, how is Mr. Perfect”

Sansa playfully slaps Sandor’s arm, “Don’t call him that, you know he isn’t perfect”

“Damn close enough to God than any of us, Little Bird” He pauses, and gives her a thoughtful look. “That’s what you wanted though, is it everything you wanted it to be”

Sansa takes a sip of her wine and glances around at the family she’s pushed aside, she notices Jon standing by the bay window looking out as he sips his whiskey, “Almost” 

She turns back to Sandor, he nods through his understanding. He places a soft kiss of the top of her head and whispers, “For what its worth, I think you made the right choice. I don’t think I’ve told you that before” 

Sansa smiles sadly up at Sandor, this man. This big, scary man. He’s always been there for her and has come through for her more in the last 6 years than she couldn’t imagined. “Thank you, Sandor”

With a quick nod, Sandor leaves. Sansa feels a heavy weight on her shoulders, suddenly the last 6 years come rushing back. All of these people, in this house. _It’s just too much._

Sansa turns her attention back to the party, You can do this. Margaery catches her attention and waves, calling her over with a quick wave. 

“Grandmother, you remember Sansa right?” She asks to Olenna, who of course remembers Sansa. 

“Oh Margaery of course I do. Sansa, it’s very good to see you home.” Sansa grimaces slightly but gets pulled in for a hug before anyone can notice. “So, tell me darling, why did you leave.” 

“Grandmother!” Margaery hisses.

“Oh stop, I’m just asking a question. A valid one at that. She just up and leaves without any warning at all, it’s very strange and to leave that handsome man like that” Olenna is eyeing Sansa like a predator eyes it’s prey. Sansa suddenly feels very small.

“Still grandmother, it’s a party let’s not rehash old wounds tonight shall we” Margaery sends an apologetic sideways glance to Sansa.

Sansa turns her attention from the two of them, as they bicker back and forth, when she catches Jon’s eyes from a few feet away. He is standing up against the large stone fireplace and Sansa can guarantee he heard most, if not all, of Olenna’s interrogation. His eyes are dark, and his face is tight, as if he is challenging her to give a reasonable explanation for leaving like she did. 

Sansa politely excuses herself and quickly makes her through the kitchen to the backyard. She feels her chest tightening and she knows she needs to get out of here, she can’t deal with anymore tonight. 

\---

Ten minutes later and Sansa can breathe, having made her way down to the shore. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she sits in the sand. Fuck the dress, fuck the shoes, fuck this. Coming home has been way harder emotionally than Sansa was ready for, at least so quickly. 

She hears a shuffle of pebbles behind her but she doesn’t jump or even turn her head. She knows who it is, just like in the kitchen before she can feel him.

Jon sits down on the sandy shores beside her, bending his legs at the knee and wiping his hands together to remove the sand. He doesn’t look at her, just looks straight out to the shoreline. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay” he says softly

Sansa laughs, an almost empty laugh. “Yes Jon, I am fine.” Sansa has turned to look at him, he’s taken his jacket off and rolled up the sleeves on his white shirt, loosened his tie. The wind off the water has tousled his hair a bit, he looks young tonight. Like the Jon she used to know.

He turns to look at her then, his eyes much softer than she’s seen them recently. “You’re not Sansa, but I can’t seem to figure out why.” 

She doesn’t say anything, what is there to say really? So she turns her head back to the water and rests her chin on her knees. Even now, she can be comfortable in silence with him. 

“Is he good to you?” he asks it so softly she almost misses it. She closes he eyes, willing the tears not to fall. 

“He is”

“Do you love him?”

A single tear falls and lands on her hand, “I do” She chances a glance at Jon, who’s also looking at the water. She sees his Jaw tick. 

“Then why aren’t you okay?” 

Sansa narrows her eyes as him when he turns to look at her, “You don’t kn-“

“Yes, I don’t know you anymore, so you’ve fucking said Sansa. Except I do, whether you care to admit it or not, I do. So, what the fuck is going on with you” He’s angry now, she can tell. His jaw is clenched, and his hands have formed fists in the sand. 

Sansa gets up, brushing the sand from her dress as she goes. “Its not your job to worry about me anymore Jon” She spits at him, angry that he’s called her out again. She sighs, “Just go back to the party Jon. I am fine here.”

Jon stands but he doesn’t leave, he’s just staring at her. He opens his mouth as if to say something but quickly closes it and runs his fingers though his hair. There is a look he is giving her, a look she doesn’t quite recognize and its unsettling because she used to know him as well as he still knows her.

Sansa doesn’t know if it’s the anger, the countless glasses of champagne but she asks the question anyways, “What Jon, what do you want to say? What do you want to ask? Spit it out or leave” 

Jon looks up from the ground, clearly her remark struck a nerve because this look, she recognizes, its anger. 

“How could you fucking do it Sansa. How could you fucking leave like that and then never come home? Then when you do come home you act like this?” He steps forward now, his hands in the air gesturing towards her. “Well, how could you?” he shouts. 

Sansa steps back, she doesn’t know what to say. What is there to say, really?

Jon grabs her arm and pulls her back to him. “No, you don’t get to fucking walk away because you didn’t like the question Sansa. How could you do that to me? _I needed you_ ,” he grounds out. “I needed you to keep my fucking head above water in this fucked up life we live and you fucking left. If Marg hadn’t texted Robb, you would’ve just been gone.”

“I left a note” she says weakly, knowing it doesn’t hold much merit now. 

“Ohh yes, your fucking note. I got your note, I read it. That was a fucking shitty way to say goodbye Sansa. After all we’d been through together, god I was in love with you since I was what, 12? And you leave me a fucking note “I’m sorry, but I don’t want this this?” he shakes he, just a little bit. His eyes glazed over in a combination of hate, love, sadness. “This was your fucking life to begin with, you guys brought me in. Then you fucking use it as an excuse to leave me? That’s fucking weak Sansa.”

Now she’s angry, what she did wasn’t weak. If only he knew why she did it, if only he could understand. He doesn’t, but to call her weak? “Fuck you” she spits as she wrenches her arm from him grasp. 

“Fuck me? Fuck me? Fuck you Sansa. You fucking destroyed me!” he yells as her, stepping in front of her, preventing her from heading back to the house. 

“you destroyed me first!” Sansa yells back at him, tears openly falling. 

Jon stumbles back a step, shocked at her sudden outburst but more shocked by her words, “What?”

“God damnit Jon, you got so far into this life, a life that I hated, that you stopped seeing me! Stopped noticing me! You were becoming so dark, so angry, I didn’t even recognize you half the time! 

“I never stopped noticing you, Sansa. I needed you to pull me back” 

Sansa shakes her head, “You did stop”

“Really, how? Tell me what I missed Sansa. Clearly, I missed something if you up and left, so tell me what I missed” he is stepping into her again, only he’s closer this time. She stares straight a head on is eye level with his neck, she can see his heavy breathing. 

_God how I wish I could tell you, how I wanted to tell you, how I TRIED to tell you._ She swallows away those thoughts, “it doesn’t matter, Jon”

“Like fuck it doesn’t matter Sansa” and suddenly he’s pulling her forward and his lips are on hers. The kiss is hungry and demanding, his tongue thrusting into her mouth demanding more of her. Sansa kisses back, powerless against the passion.

She pushes him back, having come to her sense. “No Jon, stop. I’m with Harry.” She steps back, he steps forward. This violent game of cat and mouse.

“Fuck Harry, you belong to me.”

Sansa scoffs, “I belong to you? Fuck Harry? Gods Jon, when did you become this person? Jon, the man of honour, honour over everything? What happened to you?” 

His features darken as he takes another step towards her, pulling he flush against his chest. He leans down, his voice low and deep. “I don’t know, sweetheart. Why don’t you go back to the day you left six years ago and figure it out?” He roughly releases her arm, causing her to stumble back slightly and then he’s gone, stalking back to the house.

Sansa releases a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding. She knew leaving that day hurt Jon, she didn’t realize how broken he had become. She didn’t realize how much she was responsible for breaking him. _If he only knew, it would make it so much worse._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So thoughts, comments? Is anyone starting to piece together the puzzle?


	4. All we do is talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa reflects on what the _fuck_ happened last night at the engagement party, while dealing with nosy house guests and new decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! 
> 
> There is a lot of dialogue in this chapter, trust me it is all relevant to the story later and needed for a smooth transition to chapter 5. Which I am very excited about, because there is some **serious** Jon Snow action next chapter. Also, I just really enjoy character dialogue :) 
> 
> Also, I made a picset, which I am excited about!  
> Ps. Yes Harry is Chris Hemsworth in my mind, heck, they said he was perfect right?

[ PICSET ](https://meaganfence.tumblr.com/post/617598737706024960/beautifully-unfinished)

The next morning Sansa wakes up with a terrible realization of what happened last night, along with a terrible headache. She groans as she sits up and grabs for the water on her bedside table. Thinking back to last night, the argument with Jon, how close she was to losing control of the situation, the _kiss_. Fuck, what the hell happened, how could she let it. 

Sansa knows she has to tell Harry, or she should tell him at least. Before he shows up here unexpecting, that wouldn’t be fair to him or their relationship but, fuck. How do you even begin to tell someone that you kind of cheated, but not really because you stopped it? Harry knows there was someone back home, a great love, a passionate love, a _volatile_ love, but he doesn’t know who. He doesn’t know that this person is so closely intertwined in every aspect of Sansa’s family’s lives. 

Would it make things worse, if Harry knew that Jon was the man Sansa could never get over? Would it make this more difficult if he knew Jon was around everyday, and would be around every day when Harry arrives? 

_Sansa is sitting on her sofa one night, legs pulled up beside her with a soft blanket draped over her legs, hair in a loose ponytail, staring at the fire coming from the fireplace across the room._

_“Here you go,” she looks up and Harry is standing beside her, tea in hand._

_“oh, thank you. You didn’t have to” Sansa says, taking the tea and patting the spot beside her. She and Harry have been dating for almost 3 months._

_Harry sits leaning back in the couch and turns his head to look at her. He smiles, just a genuine smile because he truly is just a nice guy. Sansa is falling for Harry, he’s sweet, he’s established, he’s handsome and he’s not in the mob. But even years since she’s left, Sansa knows her heart does truly still belong to Jon, she isn’t sure that will every change._

_“Its been two years, right? Since you left home” Harry asks, concerned._

_She has told him bits and pieces of her past, and of Jon. Although she has never told Harry his name and left out the fact that Jon is basically family. She told Harry very early on what her family does, who they are._

_Harry is in his final year of residency and the last thing she wanted was for someone to unknowingly fall in with the daughter of one of the biggest mob families in Westeros. Although Harry doesn’t love it, Sansa assured him she has left that life. He’s accepted it as a part of her past… of course he has, he’s Harry, he’s on the verge on perfection._

_Sansa looks at him and shrugs, “uhm yeah, last week was two years”_

_“Is that why you’ve been so upset?” he turns his body to face her more directly._

_Sansa sets her tea down on the coffee table and does the same, “yeah, this time of year just never seems to get easier, not the being gone part per say, but the anniversary of leaving it all behind.”_

_“Does this have anything to with him?” he doesn’t ask her rudely, there is no venom in his voice. Just concern, and not even concern for himself or their relationship, just concern for her._

_Sansa closes her eyes, “Harry-”_

_Harry grabs her hands and gives them a gentle squeeze, reverting her eyes back to him, “Sansa, you told me about him before we started getting serious. You warned me that you may never fall out of love with him. I chose to move past that and be with you anyways.”_

_Sansa tilts her head to the side, how can someone like this exist? “I know, Harry. It’s still not fair to you though, and it’s not something I really want to discuss with you either.”_

_“Sansa, I know we haven’t been together long, but you told me all this before, you used it as your reason not to date me, “he chuckled. “and I told you, that I would deal with it. Do I love it, no? Is there a part of me hoping that one day it changes, sure, of course there is? But I won’t be bitter if it doesn’t because you are here with me and not there with him._

_He glances to the stairs leading upstairs, “and I know you are never going back to that life or to him.”_

_Sansa sighs and gives him a small smile, she moves the blankets to the side and curls up beside him, “Thank you,” she looks up at him. He touches her cheek and gently pinches her chin, guiding her lips to his for a soft intimate kiss._

_Sansa breaks the kiss and says, “and I’m not, you know. Going back. I can’t” She curls into him, once again staring into the flames. A single tear escapes and rolls down her cheek._

_Harry tightens his grip around her, making her feel safe for the first time in forever and whispers, “I know.”_

Sansa groans, so angry at letting last night end the way it did. _How could you do that._ She knows its already late, and that everyone in the house would be up, except for maybe Rickon. So, she gets out a bed and decides to face the music. 

Making her way downstairs she sees mom in the kitchen, her usual spot at the island reading the morning paper. Arya and Gendry are standing on the far end of the kitchen having a coffee and talking. 

“Morning Sans,” Arya says as Sansa enters the kitchen. “I knew the early riser couldn’t last forever” 

“It’s like 8 in the morning Arya, that’s not exactly late, and it was a late night” Sansa grabs herself a cup and starts pouring some coffee. “Could you grab me the cream?” 

Gendry grabs the creamer from the fridge and hands it to her, “We didn’t see you after a while at the party, everything okay last night?” 

“Uhm yeah, just a bit of jet lag, I just needed some sleep.” Sansa goes over to Catelyn and grabs the extra paper beside her. “Morning, mom.” 

Cat smiles up at her, touching her hand to her cheek. Sansa is instantly reminded of Jon and Cat’s interaction yesterday; she sighs and closes her eyes. 

“Good morning my dear, feeling better?” She has this look in her eyes, a look only a mother can give. Like she knows exactly what happened last night and is making sure Sansa is okay. 

Sansa gives a small smile and shrugs, “I’m okay, thanks” 

“Jon left the party pretty early last night to” Arya coughs, “don’t think we saw him for a while until he came in to say goodbye and left quite suddenly” 

“Arya,” Ned warns as he walks into the kitchen from his office. 

Sansa smiles at him, going over to give him a hug, “Morning Daddy.” 

“Morning sweetheart, would you mind joining me in the study for a bit?” Sansa nods, and begins to follow her father to west wing of the house. As she’s leaving, she hears a slight commotion from the kitchen, though she doesn’t turn back. 

“Ow,” Arya hisses. “what was that for?” 

“Did you have to be so curt, Arya. Really?” Catelyn chides. 

“I wasn’t being rude!” 

Gendry scoffs, “You weren’t exactly being kind either” 

Sansa chuckles to herself and shakes her head. Just as her and Ned are passing through the foyer the front door opens. Sandor, Jon and Theon walking in. 

“Morning boys,” Sandor scoffs at this, “My apologies, morning boys and Sandor” Ned jokingly corrects himself. 

“We, uh, we got some business to deal with Ned” Jon says, a slight edge to his voice and anger showing across his face. Although Sansa doesn’t know if this is because of whatever is going on or because of her, both maybe? 

Sansa looks at Ned and sighs, Ned shakes him head, “You can go start dealing with it in the clubhouse, I’ll join you when Sansa and I are finished” 

Sansa looks up at Ned, “really?” 

“Yes, come on, coffee is getting cold” 

\---

Sansa is sitting on the big leather couch in the study, this used to be one of her favourite rooms in the house. She’s probably the only one whose read most of the books in here. The rest of the house is all very much Catelyn, clean, white, cozy. But the study? That’s all Ned. Dark wood, comfortable yet hideous furniture pieces. Sansa always felt comfortable here. 

Ned is sitting across from her, in a leather wing back chair. He looks so wise. So sure. So strong. 

“How are you doing, Sansa?” 

“I’m fine”, she gives a small sideways smile, eyes downcast at her coffee. “I won’t lie to you and say its been easy, it’s been really hard being back. I’m really missing home.” 

Ned nods, understanding. “Do you want to talk about what happened last night?” 

“What do you mean?” 

He chuckles, “Sansa, Arya wasn’t the only one that noticed you and Jon disappeared, and when Jon came back, he wasn’t himself. So, do you want to talk about it?” 

“There isn’t really much to talk about Dad. I went down to the water, he followed to make sure I was okay. We fought, he kept pushing me on why I left.” _We kissed._ Sansa groans. “It’s hard dad, he is so angry with me and he keeps pushing.” 

“He isn't angry with you Sansa, well not really. He just masks the hurt with anger, he always has – you know that.” 

“Yeah, but that’s never been directed at me. Dad, what happened when I left? I’ve never asked you, but Jon is so different. He is so angry.” 

Ned shrugs, “this life isn’t easy, Sansa. I know your thoughts on what we do, and I respect that, but without someone to keep you half in half out, you fall all the way in.” 

Sansa eyes burn, she feels so guilty. It wasn’t her job to keep Jon half out, at least she didn’t want it to be. She never wanted to be someone’s salvation from evil. 

“So, you’re saying Jon is all the way in now?” 

Ned nods, “depending on how you look at it, I guess. Things have changed since you left, with the business.” 

Sansa’s eye narrow, “I’ve noticed. You want to tell me what’s going on? More guards at the house, mom doesn’t want me going alone to get Harry from the airport.” She pauses, tilts her head to one side. “I noticed scouts on the water last night dad, our scouts. Why are they patrolling the water at 1am?” 

“Well for starters, I agree with your mother. You will not be getting Harry from the airport alone. You can take Sandor or Tormund with you and a driver.” His tone is final, leaving no room for argument. 

Sansa shakes her head and looks away frustrated. “Why, Dad? What the hell is going on?” 

Ned leans forwards, a crease in his brow. She can tell he’s trying to choose his next words carefully. “Things have changed, Sansa. Since you were last here. We have more threats, there are new players in the game, and they are more” he pauses. “They’re more ruthless than most.” 

Sansa groans, “I hate this, Daddy.” 

“I know Sansa, you’re better off where you are. It’s why I helped you leave and why I’ve helped you stay gone.” 

Sansa looks at him, and nods. She knows the sacrifices he made to let her go, the lies he has told. “I’ve missed you Daddy” 

“I’ve missed you too, Lemon Cake” 

\---

Sansa took a minute to collect her thoughts after Ned left the office to meet up with the others, they had talked for a little while longer about home and Sansa’s work. She felt like she was living in a permanent state of stress. Between not being home, Jon, being back in this lifestyle, even if it was only temporarily. 

Sansa rubs her temples, god her head hurt. She would definitely be needing a vacation after this. Suddenly her phones chimed, and Sansa shifts so she can grab it from her jean pocket. 

**Margaery [9:01 am] – Sansa, we’re going out tonight - The Brotherhood. You must come. Just like old times**

Sansa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. The last thing she needed was to relive old times. She could already barely keep control of the situation as is. Now let’s add alcohol and the club her and Jon used to frequent with the group? Nope, nope, definitely not! 

Although, she didn’t technically say Jon was going, maybe if he wasn’t Sansa could use a night out to blow off some steam. _Gods, when was the last time I was even at a club?_

**Sansa [9:05 am] – I don’t know, I’ll think about it. Whose going?**

_Way to not be smooth at all, Sansa._

**Margaery [9:07am] – Come on Sans. You must come! It’ll be so fun, and you leave in a week. Everyone is going.**

_Fuck, nope. Not going. Everyone means Jon._

**Sansa [9:08 am] – Sorry Marg, I’m going to pass.**

**Margaery [9:10 am] – Sansa! Please. I know you aren’t coming because of Jon. I know something happened last night, although I don’t know what. You can avoid him or use tonight to bury the hatchet once and for all. I don’t care. Please come.**

_Ugh. She wasn’t going to let up_

**Sansa [9:13 am] – I’ll think about it.**

Sansa’s phone continued to chime for the next 5 minutes before she finally muted notifications and left the study. She did really want to go; it had been ages since she could just let loose and be young. Not that she missed the party lifestyle, she loved her new life, but it could be fun. 

But last night, her and Jon? It was all too familiar; they could always fight it out. They were both passionate people, even more so with each other. Jon had once joked about how they fought the same way the fucked. He wasn’t wrong. 

Could she really guarantee they wouldn’t get into it in a dark club when drunk? Get into what exactly, she didn’t even know. Another argument? Jon hadn’t hesitated to kiss her before, what would hold him back if he wanted to tonight. 

Sansa groaned, making her way into the family room. She was so lost in her thoughts that she walked right into Robb. 

“Oof” he laughed. “Watch where you’re going, Rocky.” 

Sansa laughed, “I’m so sorry. I was distracted, obviously” 

“I can see that, I was actually coming to look for you, Dad said you might be in the study.” He smiled. 

“Are you guys all always here this often? I feel like you basically live here and only sleep at your own houses” She shakes her head, seriously they are _always_ here. 

“Feels like it some days, not usually this much though. Just a lot going on with the wedding and the job” 

Sansa hummed in agreement. 

“I was actually hoping I could talk to you, want to go out back?” 

Sansa silently groaned but nodded and followed Robb to the backyard. She could not handle another serious discussion. Yes, she is only home for a week and a bit and there were lots of things to be said, but fuck! It’s all she has done since she’s come home. 

Sansa and Robb took a seat on the lounge by the pool. She really did love it here; it was beautiful and serene. The pool and deck were pristine, with a large lot before the treeline and trail that headed to the shore. 

“Margaery called me” 

Sansa’s eyes snapped to Robbs, narrowed slightly. “Of course, she did. Apparently, some things _don’t_ change.” 

Robb raised his hands, as if to placate her mounting anger. He sighs, “Sansa, there was a lot that went wrong and a lot of mistakes that were made that night” 

It’s the first time someone has mentioned the night she left without asking why. Sansa cocks her head to one side, trying to figure out why. 

Sansa sighs, “Robb, I can’t go tonight. If it had anything to do with the wedding I would go, you know that. But I, ugh I just can’t” 

Robb tilts his head and furrows his brows, “because of Jon?” 

“No? yes? I don’t know” she groans as she rubs her hands down her face.

“What happened last night?” 

“I swear to god, if one more person asks me that” 

He barks a laugh, “Dad?” 

“Well, yes. But Arya,” she gives a sideways grin and he laughs. “It doesn’t really matter what happened last night, Robb. It can’t happen again, and I don’t think going out is the best idea.” 

“He’s going to feel like shit if he knows you didn’t go out because of him.” 

“Then don’t tell him” 

Robb shrugs, “he’ll know.” He looks at her, and frowns. “Look I don’t know what happened 6 years ago, I’m hoping that one day you’ll feel comfortable enough to tell me, but Jon broke after you left.” 

He leans forward a bit and places his hand on her knee, giving a gentle squeeze. “I’m not saying this to hurt you more, I can see you’re having a hard time. But Sans, I’ve never seen him like that and it got... it got dark.” 

Sansa feels her eyes starting to tear, “What happened?” She doesn’t really want to ask, because she knows it’ll just hurt, but she needs to know. 

“He just jumped fully into this life, it was the business all the time, he didn’t hesitate to do whatever needed to be done. Once you go down that road, its hard to come back.” He groans, a rubs a hand down his face. 

“After that, he did anything he needed to do to get through the days, whatever vice could make him forget. Drinking, wo-” Robb stops himself, and closed his eyes inwardly cursing himself. 

“Woman?” Sansa asks softly. 

Robb nods, “He came out of it, Sansa. It took a bit, but he came out of it. I think he was hoping that you’d come back, and he knew if you ever did you would’ve hated who he had become.” 

Sansa feels the tears fall thinking back to last night in the shore. _What happened to you? When did you become this person?_ No wonder he had gotten so angry. 

“Look Sansa, just please come tonight? If you want to leave at any point, I’ll take you home myself. Just, come?” 

Sansa gives a little laugh and shakes her head, rubbing her hand over her eyebrow. “You know I can never say no to you Robb” 

They are brought out of their talk by a loud, sharp whistle coming from the laneway. Both their heads snap up to see Tormund making his way from the clubhouse. 

“Hey Stark, you’re needed bro.” Tormund gestures to Robb, pointing towards the club house. 

Robb smiles and stands, stretching his arms above his head, “duty calls.” 

Sansa laughs and pulls her legs under her butt to sit more comfortably. _Fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck._ Will she ever learn to say no to Robb? 

It’ll be fine, she will go and just avoid Jon. She grabs her phone to message Margaery. 

**Sansa [11:07 am] – okay, fine. I’ll go**

Her phone chimes almost immediately. Sansa can’t help but chuckle a little bit. Of course, Margaery knew that Robb was going to find Sansa immediately. Those two, they are annoyingly perfect for each other. The firebolt Margaery and the doting Robb. 

**Margaery [11:07 am] – yayyyy!**

**Margaery [ 11:10am] – we’re all meeting at our place before the cars come to get us. Ygritte, Jeyne and Arya are getting ready here. You should too! The boys are working and will come by afterwards.**

**Margaery [11:11am] – Also, if you say no I am sic’ing Robb on you again.**

**Sansa [11:13] – fine. Ill be there at 7:30.**

**Margaery [11:14 am] – See you at 6. Girls dinner first.**

Sansa falls back into the lounger and graons. _Fuck. My. Life._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? We're getting there!
> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr! meaganfence


	5. Mistakes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa can’t control the sob as tears fall. Gendry puts his arm around her, giving her some comfort. “I’ve fucked everything up, I’ve made so many mistakes. 
> 
> “We all make mistakes, Sansa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple things to mention, to give a little more context to some of the emotions running through this story.  
> 1\. The Stark’s aren’t angry with Sansa because she left Jon and broke his heart. They aren’t really angry with her at all. But! She did leave without really saying goodbye to any of them, it wasn’t just Jon. Ned & Sandor knew, that’s it. If you read Margaery & Sansa’s conversation on Chapter 2, Margaery references that Sansa never called, or called back. She never came back. These are people she loved and that loved her back, and she essentially ghosted them – and no one really knows why. Wanting to leave the life doesn’t really explain not talking to your siblings / friends for 6 years.  
> 2\. Yes, Sansa hated the “mob” life but, she didn’t constantly say how much she wanted to leave or indicated that she ever planned on leaving – because she didn’t, until something prompted her to need to make that choice.  
> 3\. No one brings up Jon and blames Sansa for his behaviour. They are just telling her what’s happened since she’s left (because they haven’t really spoken since), and some of the conversations about Jon were prompted by Sansa. See Margaery’s and Sansa’s in chapter 3 & her conversation with Ned in Chapter 4 ( I’ve never asked you, but what happened). Arya in Chapter 4 wasn’t bringing up Jon to blame her, it was literally just Arya being Arya, she’s curt and she was trying to goad Sansa to find out what happened at the party.  
> I considered rewriting some of my chapters, but I reread them and honestly – I love them. I think the emotions are valid considering how things were left when Sansa left.  
> I’m hoping this provides SOME clarity to the emotions in the story! With that, I really LOVE this chapter, so enjoy!

[ PICSET ](https://meaganfence.tumblr.com/post/617843280973103104/beautifully-unfinished)

A while later, when Sansa is sure he will be up since Essos is a few hours behind, Sansa calls Harry. 

_“Hi babe,” he answers immediately, he echos through her speakers._

“Hi! Are you driving?” She was hoping she had caught him early enough to chat for a bit, but she’s assuming he is driving on his way to the hospital. 

_“Unfortunately yes, there was a pile up on the freeway and I’m on call.”_

Sansa frowns, “I’m sorry. I was hoping you would’ve had time to talk this morning. I’m sorry I’ve been so busy, we haven’t had much time to talk.” 

_“I know, I was planning to call you this morning before I got the call. I have about 10 minutes before I reach the hospital though. Everything okay?”_

“Yeah, everything is great. Well, fine. You know, as good as can be” She grimaces slightly, she wont talk to Harry about what happened last night when it’s going to be a rushed conversation and he has surgeries. That wouldn’t be fair.

_“I’m sure, do you want to talk tonight? It may be quite late on your end. I miss you.”_

Sansa smiles, “Gods, I miss you to. You have no idea. But…” she pauses

Harry chuckles on the other end, “but what, Sansa?” 

“Margaery kind of forced me into going out tonight, just a bunch of friends from back home. A club we used to go to before I left.” She is talking a mile a minute, trying to get it all in before he has to hang up but also because she hates giving Harry half truths. 

She continues, “It’s not for the wedding, so I feel kind of guilty going, I don’t even remember the last time we went out, and-”

_Harry stops her, “Babe, before you spiral any further, I’m not going to be upset about the fact that you’re going out with your friends? Why do you think that would bother me”_

Sansa sighs, “well I don’t know. I didn’t think it would bother you exactly. Just with our life back home, coming here to party seems. I don’t know? Wrong? I guess.”

_“Why? You’re allowed to set off some steam Sansa, it’s not like you’re going to come home some irresponsible party animal.” He laughs, she can almost hear him shaking his head. “Sansa, go have fun with your friends and be a little crazy. Just because of-” she is cut off by a horn blasting_

“Harry, everything okay?” 

_Harry scoffs, “yeah, just some fool driving like an idiot. Listen babe, just enjoy yourself tonight okay? And send me pictures.” She can hear the smirk in his voice, he’s being cheeky._

“Pictures huh? I mean I will, the bar isn’t anything special though. 

_“Cheeky girl. Not of the bar, Sansa. You’ve been gone for way to long.” Sansa can hear the strain in his voice._

Harry really is fantastic in bed, he leaves the nice boy at the door, but remains the gentleman who aims to please. 

“hmmm, if you’re lucky,” she can play dirty too. 

_“Fuck, why did I start this now?” He groans, and she giggles at his agony. “I am pulling into the hospital though, I’m sorry I’ve got to go.”_

“It’s fine babe, love you” 

_“I love you too and, Sansa?”_

“Yeah?” 

_“I wasn’t kidding about those pictures”_

Sansa laughs and hangs up the phone, heading upstairs to get her stuff ready to bring over to Margaery’s and then take a short nap. She needed a clear head to handle tonight, better than she handled yesterday, and she wasn’t used to staying up past 10. 

Sansa looked at the clothes she brought with her, she didn’t really bring anything that screamed night out, she hadn’t exactly planned this. After some searching, she settles on a pair of distressed, ultra skinny jeans, a cami and some heals. Normally she wouldn’t dare to wear just a camisole out, but she can be a little more daring tonight. 

She is going to enjoy herself tonight, she feels better after her talking with Harry and fuck it. She deserves a night to let loose too, she _never_ gets to let loose anymore. As long as she can avoid any isolated interactions with Jon, and keep it casual, she will be fine. 

Satisfied with her choices and having packed her bag, Sansa takes a nap.

\---

A little after 6, Sansa pulls up to Robb & Margaery’s place. She assumes Ygritte and Jeyne are already here because of the additional cars in the drive. 

Margaery answers the door, wine glass in hand, “Gosh, you don’t have to knock. Come in, come in. Dinner is almost done!” 

Sansa grins, setting her bag down in the foyer and pulling out a bag from the liquor store she stopped at, “I brought supplies!” 

Margaery laughs, making her way into the kitchen. Ygritte and Jeyne are sitting at the island. 

An excited squeal and Ygritte is pulling Sansa in for the worlds tightest hug. “Well no shit, I didn’t actually believe you were home. Told Jeyne if I didn’t see it myself, I’d never believe it” Ygritte pulls back and spins Sansa around. “Well damn, look at you! You look fucking great!” 

Not one to normally brag, it was true. Sansa had changed a lot of the past 6 years, she had lost her baby face and she suited being older. 

Sansa laughs, “Well, I’ve missed you too” 

Sansa makes her way of to Jeyne and hugs her. The 4 of them, well, they were always together back in the day.

Ygritte is wild, she is truly uncontrollable. She’s also loyal to a fault, and scary as shit if you’re on her bad side. Jayne is, well Jeyne. Quiet, reserved and beautiful. Theon has been in love with her for _years_ but she’s never thrown him a bone. 

“Soooo! You have a whole dinner to catch us up on what you’ve been up too the last six years!” Ygritte says, genuinely excited to catch up with Sansa. “Actually, let’s skip all the boring crap and tell me about your man! Actually! Start with a picture, and then use your words”

Sansa laughs and takes out her phone, finding a recent, yet yummy, photo of Harry. “Ygritte, meet Harry.” 

Ygritte nearly falls off the stool trying to snatch the phone from Sansa’s hand, holding it between her and Jeyne. She licks her lips to be obviously seductive. “Sans! He is HOT!. No wonder you’ve been keeping him all to yourself!” 

Sansa smiles, but it takes a minute for Ygritte’s words to really sink in. The four of them were inseparable for years, where one went the other three followed. Yet, they hadn’t even so much as seen a photo of the guys she’s been with for 4 years, who she lives with, has a life with. 

It wasn’t for a lack of trying on their part. Even after the initial shock of Sansa’s departure wore off they would still try to get in contact with her. She still got a birthday message or video every year from all of them. Sansa would sometimes message back, usually she wouldn’t. It was easier than lying. 

Jeyne chiming in brings Sansa out of his musings, “For once I agree with Ygritte, he is hot!” 

Sansa laughs, “he is. He’s a good guy.” 

“Don’t forget the fact that he’s a doctor!” Margaery pipes in, taking a sip of her wine.

Ygritte holds up her hands, always a fan of the dramatic. “Okay, okay. So nice, hot, rich. But the real question, Sansa.” She leans forwards, resting her elbows on the island. “How does he fuck?”

Margaery laughs, nearly spitting her wine and Jeyne looks scandalized. “Ygritte, really?” Jeyne exclaims, “You could at least phrase is differently, gods!” 

“I think it’s a fair question,” Margaery looks at Sansa and winks. 

“Let’s just say he aims to please, and his anatomy knowledge comes in handy” Sansa smirks, smug. 

Ygritte squeals, “amazing!” 

Three bottles of wine, a few hours and one dinner later, they girls are happily buzzed as they begin to get ready. It feels like old times, when they were much, much younger. Sansa feels free tonight, probably because of the wine, but she was actually _excited_ about tonight. 

“Robb just messaged me, they’ll be here by 9 or so. They’ve ordered the cars be here for 10.” Margaery says as she returns from her walk-in closet. 

“Why aren’t we just taking cabs?” Sansa asks, pausing from finishing her makeup at Margaery’s vanity. 

Marg shrugs, “Safer this way.” 

Sansa resists the urge to roll her eyes, both confused and jealous of Margaery’s ability to accept all aspects of this life. 

Jeyne calls from the ensuite, “Whose all coming here, and whose meeting there?” 

“Why, you wondering if you and Theon will finally bone?” Ygritte says from the bed. 

“Ygritte! Theon and I are not going to _bone_.” 

They laugh as Ygritte sits up and thrusts her tongue between her fingers in the shape of a V. _Well, she hasn’t changed a bit_ Ygritte is just as wild as she’s always been, with possibly even less of a filter. If that was even possible? 

“Uhm it’ll be Robb, Theon, Jon and Tormund,” Sansa see’s Margaery give her and small smile in the mirror. “Arya, Gendry, Rickon and Shireen will be meeting us there.” 

Ygritte sits up on the bed, “So Sans, is Harry better than Jon? Cause we all remember the sounds of Jon and Sansa and Jon’s magical tongue.” 

Now it was Sansa’s turn to be scandalized, and Margaery nearly falls over from trying to contain herself. “Ygritte!” Sansa laughs.

“What it’s a valid question, god you and Jon could barely keep your hands off each other, and we would all be lying if we said we hadn’t heard you two going at it once or twice.” 

Sansa blushes and turns away, not her finest moments. 

“Oh my god, do you remember that time they went at it in the bathroom at the Red Keep?” Jeyne laughs as she emerges from the bathroom. 

“That wasn’t even the worst, do you remember Tormund’s house party, that is where we learned about Jon’s magical tongue.” Ygritte says as she takes off her shirt to change into her dress. 

“Okay, okay. That’s enough about Sansa’s love life.” Margaery laughs, though Sansa can see her in the mirrors reflection, looking at her. 

Sansa mouths thank you, and Margaery smiles and winks back at her. 

“Fine, but you didn’t answer the question. He’s hot, is he better in bed than Jon?” 

Sansa forces herself to laugh, play along, she knows its all in good fun. “Harry and Jon are very different, can’t compare them.” 

“weakkk,” Ygrittes sighs as she heads into the ensuite. 

Sansa shakes her head, she really couldn’t compare the two. Harry _was_ fantastic in bed, generous, well endowed. Jon though, Jon was passionate. It was like they were magnets the way they were pulled together, and he was _always_ hungry for her. 

Sansa forces herself not to think about it, because the truth was nothing would compare to Jon. It wasn’t just sex with Jon, it was this primal connection that she is sure she will never find with anyone else, it definitely wasn’t healthy the way they craved each other.

A little while late, they are all back in the kitchen, having moved from wine to liquor, Sansa sipping a Gin and Tonic. When they hear the front door open. 

Margaery throws herself into Robb’s arms when he enters the kitchen, “you are late, sir.” 

Sansa glances at the clock, its 9:35. She glances back to see Robb smile and dip Margaery back, “and you are drunk, M’Lady. 

Sansa laughs and Ygritte groans. “Gross, get a room” 

Robb wiggles his eyebrows, “I’ve got a whole house of them.” Margaery swats him on the chest as he raises her up. 

“Sorry, not this time stud.” 

Robb whines as he loosens his tie and comes over to Sansa. Kissing her lightly on the forehead, “glad you’re here, baby sister.” 

Sansa smiles up at him, before turning to the group and giving a little wave. 

“Sansa, dammmnnnn girl. Look at you.” Theon says as he makes his way around the kitchen. Although, his eyes are fully on Jeyne. 

“I need a shower,” Jon basically growls as he leaves the kitchen and heads up stairs. 

Sansa looks at Margaery, who shrugs and pours Sansa another drink. Tormund has made his way over to Ygritte, when Sansa’s jaw basically drops as they kiss. _When in the fuck did that happen?_

She leans over slightly to Margaery and whispers, “When did that start?” A confused furrow to her brow. 

Margaery laughs softly and shakes her head, “oh hunny, that’s been going on for years. If its any consolation, we were all as shocked as you are when it started.” 

As Sansa watched her friends, who are inadvertently paired off, Sansa couldn’t help but feel a little sad at how much she’d missed. She didn’t regret or feel guilty about the choice she made to leave, it was the right choice. But maybe how she had done it, was wrong? 

These people loved her, they would have supported her had she given them the chance. Instead, she ignored their calls, texts, emails. Ghosted them completely once she changed her phone number. She feels guilty that she pushed them all aside so easily. You had to, it was safer the fewer people who knew, she reminds herself. This entire situation, even 6 years later, is so fucked up 

Sansa is brought back to reality when Jon’s deep voice resonates when he returns to the kitchen, “Margaery, the wash basket wasn’t in the bathroom, so I hung my towel over the shower. Hope that’s okay” 

Gods damnit, son of a bitch. Sansa can’t control herself before she is eyeing Jon up and down like a piece of meat. Fuck, he looks good. Wearing his typical black skinny jeans, a tight black t-shirt. His biceps have definitely gotten bigger, and even through his shirt you can see his defined stomach and chest. 

Sansa discreetly shakes her head, brushing all the thoughts of Jon aside. Well, trying to at least. 

“Alright, cars will be here in 5, let’s do a shot!” Margaery chimes, bringing a tray of shots over to the island. Sansa turns in her stool, back towards the group. She feels Jon slide in beside her. _It’s the only free spot, and it was closest to where he was standing_ , she tries to convince herself. 

“Bad luck if we don’t cheers, fuckers.” Tormund says, looking directly at Sansa. “To Sansa being home!” He exclaims as he raises his glass. 

They smile and all look at Sansa, “To Sansa being home!”

Sansa can’t help herself and looks at Jon, who is looking directly back at her. Shot glass at his lips but not yet drank. He gives her a single nod and takes the shot, licking his lips as he lowers the glass to the island. 

_Fuck me_. Sansa feels herself get wet at the sight, her lower half aching for him in an uncontrollable response. She feels Jon’s hand lightly ghost her lower back and has to physically stop herself from moaning. 

Jon doesn’t move, or lean down, he just stares at her and whispers. “Welcome home, Sansa” 

Sansa stares up at him, she can feel her eyes darkening, mirroring his. Before either can say anything more the cars honk from outside. _Thank god, what are you doing!_ ” 

\---

Twenty-five minutes and another shot later, the group has made their way into The Brotherhood. It’s exactly how Sansa remembers it. Dark, great music choices, lots of sofas and dark corners. The others are already there, having held a private area with bottle service. 

Sansa hasn’t adjusted to seeing Rickon in a place like this, his arms draped over Shireen, he was just a kid the last time she saw him. _God, he looks like we all did so many years ago_. 

Arya sits down beside Sansa, “I’m sorry.” She’s slurring a bit, clearly in her cups. 

Sansa, who is admittedly quite drunk, startles, “Sorry for what?” 

“This morning in the kitchen, Gendry told me I came off as hostile,” Arya shrugs, sipping on her beer. 

Sansa laughs, “seriously, don’t worry about it I would expect nothing less of you. I’d be more offended if you didn’t treat me like everyone else” Sansa bumps into her with her shoulder, smiling. 

Arya narrows her eyes and looks Sansa up and down, “Sansa Stark, are you drunk?” 

Just as the question leaves her mouth Margaery flings herself between them over the back of the couch. She looks at Sansa, then Arya and then back to Sansa, “she sure is! And now, she’s going to come and dance with us!” 

\---

Jon watches as Margaery drags Sansa onto the dance floor. With only a slight, very pitiful protest from Sansa. She must be drunk, he smiles a little and shakes his head.

He watches as Sansa loses herself in the music, smiling and laughing with Ygritte. Singing along with Jeyne. She looks free tonight, happy. Happier than she’s been since she came home. He sighs, fuck. Happier than he’s seen her in a long time, even before she left. 

She wasn’t wrong, when she had told him that he had stopped noticing. It pissed him off at first, hurt like hell hearing it to, but he realized later she wasn’t wrong. He should have noticed, he’s not sure what exactly, but if she was planning on leaving, he should have noticed something. 

Seeing her again, gods it was like getting kicked in the face. She is just as beautiful as she used to be, fuck possibly even more beautiful. _Is that possible?_

Robb slumps down beside Jon, fairly wasted from the tequila shots Theon has ordered. “Gods, its been ages since we’ve done this” he laughs 

Jon, whose eyes still haven’t left Sansa, smiles and grunts in response, “It has.” Robb’s eyes follow Jon’s, “Man, are you ever going to move on? She’s never coming back.” 

Jon looks at Robb now and shrugs, “I’ve tried. With Val. Maybe someday.” _He is way to fucking drunk right now to be having this discussion_. “Doesn’t matter, tonight’s not about her and I.” he pats Robb on the shoulder. 

“yeah, right.” Robb rolls his eyes. “Just don’t do anything that would involve me giving you a black eye before the wedding, okay? Margaery would divorce me if I fucked up our wedding pictures” 

Now it’s Jon’s turn to laugh, “well A, you couldn’t take me if you tried. And B-” Jon is cut off by Tormund before he can finish 

“Fuckers, why are you sittin’ here, when there are beautiful women over there!” pointing to Ygritte, Margaery and Sansa. Theon and Jeyne having snuck away to the bar.” 

Robb looks at Jon and shrugs, standing. 

Jon waves them off and slouches back into the sofa, taking a long pull from his beer. “You guys go, I’m due for another beer soon. Plus, someone has to keep Rickon from attacking poor Shireen on the sofa” he laughs. 

“Hey, what do think I am some kind of wild animal?” Rickon scoffs, 

All three men look at Rickon, “Yes.” 

Robb and Tormund make their way over to the girls, Jon watches from the sofa. He should be there with Sansa, it was always supposed to be him and her. What the hell happened? He knew she was pulling away before she left, there was a bunch of shit going down, and he knew when it was done, he would have to put some serious effort into them, but then she was just gone

_What the hell happened, Sansa? How did things get so bad you wanted to sneak away and never come back? What the fuck did I do?_

Had Sansa come to him, and told him she wanted to leave they could have talked about it, tried to figure it out. Not that they could’ve just left, it’s not so easy to get out of this life once you’re in it. Instead, she just left? Did she really have so little faith in him? Was he really turning into such a monster that she didn’t want him anymore? 

Just as Jon’s mind was going down the rabbit hole, he felt Sansa’s movement shift. Their eyes locked, and she tilted her head to one side and smiled. _Fuck, I’m still so in love with the woman ,but I wont fuck things up for her._

Jon was hoping Sansa would turn back to the group or go to the bar where Rickon and Shireen had joined Theon. If she just stayed away, maybe he could control himself. Instead, she started heading over to Jon, _well fuck._

\--

Sansa couldn’t help herself, she knew she should stay away, her whole plan was to stay away. But she was drunk, and she was an awful person who couldn’t control herself. As much as she loathes to admit it, all her thoughts of Jon tonight overpowered her thoughts of Harry

She made her way over to Jon and sat down beside him, legs crossed and her body turned facing him. He gives her a lop sided grim and looks away, taking a long pull from his beer.

“What are you doing here Sansa?” He asks, arching is eyebrow as he looks at her. 

“My feet got tired,” she laughs and wiggles her heals. “Plus, I need another drink.” 

Jon hums in agreement, “You look good, Sansa.” 

Sansa lips purse together, trying to contain her smile. She laughs, suddenly nervous, “Do you, uhm want to go grab a drink? 

Jon nods, standing and offering his hand to help her up. He puts his hand on her waist and leans forward, “I’m just going to run to the bathroom, I’ll meet you at the bar.” 

Sansa can feel the heat from Jon’s hand even as she makes her way to the bar, her feet take her to the opposite side that the other are at. _What the fuck is wrong with you_ , her conscience yells at her! 

She orders herself a gin and Jon another beer when she feels a hand on her back, dangerously close to being fully on her ass. _Definitely NOT Jon._

Sansa spins abruptly, successfully moving whose ever hand that was in the process, to see a dark-haired man standing uncomfortably close to her. 

He is tall but something about his face looks twisted, evil and drunk. 

Sansa smiles tightly, “Excuse, but I’m waiting for someone” 

The man puts his hand on her waist, holding her in place, “How about you and I go out back, and have a drink together?” 

Sansa shifts slightly, so she isn’t trapped between him and the bar, “Uhm, no thank you. Like I said, I am waiting for you someone.” 

His hand tightens on her hip, on the verge of being painful. “No, you’re going to come out have a drink with me.” 

“Let go of me.” 

“Come one baby, don’t be such a priss,” his other hand twirls a piece of her hair, he is looking at her like a piece of meat. His hand moves down and ghosts the side of her breast, as his hand gets impossibly tighter on her hip. 

Sansa steps back and is immediately pressed into someone, _Jon._

“Ramsey,” Jon growls. He reaches around Sansa and removes Ramsey’s hand, leaving his in its place, gently rubbing his thumb over her hip bone. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing.” 

Sansa instinctively leans back into Jon’s chest, feeling safer, his hand tightens around her protectively. 

“Ahh, Jon Snow, is she you’re bitch then?” Ramsey sends Jon a sinister smile. Sansa had dealt with her fair share of men in the past, but something about Ramsey, sends chills down her spine. 

“Watch it, Ramsey. You know exactly who she is,” Jon feels Sansa shiver, and moves her further into his chest. His free hand moving to her shoulder and giving it a reassuring squeeze. 

“Ahh, so this is the elusive Sansa Stark. I wondered, the stories about her beauty are,” he paused, licking his lips, “well, they weren’t tales for fools that’s for sure.” 

Sansa wrinkled her nose and lowered her eyebrows, this man is positively vile. 

“You should go, Ramsey. Before Robb or Theon find you here. You’ll have more trouble then you’re worth, I can assure you.” 

Ramsey turns to take his leave, raising his hands, “Fine, I’ll go. Sansa, I’m sure we will be seeing each other very, very soon.” 

Jon steps around Sansa, grabbing Ramsey by the collar of his shirt, “Not fucking likely, you touch her, speak to her, so much as even look at her again? I will kill you, I promise.” 

Ramsey smiles, as if the thought of pain brings him pleasure, removing Jon’s hand from his shirt and heading towards the door. 

Jon turns to Sansa, putting his hand on her cheeks and ducking down so she was looking at him, “Are you okay?” 

“I’m fine, who the hell was that?” Sansa was sure she had never met him before, but he seemed to know exactly who she was. 

Jon grabs their drinks from the bar, hands Sansa hers and grabs her hand. “Let’s go on the patio.” 

Sansa follows Jon through the club towards the back patio, never letting go of his hand as he guides her through the club. It wasn’t exactly the nicest night, so somehow, they were the only two outside. 

Sansa hops up on the side of the railing and shivers, it was actually quite cold tonight. Jon smirks, setting his beer down on the railing and hands her his leather jacket. “What, can’t handle the weather up North anymore, Stark?” 

Sansa scoffs, “I couldn’t handle the cold even when I lived up here. Even in Essos I still wear socks to bed.” 

Jon laughs, “Oh yes, I remember. Your fucking freezing feet.” 

Sansa blushed, reminded of their times together. She cleares her throat, trying to change the subject. “So, who was that?” 

Jon sighs, “Ramsey Bolton.” 

“Bolton? As in, Roose? I didn’t know he had a son.” 

“He does, and he’s fucked up.” 

“Is he part of the new problems? The new _players in the game_?” Sansa eyes Jon suspiciously. 

He shakes his head, “Do you really want to discuss the business and him when you’re drunk?” 

Sansa scoffs, the alcohol making her judgement cloudy, “I don’t really want to discuss it ever, but I also need to know if I’m in danger.” 

Jon’s face, suddenly serious,tightens. He takes a step between her legs, and Sansa becomes acutely aware of how close they are. He puts on hand on her thigh, the other of her neck, drawing her attention to him “Sansa, you know I would never let anything happen to you.” 

Sansa knows Jon didn’t mean to make this situation in any way sexual, but the sexual tension is so thick Sansa can barely see through it. Jon here, between her legs, her skin burns where his hands are. 

She isn’t sure who moves first, but suddenly Jon’s mouth is on hers, the kiss is tentative at first but that doesn’t last long. Jon’s hand tightens around her neck and moves further up her thigh as he deepens the kiss. 

His tongue swipes at her lower lip, demanding entrance, which she grants without hesitation. She can't think, any thoughts except for Jon and this moment are gone. 

Jon deepens this kiss even more, demanding more of her as her arms go around his neck and her legs wrap around his waist. 

Jon growls as he tugs on her hair, drawing her head back as he attacks her jaw and neck. Kissing and nipping, remembering all the little spots that make her crazy. His hand has ghosted further up her thighs, barely touching where she wants him to. She grinds up against him, trying desperately for any friction she can to soothe the ache. 

Jon chuckles, and moves further down her neck, pulling her silk camisole down just enough to expose her lace, barely there bra. She feel’s him smirk into her chest. 

“Jon,” Sansa moans, she doesn’t even know what she’s asking for. For him to stop? To continue? Is she checking to make sure this isn’t a dream? 

“I’ve got you, gods Sansa, I would fuck you right here.” He latches onto her nipple though her bra, while his other hand is massaging her other breast. “Do you have any idea how much I’ve missed this, you, your body.” He moans, drawing her nipple into a hard peak through her bra, before moving back up to her mouth. 

Sansa is so wet she can feel it through her jeans, fuck, why’d I have to wear jeans. 

As if sensing her thoughts, Jon hand moves to the button of her jeans and undoes them. Sansa shifts forward on the railing, so Jon has better access. He dips two fingers into the front of her panties, its so snug that Sansa instantly gets the pressure she’s been craving. She moans and throws her head back, giving Jon access to her neck. 

“So fucking wet, Sansa. Always so fucking wet for me.” And then suddenly he stops, his hands are gone, his mouth is gone and he’s stepping back. Sansa is panting and looks at him. He runs his fingers through his hair and scratches the back of his neck

“Fuck, Sansa. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“Jon, I-” she doesn’t even know what to say, she’s hit with the realization of what she just did. _Oh my god, Harry._ She looks at Jon, her eyes filled with tears. He looks pained and frustrated.

A cough draws their attention to the door. Gendry having come out back, _God, how much did he see_ He looks at Jon, then Sansa and says, “Sorry to interrupt, but uhm, Robb’s looking for you.” He points to Jon. 

Jon nods, and looks at Sansa. She is sure she looks positively debauched. Her jeans still undone, her camisole only half pulled up. 

Gendry steps forward, “Why don’t you go find Robb, Sansa and I will hang out here for a bit.” 

Jon nods, and turns to Sansa, she knows there is so much he wants to say but he heads inside. Her eyes follow him through the door when she sees Gendry turn around. Giving her the privacy to fix her appearance. 

Though she is willing them not to, tears silently roll down her cheeks. How could she have done that, and why did it have to feel so good. Even though she knows its wrong, she craves Jon’s touch again. 

She swallows, “Gendry, I, uhm we” 

Gendry turns, and raises his hands up, “Sansa, it’s okay.” He moves towards her, leaning his arms on the railing looking out, she does the same. “I won’t say anything, Sansa. Not even to Arya.” 

Sansa gives him a sad smile. She knows what Arya sees in him; he is a good man. Kind, gentle, honourable. A good contrast to Arya’s wild and impulsive nature. 

He looks at her, “Are you okay? “

Sansa can’t control the sob as tears fall. Gendry puts his arm around her, giving her some comfort. “I’ve fucked everything up, I’ve made so many mistakes. 

“We all make mistakes, Sansa.”

Gendry smiles and the two of them stay in silence for a few minutes, Sansa uses the camera on her phone to ensure her makeup isn’t too badly ruined. She looks at Gendry, “Thank You.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Thoughts? I hope you enjoyed this ask much as I did! 
> 
> Say hi on Tumbler! meaganfence


	6. Regrets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He thinks I regret him, Sansa muses. If only he knew how much she _didn’t_ regret anything about them. Without him, Sansa’s life would be so dramatically different, but she wouldn’t change any of it. Not considering everything it gave her, everything he gave her. She leans her back against the railing and crosses her arms. “I don’t regret you, Jon."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hadn't planned on updating so quickly, but I had these conversations stuck in my head and just had to get them out.

Sansa wakes up to blinding sunlight in eyes, having not closed the curtains last night. She didn’t get in until after two. Sansa, not wanting to cause a scene, went back inside and spent the next hour acting as if she hadn’t almost fucked Jon on the patio. 

Sansa groans, how is it only Sunday morning. She had been home for three and a half days and she feels like she’s been here a lifetime. How has so much shit happened in such a short period of time. Also, what the actual fuck was she thinking yesterday? 

She pulls her pillow over her head, thinking back to the bar. Had she just not gone over to Jon in the first place he wouldn’t have touched her at the bar, they wouldn’t have ended up on the patio, and the night wouldn’t have ended up with his hands down her pants. 

Another wave of complete guilt washes over her, how could she have done that to Harry? How could she have jeopardized everything they had built back home. Drunk or not that was a shitty fucking thing to do. She would have to tell him, somehow. She should have told him after the party on Friday night. 

She just wants to sleep. She needs sleep and a Sausage & Egg McMuffin for her hangover. _Bing Bing_ , Sansa sighs, and grabs her phone. Who the hell would text her at 7:15 in the morning? 

**Unknow Number [7:15am] - Hey, I got your number from Robb when he was drunk last night. We need to talk. It’s Jon.**

Suddenly she can’t breathe, coming home was by far the worst decision she’s made in quite sometime. Yet, she wants to see him. She wants to talk to him. _Why did he pull away last night?_

Sansa shakes her head, no, no, no! You should be happy he pulled away and ended it before it went any further. At least one of you had a conscience last night. Yet, it hurt that he was the one that ended the kiss, that he regretted it. 

**Sansa [7:18am] – Hi…**

She literally has no idea what to say, so the message remained unsent. She knew he could see she had read it and was typing, but she didn’t know what to say. Her phone chimed again. 

**Unknow Number [7:22am] – Meet me at the pier in an hour.**

**Sansa [7:23am] – Okay.**

\---

An hour later Sansa is standing on the pier, looking over the water. It’s early, so the air is still crisp. She had managed to leave without anyone noticing. Catelyn was out, probably at the foundation or yoga and everyone else was still asleep. She hadn’t taken a guard with her, but she was with Jon. She would be safe. 

Sansa notices a black SUV pull into the pier parking lot beside her car, he flashes his lights. Letting her know it’s Jon, something the family the always did. He got out of the car, a bag in hand and made his way over to her. 

He looked good, he always looks good, he’s wearing jeans and a black peacoat. He looks, nervous, maybe? Hesitant. Sansa can’t stop her heart from beating faster, she has those stupid butterflies in her stomach that she used to get all those years ago. _You idiot._

The pier used to be their spot, they would meet here when the first started dating, to avoid the prying eyes of the family, after that they would always come here after an argument. _Neutral Ground_ as Jon had once called it. She tried not to read into him asking her to meet him here. 

Sansa smiles and gives Jon a little wave as her gets closer, he smiles back and places a bag on the rail. McDonalds. He hands her a coffee and fetches a Sausage & Egg McMuffin out of the bag. 

“Extra cheese, of course.” He chuckles as he hands it to her. “You always want one after drinking.” She smiles, yet her heart aches that he remembered, or that he cared enough to pick one up. 

She tuns and leans on the railing, mirroring him, and takes a bite. They eat in silence. The silence is both uncomfortable and comfortable. Regardless of all the shit going on in their world, he’s always brought her peace, even when he was the one disrupting it. _How is that even possible, how completely fucked up is that?_

Jon finishes and turns to her, “Sansa, listen. About last night.” 

Sansa raises her hand and stops him, “No Jon, it was my fault. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I put you in that position and thank you. For putting a stop to it, you were right it shouldn’t have happened.” 

His eyes narrow slightly when he looks at her, his eyes are dark. “I said I shouldn’t have done that, I never said it shouldn’t have happened.” 

Sansa swallows, she doesn’t quite understand what he means, isn’t that the same thing? 

Jon sighs, “Listen, Sansa. I won’t say anything. To him, when he get’s here.” He takes a step towards her and tucks a stray hair behind her ear. “But I don’t regret what happened. I just didn’t want to be another thing you regret. 

He thinks I regret him, Sansa muses. If only he knew how much she _didn’t_ regret anything about them. Without him, Sansa’s life would be so dramatically different, but she wouldn’t change any of it. Not considering everything it gave her, everything he gave her. She leans her back against the railing and crosses her arms. “I don’t regret you, Jon." 

Jon aches his eyebrow. “Sure.” 

Sansa gives him a small smile, resisting the urge to cup his cheek although she so badly wants to. “I don’t.” 

He gives her that lop-sided grin she loves so much and runs his fingers through his hair. “We haven’t really talked, you and me. Since you’ve been back.” 

“We’ve talked.” 

Jon laughs, “No, we’ve fought but we haven’t talked.” 

Sansa grins, “Isn’t that the same thing with us?” 

“Ha, it used to be, I guess. Maybe we should change that.” 

Sansa sighs, “there isn’t really much to talk about, Jon.” 

“You know that’s not true, Sans. There’s six years of our lives that we know nothing about,” he shrugs before continuing. “We used to know everything about each other. 

_Used to,_ the words sting. “It’s just easier that way, this way I guess, not talking.” She looks down at her shoes, “I can’t be half in half out of your life. 

Jon takes a step forward, leaning over the railing again, “Why? So, you don’t reveal your big dark secret?” 

Sansa hates that he knows her so well, she hates that he keeps pushing because in the past he has learned every secret she’s ever had. She knows it drives him crazy that he can’t figure this one out. 

“Why are you so certain I have some secret I am keeping from you? I’ve told you there isn’t.” 

He closes his eyes and sighs, “Because I fucking know you, Sansa. _I know you._ I have spent the last 6 years going over our time before you left, going over that night and still non of it makes any god damn sense. 

He straightens and turns his body to face her, “Which means I either didn’t know you as well as I thought I did, which I know isn’t it, or I am fucking missing something." 

Sansa releases a breath she hadn’t even realized she had been holding, “Jon, I - “

He cuts her off, “did I do something, Sansa? Did I hurt you in some way that I don’t realize?" 

Sansa just stares at him for a minute, really takes the time to look at him. He looks so pained, so confused, so hurt. It kills her to know that she’s the cause of his pain but telling him now isn’t even an option. Not now, maybe not ever, but definitely not now. 

She looks him in the eyes, “Please Jon, just stop. Stop digging for something I am telling you isn’t there, stop pushing me.” 

“No.” 

His one-word response barters no argument, she sighs and shakes her head, “Listen, Jon. About last night.” 

He steps forward quickly, boxing her in with hands on either side of her, gripping the rail. “Don’t, don’t say you regret last night.” 

She can feel the heat coming off him, “Jon, it shouldn’t have happened. Harry-” 

“Sansa, don’t. Don’t say him name, not when you’re with me. I told you I won’t tell him.” 

Sansa looks at him incredulously, “why?” 

Jon scoffs, and steps back, “Exactly how much of a monster do you think I am? You think I’d fuck with whatever life you have back there, to what? Get you back? I don’t think it really works that way, do you?” 

Jon grabs her waist and pulls her flush against him, “Yes, Sansa. Yes, I want you back. In Westeros, in my arms,” he lowers his head and whispers in her ear, “in my bed."

He looks back in her eyes, "But I’m not stupid enough to believe you are coming back, no matter how badly we want you to.” 

His eyes soften, “Sansa, I don’t believe to understand why you left. I wish you would’ve come to me if it really was that you were so unhappy and asked me to leave with you.” Sansa’s head snaps up to meet his. "But I do know you still love me. I can feel it, I can see it. You love me, but you won’t come home to me, so whatever it is, it’s important to you. I’m not going to hurt you by fucking things up for you.” 

“Would you have?” 

It’s Jon’s turn to be confused, “Would I have, what?” 

“Left with me, if I had come to you.” Sansa swallows, her eyes filling with tears. It feels like time stops, waiting for his answer. 

“I don’t know, Sansa. It would’ve been hard for me to leave, given my position. But, if I had known it would come down to you leaving,” he shakes his head, and sighs. “I would’ve tried at least.” 

Sansa looks up at him, her blue eyes wide and sad. His answer makes her more confidant in her decision 6 years ago. Although it breaks her heart, that he would’ve at least tried to leave, that’s exactly why she didn’t tell him. She needed to go, and had he known the truth and not been able to or not been willing to leave, they wouldn’t have let her leave either. She would’ve been trapped for the rest of her life. It’s why she did things the way she did. 

Tears rolling down her face, he nods. “I should go, Jon.” She puts a hand to his chest, as a goodbye and gently pushes past him. 

“Sansa,” he calls. 

She stops and turns around. He’s standing, with his hands in his pockets, and he looks impossibly heartbroken. A sight she hadn’t seen since she left him six years ago, looking much the way he does right now. 

“Are you ever going to tell me?” 

Sansa offers him a small sideways smile, “Good-bye, Jon” 

Sansa gets in her car, Jon is still at the pier, though he has turned and is resting against the railing looking out on the water. Sansa’s heart breaks a little further when she sees him wipe and hand over his eyes. She knows he loves her, and he was right that she still loves him. They are soulmates. But they weren’t meant to be together. 

\---

Jon wants to turn and make sure she’s okay, watch her drive away but he can’t. He is not sure he could handle watching her leave again, her leaving in a week will be about all he can handle. 

He is more certain than ever that there is something she isn’t telling him. Her imploring eyes asking him to stop digging, he saw the sadness in her features when she asked if he would’ve left with her. 

God, how he wishes she would’ve asked, it would’ve been hard to leave and not just because of the business. This was the only family he had left, a dead-beat dad who was never in the picture, it was always just him and his mom. Once the cancer took her, all he had left was Robb and the Stark’s. 

If he had known she was so unhappy though, if she had told him whatever desperate reason she had for leaving. He would’ve tried like hell to make it happen, because she would have been enough for him. Obviously, she had done well for herself, she was able to make a life for herself. _With someone else_

He isn’t an idiot. He knows he isn’t a good man. He is loyal, brave, strong but he isn’t good. The shit they do, even the shit indirectly caused by what they do, it makes them bad people. Sansa though, she made him want to be better. She was good. He wanted to be good for her. 

_Harry is a good man._ Jon reminds himself. She found herself someone good, and as much as Jon hates it, he knows its better for her. He knows he should let her be, let whatever secret she has go, it’s what she wants, it’s what’s best for her. 

But he can’t. He is so fucking in love with this girl, he has been since he was 12 years old and he said to her, _One day, I’m gonna marry you Sansa Stark._ After that, he was done for. There would be no one else for him, and there wasn’t. So, the thought of another man in her life, in her heart, _in her bed_. It just about broke him. 

Jon slams his fists on the railing, and stalks back to his car. _What the fuck do I do now? Where the fuck do I go from here?_

\---

By the time Sansa made it back to Winterfell her mind was made up. She had to tell Harry, she wasn’t going to tell him who Jon was to her, he didn’t need to know that it was Jon that was the only thing standing between them, _he_ could remain a man of name only but Harry deserves to know what she did. 

Sansa didn’t exactly know how much she would tell Harry, does she tell him she kissed her ex? Kissed him twice? Fooled around on a public patio? She groans and bangs her head on the steering wheel. How could she have been so stupid, to get herself in such a screwed-up situation. 

Sansa grabs her phone and heads down to the shore, if she had to do this. If she was about to blow up her entire world and the world of every person important to her, she needed to be on the water. She takes one last breath before facetiming Harry. She had to at least be as in person as she could, she deserved to see the pain she’d cause. 

Not long after calling, Harry’s handsome face pops up on the screen. He’s in their living room stretched out on the sofa. 

“Hi baby, god look at you. I miss you.” Harry beams at her, her guilt multiplies. _I do love him, I love them both._

“Hi Babe,” Sansa tries so hard for her voice to remain normal, but she can’t stop it from cracking a little. Harry’s face scrunches up, and he sits up on the couch. 

“Sansa, baby. What’s wrong? Everything okay?” 

Sansa sobs, “Nothings wrong, well I mean I’m okay.” She stops and looks at him, even through the phone she can see the crease in his forehead. “Harry, I fucked up.” 

Harry inhales, his voice deeper as he closes his eyes, “what happened, Sansa?” 

“We were out, and he was there,” She doesn’t have to say his name, he knows who she is talking about. She proceeds to tell harry the tale, well a version of last night anyways. He was there, she was drunk, he kissed her, she kissed back. Not exactly truthful, but he’s is going to hurt bad enough without the full truth. 

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, his head is down and he’s rubbing his brow and pinching the bridge of his nose. Sansa waits, she isn’t going to force him into dealing with it any quicker than he wants to. 

A loud bang comes through the phone as Harry slams his fist down on the coffee table. “Fuck, Sansa. What the hell am I supposed to do with this?” 

“Harry, I am sorry. I am so sorry. It was a mistake, I was drunk. Not that its an excuse. I’m sorry.” 

He finally looks at the phone, the pain he’s feeling evident in his face. “Did you sleep with him?” 

Sansa shakes her head immediately, “No, Harry. I swear we didn’t sleep together.” _He just had his hands down my pants and my nipple in his mouth_. 

“I just don’t get it Sansa, you left that life, your life is here now. _Everything_ is here. How could you do that? Do you know how many people you would hurt?" 

“I know. I know. Harry, my life is still there. I am coming home. After all of this, once the wedding is over. I am coming home.” 

“Sansa, I. Fuck Sansa. I always knew what he was to you, I asked you a long time ago to tell me when you love me more, and you never have. But fuck, Sansa. We have a life here. How could you put everything you built for yourself on the line like that?” 

Sansa can’t speak, the tears are rolling down and every time she tries to talk, she can’t. 

Harry’s face softens, “Sansa, babe. Breathe, take a breath.” 

She takes a few breathes and whispers, “please, don’t leave.” 

Harry sighs, “I need time, Sansa. I just, I need some time to think.” 

“Harry, please.” Sansa begs. 

“I have to go Sansa. I’ll call you, after I’ve had some time to think,” and then he’s gone. Sansa stares at her phone and the floodgates open. 

Sansa spends, god she doesn’t even know how long at the shore. She is sure she couldn’t possibly cry anymore. How could she have done that to him, after everything he has done for her, after everything they’ve built together. 

She also knows, now more than ever, that when she leaves next week it will be forever. She has to leave Jon behind for good, her secrets will remain with her and Harry and that breaks her heart. When she leaves next week, she will finally let Jon go, she owes it to Harry and to everything she’s left in Essos. 

Sansa cries just a little bit more, the fear and the pain of finally letting Jon go, _really_ letting him go. It’s like losing a piece of herself, a piece of her heart, a piece of her soul. 

\---

Sansa didn’t hear from Harry until Monday, having spent most of Sunday at Winterfell. She tried to keep herself occupied with Mom, or by the pool when all she really wanted to do was call home. She knew Harry needed his space and the least she could do is wait for him to call but it was hard. 

Catelyn was busy preparing for Harry’s arrival and all Sansa could do was hope he was still coming, it was asking a lot considering what happened but explaining to her family why he wasn’t coming or having to spent the next week not knowing where they stood, it was too much. 

By Monday afternoon Sansa had worked herself into a full-blown panic, it had been 24 hours since they talked, and she hadn’t gotten so much as a text message. She knew he was mad, he had every right to be, but he was supposed to be arriving in less than 24 hours. 

When her phone finally rang, it took Sansa seconds to answer it. “Hello?” 

_“Hey,” came Harry’s soft voice through the phone._

There was silence on both ends, an awkward and uncomfortable silence, “Thanks for calling.” 

_“I told you I would, Sansa. I just needed to think a bit, and Sunday’s are always busy here you know that.”_

“I know, it’s why I didn’t call you,” Sansa gives a small laugh, “You know how much I hate suspense, so it wasn’t easy” 

_That draws a small chuckle from Harry and Sansa feels herself breath a little easier. “I know, thank you. For not calling.” He didn’t mean it coldly, Sansa knew that. Harry has always taken time on his own to process things, it was the same when she had told him her father was one of the biggest mobsters in Westeros._

“Of course, so. Uhm, what did you decide? God, that sounds dumb. Sorry, I just don’t know how to ask it any other way…” _Are you going to leave me_ , that’s what Sansa had really wanted to ask. 

_Harry groans, “Fuck, Sansa. I’m pissed, really fucking pissed. It’s shitty timing, since I’m supposed to head out tomorrow. I don’t get it, I really thought that despite your feelings for him, you wouldn’t have jeopardized everything you have here.”_

That’s it, Sansa was convinced this was it. Harry was going to end things, or at the very least not come tomorrow. Sansa’s breath hitches as she speaks, “Harry, I” 

_“No. Just listen, I need you to just listen to me.”_

Sansa instantly stop talking and waits, whatever Harry has to say, she needs to listen. She owes it to him to just stop and listen. 

_Harry exhales, “Sansa, I love you. Like really fucking love you and everything you’ve brought to our relationship. More then that, I love what we’ve built here. I’m angry as hell, angrier than I think I’ve ever been. But as much as it hurts and I don’t want to admit it, I get it to. I know how much I love you, and I don’t think I’d let anything stop me from trying to be with you. I’m assuming he feels the same way,” there is a bite to his words._

_“I’m probably a complete idiot, but I am holding on to the fact that you belong here, and I know you will come home, with me, after all of this. What we have here, it’s too important and matters too much to me to just walk away from”_

_“Sansa, it can’t happen again. We can work on this, when we’re back, but never again. You need to swear to me, it won’t happen again. Ever.”_

Sansa answers immediately, with no hesitation, “Never. It will never happen again. I promise. What we have at home, it’s too important. It was a mistake.” 

_“Okay.”_

Sansa pauses, “So, you’re still coming tomorrow?” 

_"Yes, Sansa. I’m coming, it would be rude not to and,” he stops._

“and?” Sansa asks. 

_“and I miss you, Sansa.”_

Sansa smiles and a happy tear rolls down her cheek. Men like Harry are rare, she knows that. She knows they’ll talk more about it, but she knows that once the get through this her transgression will never be thrown back at her, he will never use it as ammunition or as an excuse for bad behaviour. 

“I miss you too, and I love you.” 

_“Good, I expect you at the airport with a cardboard sign waiting for me.” Sansa can hear through his voice he is smiling._

Sansa laughs and they talk for a long time that night. Harry fills Sansa in on everything that’s been going at home and sends pictures to her laptop. They talk about what he can expect when he gets here, she goes into more detail than she ever has about her family. Warns him to be careful of Arya’s jabs, warns him the Ygritte will try to make him thoroughly uncomfortable with her sexuality. 

Just as they hang up, the front door slams open. “Dad!” She hears Robb’s voice boom. 

Sansa comes out from the kitchen, just as Cat and Ned enter from the family room. Robb, along with Theon and Sandor, is standing in the doorway, and they look pissed. 

“What is it? “Ned asks quickly. 

Robb looks at Sandor and back to Ned, “We’ve got a problem, a big one.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? Comments? 
> 
> Say hi on tumblr: meaganfence


	7. Enough

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the _family_ deals with a crisis, Sansa prepares for Harry's arrival. His introduction to Sansa's past life is more dramatic than anyone had expected.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> I wouldn't call this chapter a _filler_ , I needed to get Harry here and have him introduced to where Sansa's came from so he can understand her a little bit more. That being said, I didn't want to spend a ton of time focusing on the two days but needed certain events to happen.  
> Anddd, the reason I didn't want to spend much time is because Chapter 8 is massive. We have the wedding and some serious advancements to the plot line! Just going to say it now, this is where it gets good!  
> But, enjoy this chapter!

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/618514148014292992/beautifully-unfinished)

Within 30 minutes the clubhouse is full of all the members. There was an attack on one of their warehouses, two of their own killed in the crossfire. 

“How the fuck did they get past the security system, that place was supposed to be locked down” Ned asks, he is pissed. Shit like this can’t happen. Ever. “Who the fuck was it?” 

Tormund stands up, “We have no confirmation on who ordered the hit, possibly the Targaryen’s. But we don’t know.” The group loudly begins to chatter about revenge, and retribution. 

“Enough!” Booms Ned, “we do nothing until we know for sure, I am not starting a war over possibilities.” 

“They, uh. They left a message.” Sam pipes up. Sam isn’t your typical mobster. He short and stalky, a little awkward, lacks confidence but he’s the best analyst they have. 

Jon can feel certain members roll their eyes, some members of the crew don’t give Sam the respect her deserve. “What was the message, Sam?” 

“They uh, they encrypted it into our servers when they hacked the security system.” Sam pulls a piece of paper from his jacket pocket. “We will be seeing each other very, very soon.” 

Jon’s blood turns to ice. He’s heard those words before, he knows it. 

“What kind of cunt leaves a message like that?” Sandor grunts. “What the bloody fuck does that even mean.” 

_Sansa._

“It’s the Bolton’s, it’s Ramsey.” Jon bites, that’s what Ramsey had said to her at the bar before Jon threatened him. 

Ned looks at Jon, “what? How do you know it’s the Bolton’s?” The Bolton’s were an old mob family, but until recently had been an embarrassment to the career, very mediocre. Recently though they’ve been getting more brazen, ever since Roose’s bastard son joined their ranks. Everyone knew this kid was fucked, only getting into the business to cause physical pain and psychological torture. 

Jon stands, “It’s because of Sansa.” Before he can continue Robb cuts him off. 

“What the fuck do you mean its because of Sansa? She’s never even met him.” Robb is worried, the tone in his voice gives him away. Ramsey is like an attack dog on the loose, once he sets his sights on a target its game over. 

“He has, at the Brotherhood on Saturday night. He was aggressive towards her at the bar, I walked into the middle of it.” 

Theon immediately jumps to his feet, “What the fuck do you mean he was at the bar? We were all there, why the fuck didn’t you say anything.” 

Jon’s pissed, “because I fucking handled it mate, you think if you guys had jumped him his retaliation wouldn’t have been even worse then this?” _Also I was too busy trying to finger fuck Sansa on the patio to care._

Ned’s eyes are narrowed and dark, worry washing over his features, “If this is because he’s got his sick fucking sights on Sansa, we end this. Right now. Quickly and quietly.” 

Everyone agrees, Ned looks directly at Jon and then Robb, “we don’t tell her. She doesn’t need to know because we’re fucking handling it. She doesn’t need to be scared.” 

“Dad, do you think that’s a good call? If she finds out, and knows we hid it from her, she’ll be fucking pissed.” Robb asks, scratching the back of his neck. 

“We only tell her if we can’t handle it, otherwise we say nothing.” Ned’s word is final, he is the boss, and no one would dare cross him. 

\---

After Robb, Theon and Sandor had come to the house last night, Winterfell became a zoo. Ned had immediately had extra guards put on the property, and every available member was coming to the meeting. Sansa didn’t know what had happened, but she knew it must be bad considering the response. 

She didn’t want to know, the thought of people she loved in danger, real danger, it was enough to make her sick. She didn’t _need_ to know. It wasn’t her business anymore. It wasn’t her life. 

By the time she woke up the next and got ready to head to the airport for Harry’s arrival it was like nothing had happened last night. Besides the additional guards, no one spoke of it. Part of her was envious that they could adapt themselves so easy to the danger. Another part of her could see how totally unhealthy that was, to be able to ignore the danger right in front of them all. 

When Sansa entered the kitchen Sandor was already there, she had given into her fathers demands and agreed to take a driver with her to the airport but only if it was Sandor. Sandor had met Harry a few times and she knew they wouldn’t have to sensor their conversations with him around. 

“Good Morning, Little Bird. You almost ready to go?” Sandor stands, handing her a Starbucks he had picked up for her on the way over. 

They talk on the way to the airport about Harry, home, more about Sansa’s job which Sandor seems surprisingly interested in. She has always valued her friendship with Sandor, more so over the last 6 years. 

“You excited to see Mr.” Sansa shoots him a side glance, “Harry.” 

Sansa laughs, “I am. I’m nervous, about him meeting everyone. All it takes is one slip, you know,” she shrugs.” 

“You’ve done good so far, Sansa. Five more days, and things will be so busy with the wedding, it’ll be a piece of cake.” 

“You don’t really believe that.” 

He laughs, “No I don’t, but it will be fine.” He smiles, “We’re here.” 

Sansa is impatiently waiting for Harry at the gate, cardboard sign in hand. People have begun coming out of the terminal, she’s always loved airports. There is something so beautiful about watching the reactions of people greeting their loves ones. 

A loud whistle draws Sansa’s attention to the far side of the gate, _Harry_. Sansa beams and rushes towards him. He drops his bag and lifts her with ease, spinning her around. “You’re here,” she breathes. 

“I’m here.” He sets her down and kisses her before noticing Sandor, he extends his hand, “Sandor, good to see you again.” 

Sandor shakes his hand, “you too.” 

He looks at Sansa, “I didn’t realize we needed a chaperone.” 

She groans, “don’t even get me started, it’s safer this way. With the family.” 

“Ahh, okay. Well, shall we?” Harry picks up his bag and they follow Sandor towards the parking garage. 

Sansa won’t let go of Harry’s hand; she really has missed him. He looks good, as always. His sports jacket and aviator sunglasses hanging from his collar. Her life will be good, with him, he loves her. They have a good life, hell they have a great life. That’s enough. It has to be enough. She has everything most people dream of, and for her its just shy of everything. 

“So, just so we’re clear. Your dad and Sandor?” Harry breaks into her thoughts. She knows what he is asking. 

“yes, that’s it.” 

By the time they have made it back to Winterfell, Harry has happily filled Sansa in on everything happening back home and Sansa has happily chatted his ear off about the wedding and when they pull through the gates, Harry’s jaw drops. 

“Holy crap, I know you said it was huge but... wow.” Harry exclaims. Harry is a doctor, not exactly hard done by, but Sansa knows the shock of seeing Winterfell for the first time. It’s not even a house, its basically a compound, though the main house is massive. 

Sansa snickers and pats him on the knee, “I know, baby. Don’t worry I’ll draw you a map” She grins at him. 

He puts his hand on the back of her neck and drags her towards him, “Cheeky Girl,” he basically growls. 

“Hey now, none of that.” Sandor mutters, though Sansa can hear the slight amusement in his voice. “Keep it in your pants for 30 seconds” 

Sandor parks the car and gets out, grabbing Harry’s bag out of the trunk. Sansa gives Harry one last look, “ready?”. 

“Ready.” 

Sansa exits with Harry following, Ned and Catelyn standing on the porch, _They must have locked the wolves in the kitchen._ Sansa knows everyone is extremely curious to meet the infamous Harry, she wouldn’t have been surprised if they pounced on him the minute he arrived. 

Ned walks over, “Harry, glad you could make it!” He extends his hand and pats Harry on the back. 

“Good to see you again, sir.” Ned scowls and Harry laughs, “sorry, Ned.” 

Ned nods, “Better, Harry can I introduce you to my wife, Catelyn.” 

Harry extends out his hand, “It’s great to finally meet you, Sansa has told me so much about you.” 

Catelyn smiles and pulls Harry in for a little hug, “It’s great to finally meet you, I’m sorry its taken so long. Welcome to Winterfell.” 

Ned gestures to the house, “shall we? The rest of them are all inside and Cat’s prepared lunch.” 

Sansa looks up at Harry and grins, harry laughs and nods, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

The introductions went smoother than Sansa had expected, not that she expected anyone to be outwardly rude she just knew there was some tension. Bringing home the man you’ve been with for four years, that no one has met. It’s not exactly usual. 

Sansa, having felt confident enough to leave Harry’s side, was in the kitchen with Arya helping Cat prepare the food, watching as Robb handed Harry a beer, both laughing at something Gendry said. It felt like a normal family barbeque. 

Except for the fact that Sansa could see Harry glancing at the guards on the perimeters and she could tell it made him anxious. Having guards join you for a Tuesday lunch wasn’t something he was used to, it wasn’t really something most people were used to. Unless you were a Stark. 

Sansa watches as Robb pats Harry on the back and turns to come into the kitchen, passing Catelyn and Arya on their way out. He comes over and grabs a carrot that Sansa is chopping, she swats his hand out of the way and he laughs. 

“he’s an alright guy, Sans.” 

She looks up at him and smiles, “He is.” 

Robb nods but his face somber, “I know it’s not easy, being here again. With Jon. Just, he’s a good guy.” 

Sansa knows exactly what Robb is trying to say, he’s telling her not to be an asshole, not to get involved with Jon unless she planned on letting Harry go. _If only you knew, Robb._ Sansa nods, but looks down ashamed. 

The rest of the night passes without incident, lunch turned into dinner, which turned into drinks around the fire. Sansa watched as her brothers got on with Harry, she knew Harry was amused with Rickon’s scrappy behavior, and he took every jab Arya threw at him and usually had a quirky rebuttal. It felt like a normal family gathering. 

_Snap out of it, Sansa._ She could not to get attached to this, despite them getting along this was never going to happen again. Their life couldn’t exist here, everything that was currently happening was based on lies. Lies about their relationship, their lives in Essos. It was an act for her family, all of it. 

Suddenly the day just felt exhausting, and Sansa was tired. Tired of lying, tired of thinking 5 sentences a head to make sure she didn’t say the wrong thing, listening to everything Harry says to make sure he hasn’t slipped. It’s all just bloody exhausting, more exhausting with Harry here because thy asked more questions. 

Sansa leans in Harry, “babe, I’m getting pretty tired, want to head in for the night?” 

He’s confused by her sudden want to leave, but nods. They stand and say goodnight to everyone before heading inside. “You did good tonight, babe.” He whispers as they head up the stairs. 

She smiles at him, “You too.” 

\---

The next morning Sansa took Harry into town to pick up the suits she ordered him. Margaery had insisted the families and wedding party come to the resort in Riverrun 2 days before the wedding. Friday was the rehearsal dinner, but Robb and Margaery wanted everyone together on Thursday night. 

Ned had insisted Sandor join them, which was odd since normally he only insisted when Sansa would be alone. She could tell Harry was confused and a little annoyed about having a shadow, but Sansa told him it was basically a requirement at this point. “You try going toe to toe with my dad about it, if you want. But I promise you’ll lose” 

Sandor had been tense the whole time, even when they hit the gym, which was basically Sandor’s second home. He was on edge and increasingly more aggravated than usual. When Harry was trying on the suit, she took a moment to talk to Sandor. “What’s wrong with you today?” She asked. 

He grunted, “Don’t like shopping.” 

“Bullshit, you’ve been snappy all day.” 

He rolls his eyes, “knew we’d be going shopping.” 

Sansa nudged him with her elbow, annoyed. “Stop, I know when you’re lying to me. What’s going on.” 

Sandor sighs, and looks down at her. “Don’t worry about it, Little Bird. Everything is fine.” 

“It’s about Monday night, isn’t it?” 

“Sansa, don’t worry about it. It’s uncontrol.” 

Sansa sighs and tuned back to Harry who had just come out of the dressing room, giving him her approval on the suit. Something was going on, clearly something made them uneasy because Sandor was acting like he was ready to pounce on anything that moved. On one hand, she felt safe knowing he was on high alert. On the other hand, she had a sinking feeling that if he was this stressed with her that’s because it had something to do _with her_. Being in danger wasn’t something Sansa was accustom to anymore, people counted on her to be around and now having Harry here, with her, it put him in danger too. 

As if Sandor was sensing her mental tailspin he leaned down, “Sansa, everything is fine. Don’t worry.” It didn’t really help calm her nerves, but she appreciated his efforts. Right now she just wanted to be safe and head home. It was getting later in the day anyways and mom had planned dinner. 

Harry emerged from the dressing room and she walked over, “Ready to go back?” he nods, taking her hand and thanking the clerk before leaving the store. 

By the time they had returned home, the house was eerily quiet. Arya was home, but Rickon and Gendry were gone. Sandor had brought them back and immediately left as well. 

Sansa went over to Arya, who was outside on her phone. “No Gendry tonight?” 

Arya shrugged, “business tonight apparently, where’s Harry? 

“Hmm, no Ric either, and he just wanted to grab a quick shower before dinner.” Sansa paused, looking at Arya warily. “Do you know what’s going on, Arya?” 

Just as Arya was about to answer, Harry and Catelyn came out back with dinner. Ned followed shortly after, though he looked preoccupied. 

Sansa decided to just let it go, whatever it was she really didn’t want to know. She had spent the last 6 years without worrying what they were doing, or what was going to happen. She couldn’t help that is caused her anxiety, she’d seen some bad stuff happen on their “jobs”, but she just needed to push it aside for right now. 

\---

They had just finished dinner when Ned’s phone rang, he answered immediately, which he never does at dinner. Sansa knew that a call meant bad news, otherwise someone would have texted him with an update. “What’s happened” he grounds out. 

Everyone at the table has stopped and everything is still. Ned stands, “no, no hospitals. Bring him here. How are far out are you.” 

Sansa looks at Arya, who has stood and started to follow Ned into the house. The rest of them do the same. 

“Dad, is it Gendry?” Arya asks, the worry clear in her voice as it hitches slightly. 

Ned stops and turn, shaking his head. “No, no Gendry is fine.” He turns to Sansa, “Sansa, go upstairs, take Harry with you.” 

Sansa narrows her eyes, “What, why?” _Is it Jon?_ She wants to ask. 

“You don’t want to be a part of this, it’s why you left. Harry doesn’t need to risk-” he is cut of by the front doors slamming open. 

“Dad!” Robb and Tormund burst into the kitchen. Jon and Gendry behind them, both supporting a half-conscious Theon. Sansa instantly sees the blood through his shirt, he’s been shot. Catelyn has grabbed a tablecloth from the pantry and places it on the island, indicating for Jon and Gendry to lay him down.” 

“What the hell happened!” Ned barks. 

“It’s a through and through far as I can tell.” Tormund says as he comes over. 

“It was fucked, Dad. It’s like he knew we were coming. He was waiting.” Robb sighs. 

Sandor comes rushing into the kitchen, “Benjen is on his way, won’t be here for at least 40 minutes though.” 

Benjen was Sansa’s uncle, he was a makeshift surgeon in the army when he was younger and has become the unofficial family doctor. He’s not very skilled, but he can handle bullet wounds and knife attacks. They use him to limit exposure to the hospitals, since all bullet wounds need to be reported. 

Gendry straightens, “He’s losing a lot of blood.” 

Sansa looks at Harry, who rolls his shoulders before turning to her. “Sansa, go get my travel bag from my suitcase.” Everyone turns to him, Sansa knows what he is asking for. 

“No!” Sansa cries, “Absolutely not!” She looks at Robb, Jon, Gendry. All of them are looking at her, at them. She points, “you do not get to drag him into this!” 

Jon sighs, “Sansa, we don’t have a choice.” 

She looks at Sandor, “Is this why you were so on edge today, because of this shit? Who was the target?” 

Sandor doesn’t look at her, she looks at Jon and arches her eyebrows. He exhales, “Bolton’s” 

Harry turns to her and grabs her shoulders, “Sansa, I can’t stand here and do nothing.” Theon groans from the island. “Please, Sansa. Go upstairs and get my bag.” 

Sansa shakes her head, eyes filled with angry tears. “No, Harry its illegal. You could lose you license!” 

“Harry sighs, frustrated. “Sansa-” 

“No, stop. He can wait. You’re not getting involved in this.” 

“Sansa!” Harry barks, “Bag, now!” He immediately moves past her, rolling up his sleeves and heading over to Theon. 

Sansa runs upstairs and grabs his travel bag from his suitcase, she knows he keeps an emergency medical kit in it. She hears Theon scream from the kitchen and rushes down the stairs.” 

\---

Sansa walks down to the clubhouse after bringing Harry his bag. There was already so much blood and no pain killers, she couldn’t stand to listening to Theon’s pain any longer and had to get out of the house. She sits on the porch steps, knees brought up to her chest with her chin resting on her crossed arms. 

She sees Jon coming up the path from the water, she raises her head, “Why the Bolton’s, Jon?” 

Jon stops, having not noticed her before, he comes over and sits beside her. “Let it go, Sansa.” 

“No, why the Bolton’s, is it because of Ramsey? Is it because of the bar? 

“We didn’t hit a family because some fuck tried to hit on you at a bar, Sansa. Ramsey targeted the warehouse on Monday. That’s what happened, and he left a message.” 

Sansa swallows, “what was the message?” She knew earlier this was somehow connected to her; she could tell by Sandor’s behavior. 

Jon exhales, “It doesn’t matter, Sansa. We’re handling it.” 

Sansa rolls her eyes, beyond frustrated. “Clearly, considering Theon is currently shot.” Jon shoots her a look, and Sansa stares right back. Never one to back down. She doesn’t relish the idea of being “in the loop” but people keeping her in the dark doesn’t help either. It makes her nervous that Ramsey has so many people on edge, why was one man such a threat? 

Jon looks at her, “Does he know about me? Harry?” 

Sansa shakes her head, “he knows _about_ you, but he doesn’t know who you are. I never told him your name.” 

“What did you tell him?” 

Before Sansa can answer they hear someone walking over to them. Her head shoots up to see Harry walking towards them, he’s changed into track pants and a sweater, his other clothes most definitely covered in Theon’s blood. 

Jon stands, Sansa can tell he’s on edge and not just because of what happened tonight. She watches as his jaw ticks looking at Harry, his hand flinches at his side and she knows he’s resisting the urge to touch her, like he used to when he felt jealous or threatened. 

Harry extends his hand out, “We didn’t get properly introduced, I’m Harry” 

Jon’s eyes narrow slightly, before he takes Harry’s hand and shakes it, “Jon.” Harry nods in reply and looks at Sansa. 

“Is he okay?” Jon asks, trying to control the bite to his voice.” 

Harry nods, “he’s going to be fine. Sansa, can I speak with you?” 

Sansa shakes her head and looks to Jon waving goodbye. Harry sits down beside Sansa, stretching out his back before turning to look at her. 

“I’m sorry, for snapping at you.” 

Sansa huffs out a laugh, “I’m sorry for bringing you here, you should have never been put in that position.” _Definitely never because of me_. 

Harry shrugs, neither knows what to say, there really isn’t anything to say. Instead they sit in silence, listening to the waves from the shore down the lane, letting the disaster of tonight wash over them. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thoughts, comments
> 
> Say hi on tumblr : meaganfence


	8. He knows

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Stark family heads to Riverrun for Robb and Margaery's wedding, 3 days at a resort with Jon and Harry. What could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!  
> This is a **monster** chapter for me. I knew I wanted it to end where it ended, but no where else felt like a good place to split it into two chapter.  
> Also, warning (I don't love doing this because I feel like it gives it away BUT) if you have an issue with ANY of the tags listed above, I would suggest skipping the last third of this chapter and just going straight to that end.  
> I also stand by every decision I've made here

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/618514148014292992/beautifully-unfinished)

Sansa stretched as she got out of the car, the drive to Riverrun felt especially long today and they hadn’t stopped to stretch the entire drive. She raised her hands above her head stretching out her back as Harry came around the other side of the vehicle. “Wow, this place is beautiful.” 

Sansa looked at the resort, it truly was stunning, Robb and Margaery would be married in the godswood on the property and the reception was being held in the ballroom. The resort itself was built within the walls of old castle ruins, it was an elegant mix of old and new. 

“Isn’t it? Wait until you see the rooms, oh and the pool!” Gendry patted Harry on the shoulder, him and Arya had driven up with them. The boys seeming to get on great, Gendry is the most like Harry, solid and dependable, good. Well, except for the Gendry being a mobster part. 

“Let’s check in, I wonder if the others are here yet?” Arya asked as the four of them headed inside. 

Sansa smiled and shrugged, trying to hide her nerves of the others, mainly Jon, arriving. Tonight was basically one last chance for a party, Margaery usually took any opportunity she got, while tomorrow’s rehearsal dinner was much classier, tonight they had reserved the entire cabana. 

Which meant drinks, and all their old friends, and it would basically be impossible to avoid any interaction between Jon and Harry. Everyone by this point assumed Harry didn’t know who Jon was, others have asked, and Margaery had politely told people to just zip it when it came to Sansa and Jon’s past. 

_Speak of the devil_. As they entered the lobby, Sansa immediately saw Jon standing with Ygritte, Tormund and Jeyne. Theon was adamant about coming and Harry cleared him, if he took it easy and rested until the wedding. It was a through and through, but there was some muscle damage and stiches. 

As they approached Sansa could see Jon looking at her, though he tried to keep it casual to avoid Harry noticing, he was trying to be respectful of him at least. She could tell he was on edge and was sure it was because of Harry. 

When they got to the others, Tormund extended his hand to Harry. “Hey, Doc. We didn’t get a chance to meet the other night, Tormund. This is Ygritte, she’s with me, I guess we both like them touched by fire, huh?” 

Harry laughed and shook Tormund’s hand, “Apparently, nice to meet you but you can call me Harry.” He turned to Jeyne, “How’s Theon.” 

She smiled, “he’s fine. Resting, kind of. But we aren’t together.” 

“Ha! To hell you aren’t, you may not have fucked him but you’re together” Ygritte laughed, not giving a care in the world who heard her. Harry looked a little stunned by her outburst but recovered well. 

“Really, Yrig. Can you control yourself at all?” Jon groaned. He looked at Harry a gave a single nod, “Harry.” 

“Jon, good to see you again.” 

_Well, this is fucking awkward._ Sansa thinks as she returned from getting them checked in. “Should we head up? Get rid of our bags? What time does this thing start tonight?” 

Jeyne smiled, “4, although dinner apparently isn’t until 6. I think Margaery just wants us all drunk by then.” 

Harry looked at Sansa and winked, “Plenty of time for a nap, let’s go.” 

Sansa gave a nervous laugh and dared a look at Jon, who was basically biting his cheek to stop himself from growling. She shook it off and headed up with Harry, she knew what Harry had meant by nap, hell they _all_ knew what Harry meant. 

\--- 

Sansa and Harry didn’t make it down to the party until almost 5, Harry being unwilling to let Sansa out of bed until they absolutely had to start getting ready.

“Well, well, well. Look who finally made it to the party.” Ygritte said as she came up behind Harry and Sansa, it was well past five. “Guess lover boy here is good for a few rounds, huh?” 

Sansa blushed and swore she saw Harry’s chest puff out, “Ygritte, really.” 

“What, it’s a compliment really.” Ygritte laughed. “Now, Mr. Stamina, do you mind if I steal our Sansa for a moment.” 

Harry grabbed Sansa’s hand and kissed it, and looked at Ygritte, “Of course, just try to bring her back in one piece, yeah? Or at the very least conscious” 

Ygritte immediately grabbed Sansa and started pulling her away and shouted over her shoulder, “I make no promises, Stamina!” 

Sansa laughed and she playfully swatted Ygritte on the shoulder, “Really Ygritte, must you always cause such a scene?” 

“Oh please, Sansa. It’s not like it’s a bad thing.” Ygritte spun Sansa towards the bar and whispered, “Plus I made sure Jon could hear me.” Sansa quickly moved her eyes to Ygritte, glaring at her. Ygritte winked. 

“You can’t do that Ygritte, there’s no game here. I don’t need to make Jon jealous. I don’t want to.” 

Before Ygritte could defend herself, Margaery was throwing an arm over each of them. “Hello, my darlings. Sansa, we were worried you weren’t coming.” Sansa sheepishly looked away, about to apologize before Margaery waved her hand in her face, “Don’t worry about it dear, if you have to miss a party, sex is a pretty good excuse.” 

Sansa and Margaery both laughed as they head towards the cabana, Ygritte followed behind them mumbling, “why is it okay when she is crude?” 

“I heard that!” Margaery shouted behind her. 

“I meant you too,” Ygritte teased back. 

\--- 

Jon watched as Sansa and Harry _finally_ joined the party. He felt sick to him stomach thinking about him kissing her, touching her, _fucking_ her. Even though he hated it he made a promise to himself and a promise to Sansa to not fuck shit up for her, and he would do everything in his power to keep that promise. 

It’s not like Harry was a bad guy, he was good, but he struggled to understand why Sansa would be happy with him. Although she loathes to admit it, Sansa craved their unhinged passion as much as he did, at least she used to. Harry didn’t seem like the type that would be that guy for her. 

Sansa, of course, looked radiant. Besides her he had never met another woman who could be so effortlessly beautiful. He watched her be whisked off by Margaery to her old group of friends, he watched as she laughed, the way she would toss her hair over her shoulder. It took every ounce of control he had not to go to her, and grab her, and kiss her. 

Jon turned back to the bar and raised a finger to the bartender, “Another scotch. Neat.” If he was going to get through tonight, and the rest of this weekend, he needed something to take the edge off. 

Just as the bartender handed him his drink, he felt someone come up beside him, “Make that two. Please.” _Harry_

Jon rested his forearms on the bar but turned to face Harry. “Hey, enjoying the party?” 

Harry nodded and turned, leaning against the bar looking out. “I am, a little larger and a little crazier than we’re used to back home but it’s quite the affair.” _Then we’re used to_. Jon tightened his hand around his glass and turned to mirror Harry’s body language. 

“That’s Margaery for you, Robb would’ve been just as happy going to city hall.” Jon chuckled, to be honest Robb would have probably preferred city hall. “But he’ll do anything to make her happy.” 

Harry hummed his gaze moving to Sansa, “I know the feeling. So, how well do you know Sansa?” Harry turned and looked at Jon. 

Jon narrowed his eyes, “I’ve known Sansa a long time, I’m Robb’s best friend. She’s, she’s like family.” _She was my family, her and I were supposed to be a family._

Harry excused himself and headed off towards Sandor and Robb slid in beside Jon. “You handled that better than I expected.” 

John sipped his scotch and grunted, “Were you watching us?” A hint of amusement in his voice. 

Robb laughed, “I just wanted to be sure you didn’t punch him in the face.” 

Jon sighed, and looked at Robb. “I wouldn’t do that to her, you know that.” 

Robb put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, “I know. Come on, let’s go find Tormund before he ends up wasted and throwing up in a potted plant.” Jon barked out a laugh and followed Robb. 

\--- 

The remainder of the night went by, with some miracle of the seven, quite smoothly. Jon and Harry had managed to avoid each other for the rest of the evening, Tormund did end up throwing up in a potted plant halfway through the night and Ygritte had taken him back to their room. 

Just as the night was winding down, with most of the guests gone, the last of the group was hanging out by the bar. Sansa looked around, Robb had a very tired looking Margaery sitting on his lap in the stool, she looked exhausted but happy. Arya and Gendry were bickering about something, both sufficiently plastered before Gendry shut her up by grabbing the back of her neck and kissing her. 

Jon whistled and laughed at the two, as Gendry started to drag Arya towards the elevators. Robb sat up a little straighter and shouted, “hey, that’s my sister!” 

A loud crash from the other side of the pool drew their attention. Theon, who was wasted and more than likely stoned on pain killers had fallen over a lounge chair. 

Both Robb and Jon instantly kneeled over in laughter, Jeyne put her hand over her eyes and groaned, “Gods, what the hell is he doing?” 

“I decided I’m better, I didn’t want to miss the party!” Theon slurred as he made his way over to the group. Draping his arm over Jeyne as he stumbled. 

Margaery stood and took Robb’s hand, “Alright babe, this is where we say good night.” 

“What now? The life of the party just got here!” Robb had tears in his eyes from laughing at how wrecked Theon looked. 

Margaery arched her very elegant eyebrows and seductively said, “Robb, I want to go up to our room.” 

Robb, being utterly clueless and far too interested in Theon attempting to stand up without knocking poor Jeyne over, completely missed the inuendo in her voice. “Let’s just stay and have another drink and” 

Jon put his hand on Robb’s shoulder and leaned over. He quietly said, “Robb, mate. Pretty sure your soon to be wife is asking you to take her upstairs and fuck her senseless. In case you missed it.” 

Robb’s face lit up, breaking out into a huge shit eating grin. Margaery smiled demurely, “Thank you Jonathon Snow. Robb, would you like to go upstairs now?” 

Like an eager puppy, Robb leaped from the chair. “Yes, please!” 

Theon enthusiastically fist pumped in the air and shouted, “Go get her, wolf boy.” His face turned into pure agony as his arm instantly dropped. “Fuck!” Theon groaned, “Doctor Harry, I think I may have ripped a stitch.” 

Jeyne rolled her eyes as Harry set his drink down and came over to Sansa. “I’m going to take him upstairs and stitch him up, I’ll meet you in our room?” 

Sansa smiled and nodded, “I’ll meet you there.” Harry gave her a chaste kiss before helping Jeyne get Theon upstairs. Leaving Sansa and Jon as the only two left.” 

Sansa cleared her throat and looked at Jon, who was smirking in the direction of Theon. “Well, I guess I should head upstairs.” 

Jon turned his attention to Sansa and looked at her skeptically, “You still have half a drink, Sansa.” He smirked, “worried about spending 5 minutes alone with me? I think you’ve got some time; I don’t see Theon being Harry’s most cooperative patient.” 

Sansa chuckled and looked back towards the elevators to see Theon desperately trying to get back to the cabana as they waited for the elevator, “No, I don’t suppose he will be. Regardless, I am drunk, you are drunk, and I should get back to my room.” 

Jon hummed in response, “Yes, because we both know us drunk at a bar doesn’t end well.” 

Sansa sighed and tiled her head, “Jon, please.” 

Jon stood, placing his drink on the bar. He stood slightly behind Sansa off to the side and whispered in her ear, “You’re right, you should go. But, Sansa? Don’t fuck him tonight.” 

Sansa spun and narrowed her eyes, “Excuse me?” 

Jon grinned and walked past her, stopping at her side, his voice deep and commanding. “You heard me. Don’t. Fuck. Him. Tonight.” His thumb gently rubbed her forearm and Sansa couldn’t stop as her body trembled. “Goodnight, Sansa.” 

Sansa didn’t turn around until she was sure Jon would be on the elevator. Sansa closed her eyes and took a deep breath before finishing her drink in one sip and heading upstairs to their room. 

Later that night, when Harry finally made it back Sansa pretended to be asleep when he checked to see if she was awake. Being the gentleman that he was, Harry turned with his back towards her and fell asleep. Sansa opened her eyes and didn’t fall asleep for a while, thinking about Jon’s voice and the way her body trembled when he touched her. 

\--- 

Sansa and Harry were jolted awake by a banging on the door, sunlight was streaming in from the windows, so it had to be morning. “What the hell is going on?” asked Harry as he got out of bed. Sansa turned her phone over and checked the time, 7:15am. She groaned and checked to see that she had 13 texts messages and 6 missed calls from Margaery, she hadn’t realized her phone was on silent. 

_Bang. Bang. Bang._ “Sansa! Sansa get up right now, I need you!” Margaery shouted from the hall. Harry opened the door and Margaery immediately burst in. “Sansa, finally!!” 

Harry groaned and closed the door Margaery had swung open, “If everything is okay, I’m going to shower.” 

Margaery turned to him, “Everything is definitely not fine, but I don’t need you. Go shower, handsome.” 

Sansa looked at Harry who gestured “what’s going on”, Sansa shrugged and turned to Margaery. “What’s wrong?” 

“My cousin got called in for an emergency work trip!” Margaery moaned. 

Sansa was confused, “uhm okay, and?” Margaery looked completely stressed, which doesn’t usually happen to her. She is generally a very go with the flow, let things happen as they happen sort of girl, but today she looked completely out of control. 

“She was my fourth bridesmaid! And she’s not going to be here! Which means our sides will be completely uneven!” Margaery exclaimed, she looked at Sansa as if she had two heads for not understanding. “You need to fill in for her!” 

Sansa stuttered, “Wh, what??? I need to what?” That was not what Sansa was expecting, obviously if Sansa hadn’t left, she probably would have been her maid of honour, but it was 24 hours until the wedding, Sansa had no dress. It wasn’t possible. 

Margaery huffed, “Sansa, you neeeed to fill in for her! We both know you should’ve been in the wedding party anyways, but you weren’t here. I need you to fill in!” 

“I don’t have a dress, Margaery. Or shoes, or, what?” Sansa was very tired, she hadn’t fallen asleep until well past 3 in the morning, and she hadn’t had any coffee yet. 

“My cousin is ordering the dress to be delivered by courier, it is already on its way. She is at least one dress size larger than you, but I have my tailor here anyways just in case I needed her. I told her I would pay her triple if she can have the dress altered for you by tomorrow morning!” Margaery looked at her with wide eyes begging her to just agree. 

Sansa rubbed her eyes, still half asleep. “Yes, Margaery. Of course.” 

Margaery squealed and hugged Sansa, “Great! You’re going to be busy today, we have lots to do! Spa appointments, hair, the works. Can you be at my room by 9? We’ll start getting your measurements. Also, you’ll need to be at the head table for tonight’s rehearsal dinner.” 

Sansa stood and made her way to the kitchenette as Margaery continued to ramble the list of things Sansa now needed to do today, what she really needed right now was coffee. She had been looking forward to relaxing around the pool today with Harry, it is not very often they get to enjoy a trip like this. 

Margaery continued to talk as Sansa sat on the sofa with her coffee, once she was satisfied that Sansa had all the information she needed she left and told Sansa she would see her in an hour. Sansa groaned and let her head fall forward. It’s not that she wasn’t excited to be a part of the wedding, she was, she should have been a part of it from the start. It’s just the very quick change of schedule that Sansa had to wrap her head around. 

Harry came out the shower with a towel around his hips, Sansa smiled, “There’s coffee” 

Harry made his way over to the coffee maker, “Thanks, so what was that all about.” He turned and leaned against the countertop. _Damn, he looks good_. 

“Ugh, Margaery’s cousin, who’s in her wedding party, can’t make it anymore. Some emergency, so I am filling in.” 

Harry furrowed his brows, “Filling in? Filling in for what?” 

“I’m going to be a bridesmaid.” Sansa said ironically and Harry barked out a laugh. “It’s not funny, I have to go shower, Margaery is going to keep me busy all day. I’m sorry, do you think you can manage by yourself?” Sansa gets up and starts walking towards the bathroom to shower. 

“Hey hey hey,” Harry’s arm snaked around Sansa’s waist, pulling her to him. “It’s fine, it’ll be good for you to be in the wedding and I’ll be fine. I was looking forward to spending some time with you today though,” he gently nipped at Sansa’s shoulder. 

Sansa sighed but pushed away from Harry, “I’m so sorry babe. I really don’t have time, I have less than 45 minutes to be at Margaery’s.” Harry sighed but smacked her ass and gestured her off.” 

As Sansa started the shower, she heard Jon’s voice repeated in her head. _Don’t. Fuck. Him_ Sansa growled and slammed both hands on the counter, what the fuck was she doing? 

\---

The rest of the day was a complete blur for Sansa, as promised Margaery had kept her busy all day and Sansa had enjoyed getting to spend these important moments with her friends. She knew that, despite everything, Margaery and Robb had such happiness to look forward to and even though Margaery had turned into a bit of a bridezilla with this wedding, really all that mattered to her was Robb. 

Sansa watched as they gave their speech after the rehearsal dinner, thanking their friends and family for being here with them, celebrating one last time before the big day. She watched Robb constantly glance down at Margaery and watched as she rubbed Robb’s lower back. They were so in tune with each other and Sansa missed that. 

Not that her and Harry aren’t, they are, and they have a great connection, but they lack passion. The passion that Robb and Margaery have, the passion that she had with Jon, which was more consuming than most. Not that passion made their relationship easier, not having that level of fire made her relationship with Harry easier and less tumultuous but sometimes she missed having it. Missed having the unrestrained pull towards someone, missed the heat. 

As they wrapped up their speech, Sansa glanced at the table where Harry sat with her parents, she watched as he paid attention to the speech, laughed at the jokes, smiled when he was supposed to, clapped when it finished. _Always so polite, so proper._ Then she chanced at glance at Jon, she knew she shouldn’t, but she couldn’t stop herself. He was on the opposite side of the head table, head angled towards the couple, to anyone watching he looked like the most attentive guest. Except, his eyes were fixed on her. The same pull that Sansa had to him, he had to her, only she was able to control it a little better. 

Sansa ripped away from the gaze and back to Margaery when they finished thanking everyone, Sansa clapped appropriately and instantly rose when it was acceptable. God, she needed a drink, and not the champagne sitting in front of her. As she waited by the bar, she felt someone come up beside her and closed her eyes. “Jon,” she warned. 

Jon smirked and gestured to the bartender. “Scotch, neat.” He glanced at Sansa, “make it two.” When the bartender handed Jon the drinks, Jon passed Sansa hers. “Figured you would need something a little stronger tonight.” 

Sansa shook her head, _How did he always know, it’s like he can read my mind and I hate it._ Sansa said nothing but slowly turned, with every intention of leaving. 

Jon leaned down into her, slightly enough that most people wouldn’t notice, and his hand lightly grazed her side. “You seem tense tonight, Sansa. Hmm, definitely not relaxed...” He smirked at her, “it means you did what I asked, good girl.” He gave her hip bone a light squeeze, walked away and Sansa was furious. 

She wanted to be the one to walk away, to show him that she meant what she said, that what happened will never happen again. But then he says that and just fucking leaves? She was furious that he knew, more furious that she listened. All she wanted to do was grab Harry, and go upstairs and have mind blowing sex, to prove a point to Jon. _What the fuck is wrong with you._ She couldn’t even disobey Jon tonight, because she would be spending the night in the bridal suite with Margaery and the other bridesmaids. 

“You look flustered, Sister.” Sansa turned to see Rickon beside her. She smiled, he looked so grown up in his suit. 

“I’m fine.” She straightened his collar and brushed his shoulder. “Rickon! Look at you. So grownup!” 

Rickon blushed a little, “San, stop, you’re going to embarrass me.” 

Sansa laughed and raised her hands in surrender, “Sorry, sorry. It’s just, it’s nice seeing you mature and happy.” Sansa glanced around Rickon and pointed at Shireen, “and she is wonderful, you treat her well, Ric.” 

Rickon turned and smiled, “She’s pretty great.” His gaze lingered on Shireen a little longer before turning back to Sansa. “I really like Harry, he’s nice.” 

Sansa nodded, “he is.” 

“Hey, San?” Sansa tilted her head, acknowledging him to continue. “Why are you with him?” 

Sansa was startled. Not only was Rickon the first person to ask her anything about Harry so abruptly, he is also the last person she expected it from. “What?” 

Rickon sighed, “Harry is nice, he’s great really, but you’re not in love with him.” 

Sansa shook her head, “Ric, I know you’re in a relationship now, but you don’t know what you’re talking about. I love, Harry.” 

Rickon huffed an annoyed look on his face, “Sans, I don’t think I’m suddenly some love expert, I’ve fucked up plenty. I’m saying this because I know you, you were always my favourite.” He grinned and bumped Sansa with his shoulder, successfully lightening the mood. “I think you love him, respect him but you’re not in love with him. You love Jon. So, what I guess I am too young to understand, is why aren’t you with Jon? You’re in love with him, you know he would leave this all behind if you asked him too. So, why aren’t you with him?” 

Sansa felt like Rickon had just punched her in the stomach, she was completely winded. She didn’t know what to say, she couldn’t answer that question honestly yet for some reason found herself not wanting to lie to him. She’s had no problem evading questions and answer up until now and she wasn’t sure if it was Rickon’s innocence or the fact that he had just called her out on all her shit, but she didn’t want to lie. 

“Ric, I...” 

Sansa felt a hand on her back and turned to see Harry, smiling at the pair, “Hey, hope I’m not interrupting.” _Thank god._

Rickon recovered faster than Sansa, and waved his hand, “no of course not, I was actually just about to leave and find Shireen. Enjoy the rest of your night. 

After Rickon left, Sansa turned and wrapped her arms around Harry’s neck. _I’m in love with him._ “Hi baby, having fun?” 

Harry hummed and leaned down and gave her a chaste kiss, “I am, I’ve missed you though. Also, I know she’s the bride, but Margaery’s grandmother? She is one intimidating woman.” Harry shuddered. 

Sansa laughed, “Oh yes, Olenna Tyrell. Try to avoid her if you can, she’s a live one.” 

“Are you sure you can’t sneak away tonight?” He pulled Sansa flush against him and was just about to whisper something in her ear when a cough interrupted them. 

Sansa turned to see Margaery, Robb and Jon standing behind her. Jon’s jaw was clenched, and jealousy flashed behind his eyes. Margaery cheerfully said, “Sorry to interrupt, but it’s time to go.” She turned to Robb and patted his chest, “I need to give this fella time to miss me, plus if I stay any longer I will drink too much, stay up too late and look like a tired hag on my wedding day.” 

Robb cupped her cheeks and kissed her lips, “Impossible.” Margaery beamed. 

She turned back to Sansa and Harry, “Sorry, Doc. But she’s mine for the rest of the night.” She held out her arm to Sansa. “Come, come.” 

Sansa laughed and turned to Harry, “Sorry babe, time to go.” Harry pulled her closer, and Sansa tried to keep her body from going stiff. He cupped her cheek and kissed her, a far less chaste kiss than before. As much as Sansa wanted to give into the kiss she couldn’t, not knowing Jon was right there. For whatever reason, she knew kissing Harry would hurt him and she couldn’t do it. _What the fuck, Sansa. Figure you’re shit out._

After they had exchanged goodbyes, the four of them headed to the elevator. Margaery had insisted that Robb also head up to his suite, she didn’t want him to get too crazy before the wedding and with Tormund there it was bound to happen, and it was after midnight. 

Sansa awkwardly stood beside Jon in the elevator, Robb and Margaery blissfully unaware as they reveled in the fact that the next time they saw each other, it would be to say, “I do”. Sansa glanced up at Jon, who was staring straight ahead. Jaw still locked and eye still narrowed, she knew that seeing her and Harry together had set him off. 

Sansa went to bed that night feeling more confused than before. She wanted Jon to know that Harry was her future but didn’t want to hurt him by showing it. She wanted Jon to respect that she was with someone else but couldn’t stop herself from looking at him. She knew she was sending out mixed signals and that is the last thing she wanted, but she just couldn’t help it. 

She had two more days to get through, once they all return to Winterfell on Sunday morning, there was a family brunch and then they would be on a flight home to Essos by 6pm. _You can do this, Sansa. Keep it up for 48 hours._

\--- 

“So, Sansa. Tell us, when are you and Harry going to get married.” Ygritte inquired as she sipped on her morning mimosa. The girls were having a light brunch before settling into hours of hair, makeup and fittings. The conversation had been focused on Margaery, but she had just slipped out of the room for a last minute massage and Ygritte took the opportunity to pounce. 

“Yeah, come on Sansa! You can’t be with him for so long and not think about it on a day like today!” Jeyne piped in, she had always been a hopeless romantic. Even though she still refused to admit to herself how in love with Theon she was. 

Sansa rolled her eyes and grinned, “We’re really in no rush, I’m not sure I really want to get married. What’s the point?” 

Jeyne coughed, nearly choking on her drink as Ygritte eyed her skeptically, “Sansa Stark doesn’t want to get married? Really? You had your wedding to Jon planned since you were like 13, and now you don’t want to get married?” 

“Lay off her Yrig, there is nothing wrong with not wanting to get married,” Arya said, as she grabbed a pastry from the table. “I don’t plan on getting married to Gendry, that doesn’t mean I’m going to go whore myself around, we’re committed I just don’t see the point in the whole charade.” 

“So pleasant to know your thoughts on marriage, Arya,” Margaery said dryly, having returned from the spa. Though her words sounded harsh there was a gleam to her eye, everyone knew Arya’s stance on marriage. “I give you a couple years, and you’ll be married and breeding children like it was your day job.” Arya made a disgusted face. 

“Breeding out children? What am I, some broodmare? Is it 1812, woman are only good for cooking, fucking and breeding?” 

They all laughed at Arya, who was utterly put off by the statement. Ygritte continued to scandalize Arya further with the thought of Gendry wanting to settle down while Margaery winked at Sansa. Once again saving Sansa and shifting the conversation off her and Harry. 

Sansa stood and went over to Margaery, who was settling in at the vanity, staring blissfully at her wedding dress hanging on the window. “How do you feel? You’re getting married in a few hours?” Sansa beamed. 

“Amazing, I love your brother, Sansa. More then I’ve ever loved anything, I want nothing more than to be his wife.” Margaery’s smile fell as she looked at Sansa caringly, “were you serious, about not wanting to get married?” 

Sansa shrugged, she honestly wasn’t sure. It was true, she had always dreamed about her wedding to Jon, but ever since she left and with everything Harry and her already had in Essos, she just didn’t feel the need. Maybe a small part of her didn’t feel like a marriage to anyone but Jon would be right, to vow to the seven and have a piece of her not mean it? She wasn’t religious but even she wouldn’t lie to the gods. 

Margaery placed her hand over Sansa’s, “I’m only going to say this once, and I will never bring it up to you again, Sansa. Also, it’s my wedding day, and after this we are going to focus on me,” she joked. “Sansa, if you still love Jon as much as I can see that you do, “she held a finger up to stop any protests Sansa was about to deliver. “Like I know you do, why aren’t you with him? You could’ve come back, or you could’ve asked him at any point to try and get out. Why haven’t you?” 

“I love Harry, Margaery. Not Jon.” _I hate that it is so easy to lie to you._

“My my my, miss Stark. You have become quite good at lying, tell me though my dear. Are you only lying to me, or are you lying to yourself too?” Margaery smiled, she wasn’t mad at Sansa’s deceit she just didn’t understand. 

Sansa waved off Margaery’s inquiry, “enough, today is about you. You and Robb, but mostly you,” Sansa laughed and came behind Margaery, she put her hands on Margaery’s shoulders and they looked at each other in the reflection of the mirror. “Now, what do you say we get you married?” 

Just then Sansa was shooed away by Margaery’s makeup artist and ushered to her own chair. She couldn’t get Margaery’s question out of her mind, how closely her question resembled Rickon’s last night. Was she that obvious, or did they just know her too well? If they could tell, could Harry. She was annoyed that people hadn’t let it go, _if they knew, if they could understand why I left, they would all understand why Harry was the only option, the better option, the SAFER option._

The next 6 hours flew by, and before Sansa knew it they were standing just beyond the Godswood. The ceremony was beautiful and simplistic, and Sansa could see as Robb and the others took their place at the top of the aisle. Robb looked nervous, he kept rubbing his hands and wasn’t sue where to look, Sansa knew when he turned around, he was wiping his eyes. She smiled, it was a rare sight to see Robb nervous and it was sweet to see him in such a state. 

Sansa glanced at Tormund and Theon, Theon looked decent considering he had been stitched twice in just a few days. He had listened to Harry following his display Thursday night, although Sansa would bet that had more to do with Jeyne threatening to find a new hotel room than Harry himself. Tormund and Theon were laughing at something Tormund had said until the septon shot them a glance for causing a commotion. 

Jon was standing next to Robb, he looked so damn good in his tuxedo. She saw him pat Robb on the back and say something that made him laugh a little, taking the edge off. That was just Jon though, he may be a many number of things, but he was also kind and constant to those he loved. 

Sansa turned and looked at Margaery as the music started, she smiled and hugged her, “okay, ready?” 

“Ready.” 

\--- 

The ceremony was beautiful and some how Robb had knocked it out of the park with his vows. They were funny and sentimental, and even Jon felt himself get emotional at his declaration of unwavering love. He knew that his best friend was marrying the love of his life, they would have a happy life, a family, hopefully. As happy as he was, he was also painfully jealous. 

He could probably have it by now or be well on his way to having all of that had her stayed with Val or opened himself up to anyone else, but he couldn’t. It wasn’t supposed to be anyone else, it was always supposed to be Sansa. He couldn’t even look at her today as he processed this strange combination of want, need and anger. 

He shouldn’t have said what he said on Thursday night, he should have let her be and then on Friday? Gods, when he _knew_ that she had listened to him? That she hadn’t slept with Harry, he couldn’t help but feel smug. He had half expected her to tell him to fuck off, or walk away from him or worse, have slept with Harry just to prove a point. But she didn’t do any of that, she simply didn’t fuck him. 

She look radiant tonight, _as if it’s different than any other night? She’s always beautiful._ Though he didn’t look at her, he heard her breath hitch during the ceremony, she was always a sucker for a good love story. He watched how Harry couldn’t take his eyes off her, Jon knew Harry loved her. It was clear as day, because if anyone knew what it was like to love Sansa Stark, it was Jon. Part of him wanted to feel guilty, for demanding the attention he had from Sansa, but he just couldn’t find it in him. 

He may be many things, but Jon was never a cheater. He respected the promise people made to one another; he had put more than one friend in their place when they had cheated on their woman. He hated it. But he didn’t give a shit when it came to Harry, because this was Sansa. She, on some level, was still his. He wanted a lifetime with her, but he would take whatever she was willing to give him. 

Then somewhere in the back of Jon’s mind he was reminded that she was leaving tomorrow. Tonight, after the party, she would go to her room _with Harry, _they would see each other briefly at brunch on Sunday, surrounded by the entire family and then she would be gone. Jon had no more time, anything he wanted to say to her he wouldn’t have the chance. This was his last chance.__

__  
_ _

As Jon listened to Ygritte and Jeyne wrap up their bridal toast, he suddenly got nervous. He wiped his hands on his pant leg, knowing his speech was next. _Here goes nothing_

\---

Sansa watched Jon stand and walk towards the podium. She heard him clear his throat and loosen his tie a bit. _He’s nervous_. She had to suppress a laugh, it was very rare that you see Jon Snow nervous, about anything, but public speaking? She could see, even from a distance, the little bead of sweat that formed in his hairline. It was utterly adorable. _Stop it._

She listened as Jon made the crowd laugh with the story of how Jon had to push a very nervous Robb into asking Margaery out, how Robb developed a stutter trying to talk to her. Sansa grinned, really it was her who pushed Jon to push Robb, but she would let him take credit this time. She watched as the guests teared up when he told them of how Robb was a brother, and how he would always be there for him, like Robb was when his mom died. He thanked Ned and Catelyn for raising such a good man. Even Jon was struggling to control his stoic demeanor. 

He quickly swiped at his eye and cleared his throat again, giving a nervous chuckle. He turned slightly, to face Margaery and Robb more directly. “Really all I need to say, is congratulations.” His eyes caught Sansa’s and suddenly it was impossible for either of them to look away. “To find a love, a love like you two have. It’s rare and beautiful, and something that is worth fighting for at all costs. 

Sansa blinked away tears, she knew he was no longer only speaking to the newlyweds. “You have the thing most people dream about. Someone to say I love you, I need you, I want _only_ you. To say I’m never going anywhere, and you’ll have me, for as long as you want me – I am yours.” 

Jon turned back to the guests and raised his glass, “To Robb and Margaery”. 

“To Robb and Margaery” repeated back to him. Arya gently nudged Sansa under the table, Sansa turned to her sister, “are you okay?” 

Sansa took a gulp of her champagne and nodded. “mhmm, just fine.” 

Arya leaned in a little closer, “That’s good, but just so you know, Harry was staring at you the entire speech, I’m pretty sure he noticed Jon staring at you too.” 

_Shit._ Sansa swallowed and plastered a giant smile on her face, accompanied by a fake laugh. Hoping to rectify what she had just royally fucked up. Thank god for Arya, she played along. After an acceptable amount of time, Sansa turned to Harry and smiled and waved. She saw his eyes narrow slightly, but eventually he smiled back. Sansa gestured towards the bar, Harry nodded, and both made their way over. 

Harry grabbed the back of Sansa’s neck when they met, kissing her with more enthusiasm and fervor than he usually does in public. Sansa kissed back before she took a step back and blushed “My my, what’s gotten into you?” 

Harry put his hand on Sansa’s lower back and dragged her back to him, “Just missed you, and that dress. God, Sansa. You look beautiful” 

Sansa smiled, “thank you, you look rather handsome as well.” 

Harry smiled and ordered them drinks, Sansa hoped that whatever Harry was thinking was gone. They were leaving in 24 hours, one more day and they would be back to their life, at home. Where they belong. No matter what Jon had said she could keep control for one more day. 

“want to dance?” she looked up at Harry, holding out her hand. 

Harry smiled and quickly finished his drink, he took her hand and joined her and her family on the dance floor. 

\--- 

The party finally started winding down, guests were finally starting to depart. Ygritte had basically been man handled out of the ballroom by Tormund, Theon had drunkenly confessed his undying love for Jeyne in a last ditch effort for “drunken wedding fuckery”, as Tormund had so delicately put it. It seemed to work considering Jeyne whispered something in Theon’s ear and he followed her from the room with a little extra pep in his step. 

Harry leaned down to Sansa, his hand dropped lower on Sansa’s back and growled, “can we get out of here now?” Sansa saw Jon, standing with Robb and Margaery, staring at her. His hand tightened around his whiskey glass and she saw the jealously in his eyes. There was no way he heard what Harry had said, but Harry’s body language was all Jon needed to see. Sansa swallowed and nodded. 

They made their way over to the Newlyweds, Sansa hugging Robb tightly “I’m so proud of you big brother. If you hurt her, I will come home and end you.” 

Robb squeezed her a little tighter before releasing her and shaking Harry’s hands. “We’ll see you guys tomorrow at the house for brunch. We may be a bit later, but we will make sure to say goodbye.” 

As Sansa hugged Margaery, Harry extended his hand out to Jon, “Jon.” Sansa glanced over Margaery’s shoulder to see Jon’s jaw clenched as he swallowed sharply. 

He shook Harry’s hand and nodded. She knew he wasn’t going to say anything, he didn’t trust his voice not to betray his emotions. 

They said their final goodbyes and headed to their suite. As soon as the door closed behind them, Harry dragged Sansa into him. Sansa kissed him back, trying to put every emotion she had into only that moment, into just Harry. _I love him, I love him, I love him. He’s enough._

\--- 

Hours later, Sansa laid awake in bed, Harry’s arm draped over her stomach. She glanced at the clock on the night table, it was four in the morning and Sansa hadn’t slept. She knew that they would be leaving in just over 12 hours and she would likely not see Jon for a long time, if ever again. She looked at Harry and closed her eyes tight. He deserved so much better than her, than this. 

Her guilt gnawing away at her, she carefully got out of bed without waking Harry and grabbed her robe. Quietly she snuck out of their room and headed down to the pool. Sitting on the edge and dipping her feet in the water. The resort was completely deserted and for the first time tonight Sansa felt like she could breathe. Sansa closed her eyes and just sat, letting the stress of the last week and all her emotions wash over her. 

Someone cleared their throat behind her, _Jon._ “I, I thought I’d be the only one up.” His voice deep. After a minute he sat down beside her and put his feet in the water. Sansa turned to look at him, he had rolled up with jeans so they wouldn’t get wet and was wearing a black sweater. He looked surprised to see her, she could relate. 

Sansa shrugged, “couldn’t sleep.” 

Jon hummed in response, “the wedding was beautiful.” 

Sansa gave a small smile and tilted her head to one side, “It was, they’ll be happy, I think. They’ll make it last, you know?” 

“I think so too.” Jon looked at her, his eyes were soft as he searched her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked. 

_I’m sad because I’ll probably never see you again. I miss you. I love you. I can’t be with you. You’d hate me if you learned the truth._ Sansa sighed and got up, “I’m not doing this with you again, Jon.” 

Jon stands, “we can’t talk?” 

_I promised myself I would give Harry the respect he deserves and all I want to do is kiss you._ “No, Jon. We can’t,” Sansa turned as Jon caught her arm, turning her back to him. He wasn’t rough or angry, he looked desperate. 

“Why,” he asked the pain evident in his voice. 

Sansa let out a frustrated huff, “because, Jon. Us talking either leads to us yelling at one another or it ends up with us kissing. I’m too tired to yell, and you can’t kiss me anymore. It isn’t right “

“You kissed me” 

Sansa narrowed her eyes, “what?” 

Jon shrugged, “at the bar, you kissed me.” He was staring at her, eyes both soft and hard. Sansa felt herself falter under his gaze, its too intense. She stepped back and he stepped forward, back to playing cat and mouse. 

“It doesn’t matter who kissed who, Jon. The point is it can’t happen again.” She gestured between them, “these conversations can’t happen anymore.” 

“It does matter, Sansa. It. Does. Matter.” Jon grabbed her hip ad dragged her forward toward him. “It was about you.” Sansa’s eye snap to Jon’s, “My speech, it was about you. Everything is about you. I love you, Sansa.” 

She tried to push away, “stop it, Jon.” 

“I need you.” 

“Jon, please stop.” Tears started to roll down her face as Jon lets go. She doesn’t leave. 

“I want you, only you.” 

Sansa forcefully raised her hands in front of her, “Jon, stop. I leave tomorrow, this isn’t fair. To me, to you,” _To Harry_ she wants to say, but for she can’t find it in herself to mention him right now. She puts her hands on his chest, staring at the hollow spot where is neck and shoulders meet. “Jon.” 

His fingers tilt her chin up, forcing her to look at him. He doesn’t say anything, he just stares at her. Sansa could easily move away, he isn’t holding her anymore. He has released her enough that it is now her choice. She could leave, she _should_ leave. 

She can’t leave. 

This time Sansa knows who kissed first, as she leaned forward and pressed her lips to Jon. He falls into it immediately, his hand moving from her chin to her hair, dragging her closer to him. His other hand moved to her lower back, pinning her to him. 

The kiss was passionate and desperate as Jon demanded entrance to her mouth. Sansa immediately opened her mouth and moaned as he bit her lower lip. Jon began backing them up until Sansa felt he back hit the cold stone wall. She hissed and Jon took the opportunity to tug her hair, exposing her neck to him. 

Sansa was impossibly wet, and she ached to be touched by him, the thought of him building her up only to pull back again was enough to make her bury her hands in his hair, keeping his mouth on her. She shifted, trying to relieve some of the ache she felt, and Jon chuckled deeply into the alcove of her neck. 

“Greedy.” He mumbled as he shifted them, his leg in between hers as Sansa boldly rubbed herself on his thigh, she needed more of him, she needed to be closer to him. Jon growled and pulled himself away from her. 

Sansa tried to chase his lips, but he held her in place, he was out of breath and he looked wild with passion. “Come upstairs with me, Sansa.” It wasn’t a question, but she nodded anyway. Jon took her hand and led them to the elevator. No words were spoken, he didn’t turn to look at her, but he kept her hand in his. 

As soon as the elevator door closed behind them, Jon’s lips her on hers. Expertly, Jon grabbed Sansa’s ass and hoisted her up, her long legs wrapping around his waist. She could feel him, hard and straining against her jeans, pressing into her core. She sighed as his free hand came up to massage her breast. “Jon,” she moaned. 

He pressed into her, letting her feel how hard he was, “soon baby, soon.” The elevator _dinged_ and Jon promptly set Sansa down and took her hand, leading them to his room. Sansa shivered as they approached his room, knowing exactly what was about to happen. Jon squeezed her hand and tuned to face her. “I’m not going to ask this again tonight, Sansa. But are you sure, because once I get you into that room...” He didn’t need to finish what he was going to say, Sansa knew. 

Boldly she smiled and pushed past him, standing in front of his door and looking over his shoulder back at him. He hadn’t moved but held her gaze. “Are you going to unlock the door, Jon?” 

Jon didn’t need to be told twice, he came up flush behind Sansa and wrapped his arm around her, pulling her back flush against his chest. She trembled when his thumb grazed just under her breast as she felt him fidget behind her, grabbing his key card from his jean pocket. He leaned down and unlocked the door, grabbing his ear lobe with his teeth he whispered, “mine” 

Jon immediately pushed Sansa against the door when it closed, devouring her mouth with his. His hand ghosted up her side to the tie on her robe, undoing it has he claimed her mouth with his. Once open, Jon’s hand immediately found her breast before he stopped, eyes wide and pulled away. 

Sansa had thrown a robe over her very small silk pajamas. Through the silk and lace camisole her hard nipples stood out, considering how wet she felt she was sure Jon could see how wet she was through the light material. 

Jon swallowed and forced his gaze from her body to her eyes, “Sansa,” he growled. Sansa blushed under his gaze and he chuckled. He gestured her forward with a crook of his finger. “I’ve had my mouth on your pussy more times than I can count, and yet you still blush so prettily.” Jon slowly took Sansa’s top off before leaning down and taking one nipple in his mouth. Sansa gasped at the sudden sensation and arched her bac towards her, throwing her head back in pure pleasure. 

Jon’s hand began to play with the waistband of her shorts before he slipped a hand down into her folds. He groaned into her chest, “Gods, Sansa. So fucking wet, you’re always so fucking wet for me.” He teased her folds and pinched her clit before plunging a finger inside of her. 

Sansa moaned blissfully as he took her other nipple in his mouth and added a second finger, fucking her with his hand. She screamed out in ecstasy as his thumb found her clit, and it was embarrassing how quickly she came. “Jon!” 

Jon slowly stilled as she rode out her first orgasm before taking his fingers in his mouth. He sighed as he sucked them clean. Something feral took over Jon has he roughly grabbed the back of Sansa’s neck, pulling her into him in a brutal kiss, which Sansa met with equal passion. It was as though any last thread of control Jon had, snapped. 

He shucked off his jacket and ripped off his shirt as he moved to kiss Sansa’s neck. Sansa couldn’t help herself and ran her hands over every inch of Jon’s torso. He was strong and built and she felt her need for him grow to something fierce. 

“Jon, please,” she begged as he lifted her up by her ass and brought her over to the bed. 

He dropped her into the middle of the mattress and pulled off her silk shorts, he watched her like he wanted to devour her. Sansa wanted to be embarrassed, being spread so wantonly in front of him, but she couldn’t because she wanted him just as bad. He kneeled over her and kissed her chest, down to her stomach, he kissed her hip bone. “Tell me what you want, Sansa.” 

She huffed, frustrated that he was denying her. “Jon, please.” She tried again. 

“Sansa, look at me.” When Sansa didn’t her grabbed her jaw and tiled her head towards him. “Tell me what you want, Sansa. I’ll give you whatever you want.” 

Sansa couldn’t do it, she could never match his mouth, that hadn’t changed. “Jon, please. I can’t!” 

He chuckled deeply, “You still can’t say it can you?” He kissed her thigh. “You still can’t say that you want my mouth on your cunt, that you want me to fuck you with me tongue” Sansa blushed again, _Gods, that mouth._ She hated how much it turned her on, she could feel her stomach tightening just from his mouth alone. 

She gasped as Jon _finally_ put his mouth to her core, he lapped at her and fucked her with his tongue until she came apart and screamed his name. She felt him smirk against her thigh, “that was two baby. I want more.” His mouth was back on her extremely sensitive clit before she was fully down from the high of her last orgasm, she was feeling so much she nearly cried when he thrust two fingers into her dripping core. 

“God, Jon! Please,” She didn’t even know what what she was begging for at this point. For him to stop or make her come, both. He kept up his punishing pace as his tongue circled her clit over and over, until her brought he up and over a third time. 

“Good girl, Sansa. Good girl. You’re so hot when you come, and so goddamn tight” he crawled up and kissed her, she could taste herself on him and she moaned into the kiss. “Naughty girl.” He flipped her and raised her hips from the bed until she was on all fours. 

She felt the bad shift behind her, as he discarded his pants and boxers. He pushed down on her shoulders, lowering her chest into the mattress, Sansa’s fists squeezed the sheets. She loved this, like really _really_ loved this. When he claimed her, when he fucked her like this. 

His hands grabbed the dips in her hips as he rubbed his cock through her folds, soaking himself in her wetness. He stilled and he roughly surged into her, Sansa gasped at the sudden stretch. Jon’s cock always felt so good, he was an impressive size. Long and thick and it filled her to the hilt. 

Jon roughly grabbed her hair and pulled her head up as he fucked into at a punishing pace. “You’re mine, Sansa. You can runaway for as long as you want, but you will always be mine. Tell me, does he fuck you like this? Does he make you so wet you’re dripping on the sheets?” Sansa nods immediately and moans as Jon is bringing her up to another orgasm. “No, Sansa. Say it.” 

She cries out as Jon reaches his other hand around her waist, and feverishly rubs at her clit, “No, Jon. You. Only you. Gods, only ever you,” she cries as she tightens around him. She is spent, her legs are shaking as she comes down again. 

Jon flips her and pushes her knees to her chest as he continues to pound into her. “One more time, Sansa. I want you barely able to walk tomorrow, thinking of me and only me as your cunt aches in memory of tonight.” 

Sansa shakes her head, I can’t. I can’t Jon, it’s too much.” 

Jon growls, his fingers finding her clit again as his tone softens. “You can, baby. One more time.” His thrusts slow, instead going hard and deep as he slams into her. He lets her legs fall and brings his lips back to her nipples. Sucking and nipping as his other hand expertly works her clit. “Come, baby. One more time” 

Sansa screams as she comes one last time, from the intimacy of the moment. She reveled in Jon’s ability to go from fucking her like an animal to slow and passionate love making. Jon groaned as he thrust into her two more times before finishing inside her. 

Jon rolled off her and dragged her into his chest. Holding her and he stroked her back and kissed her forehead. Both panting, unable to catch their breath. Sansa didn’t know what she expected to happen, but that was more. More passionate, more intimate then she could have imagined. 

“I love you, Sansa.” She looked up at Jon to see him staring down at her, his eyes were black pools of emotion. She kissed him, she couldn’t say it back, she just couldn’t but she could show him. He flipped her onto her back and slowly slid into her again. This time taking his time and languidly fucking her, kissing her as he told her how much he loved her. 

When she was sure Jon was asleep, Sansa carefully snuck out of a man’s bed for the second time that night. It was almost 6 and Sansa had to get back to Harry. She let the tears fall down her cheeks as she used the guest bathroom on the main floor to freshen up before returning to the room with Harry. 

She carefully sunk into bed, Harry’s back turned to her when he stirred. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around her waist pulling her into him. She felt her tears dampening her pillow. “Where’d you go?” his voice deep from sleep. 

Sansa swallowed and forced her voice to sound light, “Just couldn’t sleep, I went to the pool to watch the sunrise. Go back to sleep, we don’t have to be up for a couple hours.” Harry hummed in response and kissed her shoulder. 

Sansa cried silently. For the guilt she felt for cheating on Harry, for Jon who would be waking up alone. _What the fuck did you just do, Sansa._

\--- 

The ride back to Winterfell felt even longer than it did before, Harry and Sansa having both woke with very little time to get packed and make it to their cars. Harry wasn’t particularly chatty, which suited Sansa fine. Between the lack of sleep and the sex with Jon she didn’t want to talk, she just wanted to sleep and forget last night ever happened. 

When they finally got to Winterfell, Sansa immediately went upstairs to shower under the guise of needing to pack their remaining bags. It was just before noon, and they would be leaving for the airport no late than quarter to five. Sansa turned the water as hot as she could, wanting to wash the shame from her body, she cried for what felt like hours even though it was only minutes. When she was finished getting ready, she packed their bags, and headed back downstairs. 

“Feel better, Lemon Cake?” Ned asked as she walked into the kitchen. Arya, Gendry, Rickon and Shireen we all seated around the island. Cat was making coffee and Sansa could hear Tormund, Ygritte, Theon and Jeyne from the foyer, having just arrived. “Where’s Harry?” Sansa asked. 

“Just saw him outside, little bird.” Sandor answered as he came in from the yard, presumably coming from the clubhouse. As Sansa walked past him to find Harry, he grabbed her arm and in a hushed voice asked, “everything okay, LB? He looks pretty pissed.” 

Sansa’s eyes shot open, wide as she looked at Sandor. Harry was pissed? She had been in her own head so much this morning she hadn’t noticed. _Fuck, does he know?_ Sansa prepared for the worst as she walked outside to Harry, who was standing on the stone patio looking out to the forest. 

Sansa touched his shoulder and he flinched, “Hey, is everything okay?” 

He looked at her, he didn’t look angry, he rarely gets angry, but he looked supremely hurt. “Are you going to tell him, Sansa?” 

Sansa was confused, she tilted her head to the side, “What?” 

Harry huffed, “Jon, Sansa. Are you going to tell him?” 

Sansa’s eyes went wide, “How do you know?” 

Harry scoffed, “Please. I knew the minute I saw him.” Sansa closed her eyes and took a step towards Harry. He stepped away from her, “So, are you going to tell him?” 

“Tell me what?” came Jon’s voice from behind them, they both turned quickly to see a very imposing Jon behind them. He narrowed his eyes, “Tell me what, Sansa.” 

Sansa couldn’t stop it as the tears began to run down her face, she shook her head before abruptly turning and quickly walked back into the house. 

She heard Jon’s footsteps quicken behind her as he grabbed her arm and turned her back to him. Ignoring the raised voices surrounding them. “Tell. Me. What, Sansa” 

Sansa couldn’t speak, she felt like she couldn’t breathe, she shook her head again. Jon’s grip tightened as he tugged her closer.” 

“Hey, fucking ease off man. Let her go.” Harry’s raised voice broke the fog as he stepped forward and grabbed Jon’s shoulder. 

Jon didn’t let go, but bucked Harry off him, “Don’t fucking touching me.” He turned back to Sansa and tried a little louder. “Tell me what?” 

Robb and Margaery must have just arrived because Sansa heard Robb’s concerned tone, “Hey hey, what’s going on. What did we miss?” 

Sansa swallowed as she looked at Jon, his eyes searching her face in confusion. Sansa stepped back, and Jon released her before his face went dark, Sansa could see the minute he pieced the puzzle together. _He knows._ His gaze slowly raised until he was looking her straight in the eye. Sansa swallowed, Jon looked at her with such anger, an anger she had _never_ seen in him before. He took a small step forward, his voice deep and menacing.

“Tell me I’m wrong, Sansa.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?? Sorry about the cliff hanger, it's mean, I know, but oof be prepared for IMMEDIATE feels next chapter. We're getting the whole picture now!  
> I love comments, so even you silent readers, feel free to leave me anything! 
> 
> Say hi on tumblr : meganfence


	9. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Tell me I’m wrong, Sansa” 
> 
> Sansa knows there is a hurricane surrounding them, but her focus is tunneled on Jon. Sansa sobbed and shook her head, tears streaming down her face. Jon stalked forward, backing her up into the wall behind her, her hands going to the wall by her hips for purchase. His voice is low and deep, “tell me I am wrong.” 
> 
> “Jon, please listen to me,” she cried. 
> 
> His palm slammed down on the wall beside her head, Sansa flinched as he shouted, “Tell me I’m fucking wrong, Sansa!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi!!  
> I didn't want to wait too long before getting this chapter up because I know it was quite the cliffhanger! I love this chapter, its emotional so be prepared.  
> Quick note; I know last chapter had a controversial moment, I'm not condoning cheating, but I did tag it. Let's just remember Allie cheated with Noah in the Notebook and we all still love that movie (not that I am comparing myself to Nicholas Sparks!) 
> 
> PS. Picset may contain a spoiler

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/618660752214114305/beautifully-unfinished)

“Tell me I’m wrong, Sansa” 

Sansa knows there is a hurricane surrounding them, but her focus is tunneled on Jon. Sansa sobbed and shook her head, tears streaming down her face. Jon stalked forward, backing her up into the wall behind her, her hands going to the wall by her hips. His voice is low and deep, “tell me I am wrong.” 

“Jon, please listen to me,” she cried. 

She heard Gendry trying to reason with Jon from a distance, “Jon, man. Let’s just calm down.” Jon didn’t move and Sansa couldn’t breathe. 

His palm slammed down on the wall beside her head, Sansa flinched as he shouted, “Tell me I’m fucking wrong, Sansa!” 

Harry tried again to defuse the situation and put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, attempting to get him to move. “Okay, that’s enough. You need to back the hell up,” he sounded angry and Sansa knew that despite how angry he was at her, he wouldn’t like Jon’s outburst. 

Jon’s eyes don’t leave hers as they narrowed, “Get your fucking hand off me before I break it,” he growled. His hand slammed down on the wall again, “Damn it, Sansa. Tell me I’m wrong, tell me you weren’t fucking pregnant.” His eyes pleading with her to tell him he’s wrong, beneath the anger she sees the profound hurt that she is causing him, that her decisions have caused him, and she knows it’s only about to get worse. 

An eerie silence falls over the room following a whisper of gasps. A hand laid on Jon’s shoulder, gently pulling him back as Sansa heard Ned’s voice, “Jon, backup.” His voice was firm but gentle. Jon took a small step back and Sansa watched as his eyes turned from anger to confusion and back to an unbridled rage. 

Jon turned quickly and the silence in the room was broken by the sound of Jon’s fist hitting Ned’s jaw. “You fucking knew!” Within seconds Jon was being held back by Sandor and Tormund, Ned was an understanding man, but no one would dare fuck with him. Jon didn’t seem to give a shit, pulling against the two of them. “You fucking knew. It’s why you let her go, it why you helped her go! You fucking knew and you didn’t tell me.” 

Ned slowly rubbed his jaw, moving it from side to side. His face was hard, and everyone could see he was trying not to lose his temper, he looked a Jon and slowly said, “Take a walk, Jon. Right now.” He gestured with his eyes to Sandor, who began forcing Jon out to the yard. 

Just as Sansa let out a chocked sob and her knees began to give out, Harry was there is an instant, crouching down with her as she sobbed. He whispered in her ear, “shh, shh its okay, I’ve got you. It’ll be okay.” Sansa shook as she realized everyone knew, there was no hiding it. She glanced around as everyone just stared at them, looks of hurt and confusion and pain spread across their faces. _I should have never come home._

\---

 _Sansa walked slowly towards her dad’s office, the house was empty, and she knew no one would be home for a while. Her face stained with tears as she knocked, peaking her head in to see if he was available._

_He waved her in, barely glancing up once he saw who it was, reading some file on his desk. “What can I do for you, lemon cake?”_

_Sansa sob brought Ned’s attention to her, a worried look washed over his face. “Sansa, what’s wrong?”_

_“Daddy,” Sansa sobbed as Ned came over beside her. “I’m in trouble, I need your help and I don’t know what to do.” She shook as her rubbed her back._

_“Sansa, baby. You need to tell me what’s wrong. Right now, Sansa.”_

_“I need to leave, Daddy. I can’t be in this anymore. I need you to help me leave.” Ned was confused at the sudden need to leave, not that Sansa was ever fully comfortable with this life, but this kind of emotional outburst didn’t make sense._

_Ned shook his head, “I don’t understand, Sansa.” That’s when he noticed Sansa had a hand on her stomach, he looked into her eyes and saw just how scared she was. “You’re pregnant,” he whispered._

_Sansa let out another sob, “I don’t know what to do, Daddy. I don’t know, I don’t know if Jon will leave with me, but I can’t raise a baby in this. I wont. I can’t. It’s not safe.” Ned nodded, still trying to process that his little girl was pregnant as she continued, “If I tell him, and he doesn’t want to leave or you can’t help him get out safely, he’ll never let me go and I’m not sure I’d be able to go if he knew.”_

_He nodded slowly, trying to come to terms with what Sansa was asking of him, “You want to leave and not tell, Jon? You don’t want him to know you’re pregnant?” he looked at Sansa, who nodded, “Are you sure, Sansa? He loves you and I know you love him, are you sure this is what you want.”_

_Sansa shook her head, “no, Daddy. This isn’t what I want but I don’t think I have any other choice.” In that moment, Ned saw that Sansa had grown up. Possibly overnight, probably the minute she took a test. His little girl was a mother, and a mother would do anything possible to protect her pups. He knew Sansa would leave, with or without his help, only without his help would be more difficult and far less safe._

 _“Tell me what you need, Sansa.”_

\---

Sansa watched as Ned ushered people out of the kitchen, dismissing the parade of questions being asked. _Just give her space for a few minutes, give her time,_ he repeated as he left. She watched him turn to Cat, who had said nothing since the shocking revelation. God, Sansa wanted to tell her mom so badly. So many times through out the years when there was sickness, or hard times, she had wanted to call her mom for advice, but Catelyn was the worst liar. The woman couldn’t keep a secret to save her life and Sansa knew how much she cared about Jon. It was easier having her mom not know, than risk her accidentally letting it slip. 

Sansa was sitting at the island when Cat came over, pulling Sansa in for a hug. “Are you okay,” she asked. Sansa nodded as Cat pulled back. “We will talk about this, but right now, Sansa, you need to go find that boy.” She turned to Ned, who looked at his wife sheepishly. Ned swallowed as Cat pointed at him, “office. Now.” 

Sansa sighed, the last thing she wanted was to cause a rift with her parents and she knew that Cat was beyond hurt that she didn’t know she had a grandchild. Sansa turned to where Sandor had just come in, “Where is he” She asked, standing. 

Sandor looked at her and sighed, “clubhouse, little bird” Sansa knew she had to go talk to him, he doesn’t even know half the truth and he deserves to. She found her suitcase that was brought down and rummaged around until she found an envelope. 

Harry came up beside her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder, “Maybe I should come with you? Or Robb, at least?” He wasn’t trying to be needy, he was concerned for her safety after Jon’s outburst. 

Sansa shook her and laid her hand over Harry’s, she turned to look at him. “He won’t hurt me, it’s okay.” No matter how angry he was, no matter how hurt, Jon would never hurt her. 

Sansa took a deep breath as she made her way down the lane, readying herself for what she knew would be one of the hardest conversations she’d ever have. Despite the rage she saw in Jon, beneath all that anger, she had seen the hurt, the pain, _the loss_. All Jon ever wanted was a family and knowing that he had a child that he had abandon, even though it wasn’t his choice, Sansa knew how that would be affecting him. 

As Sansa approached the clubhouse, she saw Jon sitting on the concrete steps, head down looking at the ground. He knew she was there, but he wouldn’t look up, “Not now, Sansa.” His voice was clipped and short, but she could hear that the anger had all but left him. 

Sansa ignored him and sat down beside him, arms crossed over her legs, and looked straight ahead. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Sansa waiting to see if Jon would say anything and figuring out where she should be begin. 

She sighed, fiddling with envelope in her hand, “She’s 5 and a half. She’s beautiful and she’s kind and so smart.” 

Sansa’s voice changed when she talked about her daughter, proud didn’t even begin to describe how Sansa felt about being her mom. She watched Jon roll his shoulders and he looked forward; he still wouldn’t look at her. She could see he was trying not to fall apart. 

He cleared his throat, “Where is she, right now?” 

“She’s with Harry’s parents,” Sansa answered softly. Any question he asked she would answer honestly. He already knew, now he deserved to know the whole truth. 

“Who are they to her?” 

“Her grandparents, she calls them Gigi and Papa.” Sansa paused, knowing what Jon was truly asking. “She knows that Harry isn’t her real dad, he didn’t come into the picture until she was nearly 2," she sighed and wiped away a few fallen tears, “but he’s incredibly important to her." 

Jon closed his eyes and rubbed a hand over his face, “What’s her name?” his voice raw with emotion. 

“Lyanna,” Sansa said softly. 

Jon finally turned to look at her, and Sansa could see the tears pooling in his eyes, “You named her after my mom?” 

Sansa could hear the disbelief in his voice, she knew how losing his mom the way he had affected him, when she found out they were having a little girl, she knew instantly what she was going to name her. 

“Yes, Jon,” Sansa swallowed, “I was always going to tell her about you, eventually. When she was old enough to understand, I was always going to tell her.” 

Jon tensed and stared at Sansa, “Were you ever going to tell me about her?” 

Sansa felt her heart tear in two, “I don’t know. I wanted to but the longer we were gone, the harder it became, but I never stopped wanting to, Jon.” She held out the envelope for him to take. 

He takes it slowly, “what is this?” 

Sansa stands, “There is a USB drive, in there. Its, it’s our life, Jon.” She smiled sadly, “It’s all the things I wanted you to know, all the things I wanted you to see… all the important moments.” She turned to walk away, knowing this was something Jon would have to do without her. She stopped when Jon called out. 

“Sansa,” She turned and tilted her head to the side, “do you have a picture?” He asked sadly. 

Sansa closed her eyes as tears fell, “in the envelope, Jon." 

\--- 

When Sansa made her way back inside, she found all of her siblings sitting around the kitchen island and heard the raised voices that came from upstairs, “How could you not tell me!” Cat hissed. 

“Cat, I was just doing what she wanted, I was trying to help.” Ned attempted to defend his choices, pleading with her. They would be fine, she knew, but she still hated that they were arguing over her. 

“God Ned, how could you let her do it alone. She was just a child, she shouldn’t have had to do it alone. We could’ve figured out another way.” The voices muffled off, but she heard Cat’s voice break at the end and she assumed she was crying. 

Sansa looked at the floor, she wasn’t sure how to face her siblings, her friends. Where does she start. Harry came over and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in for a hug as he kissed her forehead. “It’ll be fine, Sansa.” 

It is Rickon who finally breaks the silence, “San, you’re a mom?” He asked in such awe, a ridiculous smile plastered on his face. 

Sansa laughed and nodded, “I am, she’s 5 and a half.” 

Arya quickly rounds the island and pulled Sansa into for a tight hug, “You’re a mom!” Arya laughed, no one asked why she didn’t tell them or why Sansa would leave. They all knew. Everything made sense now. 

“Does she, uhm, does…” Rickon trailed off, not knowing how to address his niece. 

Sansa looked at Rickon and then looked to Robb, “Lyanna.” She saw as Robb quickly shut his eyes and inhale. He was thinking about Jon, and how he must be feeling. 

Rickon recovered, “Does Lyanna know, uhm know about us?” he asked sheepishly. Sansa felt her heart swell, leave it to Rickon. 

Sansa smiled and nodded as she walked towards the island, “She does, I’ve showed her pictures of you all, she knows your names.” Sansa slides her phone towards the group, her phone is littered with pictures of Lyanna and her family. 

Robb coughed and looked at Harry, “and you?” 

Harry shrugged, “She knows she isn’t mine, but I’m her stepdad. I love her like she’s mine though.” 

Robb nodded as he peered over Margaery’s shoulder, looking at photos of his niece. Margaery raised her head, tears welled up in her eyes, “Sansa, she’s beautiful.” 

Sansa smiled and walked over to Robb, gently tugging him away from the group. She watched as Arya and Gendry grilled Harry on questions about her, which he answered proudly. 

Sansa looked at Robb, he smiled at her and engulfed her in a hug, “Sans, I wish you would’ve told me. You amaze me, doing that by yourself.” He pulled back and shook his head, “You’re a _mom_ , Sansa. That’s amazing!” 

Sansa beamed at him, “it’s the best thing I’ve ever done, she’s amazing, Robb.” Her smiled faltered as she sighed. “Robb, I need you to go find Jon. He’s at the clubhouse.” 

Robb tilted his head, confused by Sansa’s sudden need for him to find Jon. Sansa swallowed, “I gave him a USB drive...” 

“Okay,” he urged her to continue. 

“Its videos of her, of us, of everything he missed.” Robb sighed and looked at Sansa, she continued, “I, uhm. I recorded videos for him, I never wanted him to feel like I left and forgot him.” 

Robb runs his hands through his hair, “Shit, Sansa.” 

“Please make sure he is okay and that he watches them?” Sansa pleaded, this would be hard on Robb but it would be harder on Jon and he needed a friend. 

\--- 

Jon didn’t know how long he sat on the porch, envelope in hand. He was scared to death of opening it. He so badly wanted to, but seeing her, seeing proof that he had a daughter somewhere out there who he had never met, he didn’t know if he could handle it. 

Jon wanted to be angry with Sansa, he wanted to yell and rage and tell her what a mistake she made, but he couldn’t because she didn’t. This life, this fucked up life they live, is dangerous and hard, they were better off being gone. She should’ve told him, knowing she was pregnant, he would have done everything possible to leave with her. _It wouldn’t have been safe for them._ He had more enemies than she did, especially back then. He was young, and hot headed and had so many people who wanted him dead. Had he left with them, they wouldn’t have been safe. 

He’s missed so much, the thought that Sansa went through all of that alone. That he wasn’t there for her. That he missed watching her grow, missed watching Lyanna grow. 

_Lyanna,_ named after his mom. Sansa kept him involved even though he had no idea what she was going through, it was enough to make Jon weep. 

Jon heard footsteps approaching, he looked up and saw a solemn Robb. He didn’t saw anything as he sat down beside him, looking at the unopened envelope in Jon’s hand. 

Jon cleared his throat, “I uhm, I haven’t been able to open it. I want to, but I can’t. She said there’s videos, but I- “Jon’s breath hitched, unable to continue. 

Robb gently grabbed the envelope and opened it, carefully grabbing the USB out and giving it back to Jon. “When you’re ready, I’ll be inside.” Robb stood and went inside. 

Jon took a deep breath as he pulled the picture from the envelope and turned it over. Gods, she was beautiful. She looked exactly like him, dark hair, the blackest eyes but he knew right away she was Sansa’s, though her eyes might look like his, they were kind and soft like hers. 

He roughly wiped the tears from his eyes, berating himself for being so soft. He couldn’t stop looking at her, he wondered what she looked like as a baby, as a toddler. He was overwhelmed with a sense of pride and a fierce need to protect her, protect them both. 

He stood and went inside, finding Robb sitting on the leather sofa, a paused video on the TV. He went to the bar and poured two glasses of scotch and sat down beside him. 

Jon handed Robb his drink and he placed the picture on the coffee table. Robb looked at it and then at him, “she’s beautiful.” 

Jon nodded and took a sip of his drink, “like her mom,” he replied solemnly. 

“You ready?” Robb asked. 

Jon didn’t reply, he just played the video. 

He watched as a slightly pregnant Sansa fiddled with her phone, trying to get it to stay. Her bump was just starting to show, she was in what he presumed was a living room – it looked cozy. She sat cross legged on the couch and looked at the camera. 

_She smiled softly, she looked sad. “Hi, Jon.”_ He paused the video and stood, suddenly he couldn’t breath. He wiped his hand down his face and bent over the pool table. He couldn’t do this. 

Jon felt Robb come up beside him, leaning his back against the pool table he placed his hand on Jon’s shoulder, “What do you need?” 

Jon’s shoulders sagged, and he huffed, “I don’t know.” They stood for a minute, before Jon composed himself and turned to Robb. “Rip it off like a Band-Aid, right?” It’s what they used to say to each other when they were younger. 

Robb gave a small laugh, “rip it off like a Band-Aid.” They sat back on the couch and Jon played the video. 

_“Hi, Jon. I don’t know if you’ll see this, I want you to, god how I want you to. I wish you were here with me.” She paused and wiped away a few stray tears, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “I found out today we’re having a girl, a little girl, Jon. Can you believe it? I’m going to name her after your mom.”_

_Sansa fidgeted on the couch, trying to get a little comfier, she looked impossibly sad. “It’s weird you know. How I can be so happy,” she cradled her bump, “yet so sad, all at once. I miss you, baby. I know you probably hate me for leaving, you’d probably hate me even more if you knew why but I hope you’d understand. I don’t know if or when I’ll tell you about her. I want to, god I want to. I want you here for it all, but you can’t be. I promise though, one day I will tell her about you, when she’s old enough to understand.”_

_"I love you, Jon. I’ve always loved you, and I think I will always love you. I wanted to tell you that wherever I am, whatever happens, I’ll always think of you, and the time we spent together, as my happiest time. I’d do it all over again, if I had the choice. No regrets”_

Jon hadn’t blinked since the video started, unable to speak because he knows if he tried, he would lose control. Jon looked at Robb, his face tight and his eyes filled with tears, much like Jon’s 

He turned back to the tv as the next video started, she was sitting in a rocking chair holding the smallest baby he’s ever seen. She looked tired but radiant. She smiled down at the baby wrapped in the softest pink blanket, “Jon Snow, meet your daughter.” 

For the first time since he’d found out Jon lost all control. 

\--- 

Sansa had just had a great heart to heart with Cat when she found Harry sitting in the library. She sat down on the sofa beside him, he didn't turn to look at her but gave a small smile. “Are you okay?” he asked. 

She nodded and took a deep breath before beginning, “Harry, you’ve seen how dangerous this life can be, you know that I would never bring her into this,” Sansa grabbed Harry’s hands and urged him to look at her. “I know I hurt you, and I’m hoping that when we get home we can work it out.” Sansa paused, “Harry, I need to bring here.” 

Harry’s eyes snapped to hers, wide in disbelief, “Are you fucking kidding, Sansa.” 

“Harry,” he turned away from her, Sansa gently grabbed his arms and tugged him back, cupping his face. “Harry, listen to me! We aren’t coming to stay, but they deserve to meet her, she deserves to meet them.” 

His eyes narrowed, “Don’t you mean he deserve to meet her.” 

“This isn’t about Jon, Harry. I wasn’t wrong for leaving, not raising her here was the best thing I could do for her. It’s sill the right thing to do. But how I did it _was_ wrong. They are my family. They are _her_ family." 

“So what we bring her here, and do what about Jon, Sansa? I won’t lie to her, how do think that’s going to work.” 

Sansa shrugged, “I know Jon, Harry. He won’t do anything to jeopardize her, if we ask him not to, he won’t tell her who he is.” 

“What are my options here, Sansa” 

Sansa cocked her head to the side, “What do you mean? About bringing her here, if you’re really against it, I won’t. But please consider it." 

Harry holds his hand up, stopping her. “No, Sansa. I agree she needs to meet her family. I don’t love the idea of bringing her here, into this, but it’s the right thing to do.” 

He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed, “What are my options here with you. I know something happened with Jon, I don’t want to know specifics, trust me I can guess. But what are my options, I leave you, and I lose her. I leave you, and I lose _you_.” 

Sansa inhaled, her lips twitched upwards into a small reassuring smile, “Or, we go home and we work it out. Or,” Sansa sighed and steadied her breath before continuing, “or you leave me. I wouldn’t keep her from you, you’re the only dad she’s known, Harry.” 

\--- 

When Robb finally made it back home that night, he was exhausted. He had spent hours with Jon watching that fucking flash drive, and he was tired. He had done some hard things, made hard decisions for most of his adult life, but as he watched years of his sisters life, years of his _nieces_ life flash before his eyes, it was the hardest thing he’d ever done. 

God, he felt bad for Jon. Watching those videos had nearly broke him, he watched as his friend, _his brother_ tried to maintain control, tried to be strong, but it was too much. Occasionally Jon would have to take a break, he paused the videos and they just sat in silence. When he was ready, he continued. 

Sansa had made a video for Jon, with a message, every year on Lyanna’s birthday, followed by videos and pictures of that year. Everything from her first steps, to her first day of school. They had watched her grow up on the screen tonight. He watched Jon cry as Sansa told him about Harry, not hiding anything from him. 

Robb had texted Margaery and filled her in on what was happening, she was understanding of course. Still, it’s not how he pictured the day after their wedding going. He walked inside and found Margaery on the couch. 

She got up as soon as she heard him and wrapped her arms around him tightly, “I’m sorry I am so late,” he whispered, he felt utterly broken. 

Margaery rubbed his shoulders and smiled at him, “it’s okay, we’ve got out entire lifetime together.” She sighed, “how’s Jon?” 

Robb groaned as he sat on the sofa, “God baby, I don’t know how he didn’t lose it.” 

Margaery sat down beside him and pulled her legs up to her chest, “Is he mad at Sansa?” she sighed. Robb knew this was hard on her too. Finally understanding why Sansa left. 

Robb shook his head, “no, no he’s not. He’s hurt but he’s not mad. You could see how hard that decision was for her, she was so heartbroken, babe.” 

Robb inhaled sharply, “I should’ve been there for her.” He sobbed, for his sister, for his friend, for his family. Margaery wrapped her arms around him but said nothing more, knowing he needed this time, knowing all he needed right now was her. 

\--- 

Jon didn’t get home until almost midnight, even after Robb had left, he watched the videos again trying to burn every smile, every moment into his mind. He avoided the main house when he left, knowing that Sansa was gone. He had so much that he wanted to say, and he knew they would eventually need to talk. He wouldn’t demand rights, he had no right to do so, and it wouldn’t be fair to her, to either or them, but now that he knew she was out there, he needed something more than a video once a year. 

Of course what he wanted was to leave, to fly to Essos and be a family but that wasn’t a possibility. Even if he could leave this life, no questions asked, they had a life now, she had a family. Disrupting that wasn’t an option, he wouldn’t do that to his daughter, she had a dad and from what he saw tonight and as much as he hated to admit it, he was good with her. 

Harry would provide for them, he wouldn’t put them in danger, they would be happy. For the first time, Jon felt guilty about last night. Sansa had asked him to stop pushing, but he knew if he pushed enough, she would come to him. So, he pushed and pushed, until she couldn’t deny him anymore, and in doing so he jeopardized what she and his daughter had. Not that she was fully blameless, she wasn’t, but he knew what he was doing. 

Jon groaned as he finally slipped into bed, determined that tomorrow he would text Sansa and ask if they could speak over the phone. She would be home with their daughter, and they could work out some type of plan. 

Just as Jon closed his eyes his phone beeped, as he looked at the screen his heart stopped. 

**Sansa [12:18 am] – Hey Jon, it’s Sansa. Are you up?**

**Jon [12:19 am] – I am, everything okay?**

**Sansa [12:20 am] – Can you meet me tomorrow for breakfast, at the café downtown?**

**Jon [ 12:20 am] – I thought you flew out tonight?**

**Sansa [12:22 am] – I’ll explain when I see you. 10 am tomorrow?**

Jon didn’t know why she hadn’t left but she was here. Whatever it was she needed to say, he would listen. He wanted to ask her so much, he wanted to hug her and tell her how proud he was of her, but he knew he shouldn’t. He would wait until tomorrow. Instead he agreed to meet her before finally drifting off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know most of you had pegged a hidden baby from the start, let's be fair there are only so many things it could have been!  
> Please be kind, I now this subject matter is touchy for some but I really love this chapter!  
> Please leave your comments and thoughts, was it as emotional for you as it was for me?
> 
> Tumblr : Meganfence


	10. Homecoming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Jon meet to discuss their daughter and are faced with an unexpected visitor. Lyanna arrives at Winterfell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI!  
> The response to last chapter was overwhelming! Thank you!  
> I know the situation is sad for these three, but we're getting there!  
> Also, let's just give Sansa a little bit of a break, what she did, although questionable, she didn't do to be malicious, even her sleeping with Jon wasn't to hurt Harry. She's kind of a mess when it comes to Jon, yes. But again, imperfect characters, right?  
> I hope you enjoy this, it's mostly Jon's POV, which I found really important!

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/619015949981450240/beautifully-unfinished)

When Sansa got to the café Jon was already there, sitting at the back booth in the corner, with two coffees and what looked like two lemon bars in front of him. “Hey, Jon.” She said. 

Jon looked at her as she sat down, shucking off her jacket and sliding in. He looked tired, like he hadn’t slept much, which was understandable because she hadn’t slept much either. 

She smiled and gestured to the lemon bars, “thank you.” 

“Lemon was always your favourite,” he shrugged. He wiped his mouth and took a sip of his coffee, “I thought you were heading home yesterday? I was gonna call you today.” 

“I was supposed to be leaving, but I couldn’t. Not yet.” 

Jon nodded, “and Harry?” 

“He went home.” 

Jon sighed he wasn’t angry with her rather confused, “Sansa, you have to give me a little more here. I’m tired and I don’t understand.” 

She took a deep breath, “Harry went home to get Lyanna.” Jon’s brow furrowed, “She’s never flown before and I didn’t feel comfortable having her fly alone.” 

Jon cleared his throat, “you’re bringing her here?” 

Sansa could see the emotions working over Jon, nerves, confusion but she saw the glimmer in his eye at the thought of meeting her. She nodded, “she deserves to meet her family, she deserves to meet you. Harry is bringing her here, they’ll be here later today. We’re all staying until Friday and then we’re going home.” 

It wasn’t a perfect solution, bringing her here for less than 5 days, but it’s the best they could come up with. Sansa had already missed enough work and Harry was needed back at the hospital. Harry and Sansa had talked for hours before he left, agreeing that Harry would bring her back here and they would leave. Together. They had a lot of shit to work through, and Sansa wasn’t sure Harry would ever forgive her, but their life together, Lyanna, it was enough to make Harry want to try. 

Jon must have figured that Harry was willing to work it out, from the tail end of their conversation that he heard, he guessed Harry knew about what happened two nights ago. “He loves you.” It wasn’t a question, more of an observation. 

Sansa nodded, “he does, I’m not sure he’ll be able to get past what I did though.” She frowned, “did you watch them?” her eyes meeting Jon’s. 

“I did,” he gave a low chuckle, “a couple times actually. She’s, god, she’s something, Sansa.” 

“Jon, there’s one other thing. When she gets here...” Sansa stopped, how do you ask the father of your child not to tell him he’s her father? As if this situation weren’t fucked enough. She felt the tears well up on her eyes. 

Jon reached his hand out and placed it over hers, “Whatever it is, just say it. Hell, it can’t be worse then you have a daughter you know nothing about” he smiled. He was trying to make her feel better, she knew, but all that did was make it worse. 

“Jon, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think there was another way and.” 

“Sansa, we do have a lot to talk about but right now, just finish what you wanted to ask me.” 

She sniffled, “I know this is a lot to ask, I do, but when she gets here. I want to be able to tell her about everything when she’s old enough to understand. Coming here, meeting everyone, meeting you, it’ll be a lot on her. So, for now, can we not tell her who you are? Can you just be Jon?” 

Jon nodded, “I figured that would be the deal for right now anyways. But Sansa, we do need to talk about what we do now. I don’t want to hurt her or hurt you, but I know she exists now. I can’t be a man who knowingly abandons his kid.” 

She knew how hard this would be on him. Is father was awful and left when Jon was too young to understand and just never came back. Not even when his mom died. Social services had found Rhaegar, but he signed away all rights to Jon. Jon found out later he had a new wife, and children, it wasn’t that he didn’t want to be a dad, he simply didn’t want to be Jon’s dad. 

“We’ll talk, we’ll figure it out, I promise.” 

Jon gave her his classic lopsided grin as he took a sip of his coffee, he sat back, “So, do you want to tell me about our girl?” 

Sansa beamed, she could think of nothing better than spending her morning bragging about Lyanna. 

\--- 

Jon listened to Sansa go on about their daughter for hours, she was the proudest parent, and it was adorable. He knew she was afraid of the dark but loved playing with spiders and bugs, Sansa had shown photos of her in a princess costume that she wore everyday for a week. 

The more he talked to Sansa the more he understood, as much as it hurt him to know he had already missed so much. They could go to the park and play without taking a guard with them, they lived in suburbia, their house didn’t need gates or security. They lived a peaceful life where Sansa could walk their daughter to school and let her play in the backyard. It was a better life for a kid, hell it was the only life for a kid. 

Just as Sansa was telling him a story about Lyanna stuffing worms into her pockets the café door opened, and Jon’s blood ran cold. In walked Ramsey with a couple other guys he hadn’t seen before. Jon stood and came to Sansa’s side of the booth, she looked confused but moved further to the inside. It was to late to leave, but Jon could at least put himself between Sansa and Ramsay. 

“Jon, whats-” Sansa asked, looking up at Jon confused. 

Well, well well. Look what the cats dragged in” Jon watched as Sansa’s eyes went wide with fear. There was something about Ramsay’s voice, even Jon could hear the coldness in it. This man was ruthless. 

“What are you doing here, Ramsay?” Jon asked, his hands ready to grab the pistol in the back of his jeans and body rigged, ready for anything that may happen. 

“Ahh Snow, calm down. I saw you two through the window and thought I’d come say hi.” He bent his body to look more closely at Sansa. “Sansa.” The way he said her name made Jon sick, it was cold and hungry. 

Jon growled, “leave, Ramsay. This isn’t the place. You don’t want to fuck with her.” 

“You sure about that?” he gave a sick grin but before Jon could respond he continued, “hey, how’s Greyjoy? I heard he had some trouble last week.” 

Jon was just about throw the first punch when he felt Sansa’s hand pull on his bicep. He looked at her, she had stood and grabbed her jacket. Gently tugging him to leave she said, “Jon, let’s go. Let’s just go, okay?” her voice was worried but stern, she was serious about them leaving. 

Jon grabbed her hand and led her past Ramsay, being sure to keep himself between them. Ramsay chuckled as they got to the door, “I’ll see you soon, Sansa.” 

Jon wanted nothing more than to go inside and beat the absolute shit out of Ramsay fucking Bolton, and he could too, Ramsay could never take him in a fight, but when he looked at Sansa and saw how scared she was, how she was trembling when she all but dragged him towards her rental car, all traces of rage subsided. 

He tugged on her arm a bit to get her to stop and pulled her in for a hug. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, engulfing her, her hands instantly clung to his leather jacket. “Hey, hey. It’s okay.” 

“I hate this Jon,” her voice hitched, “there is something wrong with him. Something isn’t right.” 

“I know Sansa,” Jon paused and sighed, he pulled back slightly so he could look at her, “as much as I hate it, I don’t know if bringing her here right now is the best idea.” 

Sansa shook her head, “It’s too late, Jon. Their flight took off,” she looked at her phone, “it took off 5 minutes ago, even if they were delayed there’s no way to get a hold of them” 

For the first time, Jon truly got it. Like really, really understood. The thought that his daughter was on her way here, when her mom just got threatened in a local coffee shop full of witnesses. It scared Jon to death. He wanted nothing more than to meet her, and see Sansa with their child, but the thought of her being in any type of danger made him sick. 

Jon grabbed Sansa’s hand and continued to the car, “Let’s go, we need to talk to your dad about what happened and get more security at Winterfell before she gets here. I don’t think you should go to the airport, it would be safer if it were just a few guards, since Harry is with her.” He was rambling and hadn’t realized she had stopped, “What? Do you want me to drive, give me your keys.” 

“You’re coming to Winterfell?” 

“Uhm, yes? We need to talk to your da- oh FUCK!” during all of the commotion Jon had completely forgotten about punching Ned in the face yesterday. He groaned, he had no choice but to face this now, because it wasn’t about him and his shit, it was about Sansa and their daughter but he had hoped he could avoid facing Ned for a couple of days. 

“I’ll drive, Sansa. I’ll deal with your Dad after we tell him what happened.” 

Ned would deal with Ramsay and making sure his daughter and granddaughter were safe despite what happened last night, Jon knew this. Still though, Ned was the boss, surrogate son or not, Jon had crossed a line. He didn’t necessarily regret crossing the line, but he shouldn’t have crossed it either way. Ned could be a cold son of a bitch and Jon had seen what he had done to men for much less. 

Jon wasn’t afraid of Ned, but as far as honour and loyalty to the family went, Jon fucked with that and that’s a problem because without trust in this life, you have nothing. _He broke my trust too,_ Jon mused, but he understood that despite everything Ned’s loyalty would come to his children first, and Jon wasn’t his son. Jon wasn’t anyone’s son. 

\--- 

Just as Jon thought, Ned instantly went on the defensive with Ramsay. For him to openly accost Sansa in a public place and subtly threaten her with Jon right there, that was a brazen move, and he pissed off the entire Stark family and everyone who was loyal to them. Ramsay’s days were numbered, now they just needed to make sure they kept Sansa and Lyanna safe until he could be dealt with. 

Additional guards would be added to Winterfell for as long as they were here, neither Sansa, Lyanna or Harry would go anywhere without the protection of the family. Sandor and Gendry would pick Harry and Lyanna up from the airport in two hours. Sansa going could draw attention to Lyanna if she were to be followed, it was safer if she were just brought directly to the Winterfell and met Sansa here. 

“Sansa, you can leave, Jon and I need to talk. We’ll meet you downstairs when we’re finished.” Ned was speaking to Sansa but starred directly at Jon. Jon boldly held his stare but could feel Sansa’s gaze shifting between them. He lightly placed a hand on her knee and squeezed and she left. 

Ned sat back, fingers intertwined together. The man was imposing and intimidating. He demanded respect and even though he showed his softer side occasionally, he was ruthless when he needed to be. He said nothing and Jon’s palms started to sweat. “Listen, Ned.” 

Ned raised his hand to silence him and leaned forward onto his desk. “I have allowed you a lot of liberties, Jon. First because of your friendship with my son, then because you became apart of this family, not the business, the family and finally, because my daughter loves you.” 

_loves not loved_ , “Ned, listen” 

Ned’s hand slammed down on the desk, “stop talking.” His tone demanded obedience. “What happened yesterday will never happen again. Not ever.” He took a deep breath. 

“I am only ever going to say this once, Jon. So, listen and listen good.” Jon prepared himself to be chewed and spit back out, he took a deep breath and looked at Ned. “I will not apologize for what I did. As a father, I’m sure you understand that.” Jon blinked, not what he was expecting. 

“You’re angry, you’re hurt. I saw what all these emotions did to you that last time, six years ago and you got yourself into a lot of shit with a lot of people that _we_ had to clean up for you. I need your assurances that will never happen again. Not now, not that you know you have a little girl who deserves better, whether she knows you or not.” 

Jon thought back to six years ago, when Sansa left, he was so pissed all the time, he was either drunk or hurting people. Both sometimes. When he wasn’t, he was fucking his way through a long list of girls who reminded him nothing of Sansa. It was irresponsible, dangerous and immature, but its how he coped. 

“Jon, you need to be better. For them. _Both_ of them.” 

Jon nodded, “Understood.” Ned dismissed him and as Jon left the office, he was reminded of what Sansa said to him last Friday, when they fought by the beach. _You stopped noticing me._ He hadn’t understood it before, but he got it now. Sansa would have been around 2 months pregnant when she left, he was with her every night and he noticed nothing. He used to know he body better than anyone, every curve, every shiver. Yet, he noticed nothing. 

Physical signs aside, he didn’t realize she was dealing with anything emotionally. Now thinking back there were so many signs she was struggling. She was distant and withdrawn, they were less intimate. Even with all the shit he did, he always knew he could come home to Sansa, her body and being buried inside of it was his redemption, even though she hated what he did, she was always willingly that salvation for him, but that had stopped too, before she left. 

He should have noticed, maybe not the pregnancy, but he should have noticed something. He failed her, he stopped seeing her, or maybe somewhere deep down he did notice but was too selfish and too scared to acknowledge it. 

Jon found Sansa in the kitchen, she smiled at him, “Well, you’re alive at least.” 

Jon laughed and raised his eyebrows as he joined her at the island. She looked at him, “Everyone is coming for dinner tonight, to meet her. Do you,” Sansa looked away and said hesitantly, “do you want to come? They’ll be here in a couple hours?” 

He wanted to stay, of course. The thought of having to wait until tomorrow sucked, but he asked, “Do _you_ want me to stay? I don’t want to make things awkward with Harry or take away from your families time either.” Jon wondered how shitty it was going to feel, seeing his daughter for the first time and introducing himself as Jon, seeing her with him. As excited as he was, that part was going to suck. 

Sansa nodded, “I would like you to stay. I already told Harry I would be inviting you, and mom assumed. It might make it easier, if we just do it all at once?” 

Jon smiled, “of course I’ll stay, Sansa” 

\--- 

Sansa was humbled, although she wasn’t sure why, but she was humbled by her family tonight. Which doesn’t really make sense, because of course they would be excited about her daughter, but the were really, _really_ excited. This life, the life affects every single one of them in different ways, it can harden you, make you cold as a way of protecting yourself and the ones you loved. And she had seen it here and there, they effect it’s had on Robb over the years, and Ned. Even more recently to see how wild and crazy Rickon cares just a little bit less. But tonight? No one gave a damn about anything except meeting Lyanna. It was humbling and beautiful. 

Sansa laughed at Rickon, Robb and Gendry arguing over who would be the better uncle. Seeing these grown ass men so excited to meet this little girl. It was adorable. Rickon, with the help of Shireen Sansa was sure, although he denies it, had gone out and got her a gift, Arya told her that Gendry had come home with a unicorn pool float, and Robb was already bragging about how amazing she was – he hadn’t even met her yet. Sansa couldn’t help but smile. 

Although there was this gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. Knowing that Ramsay was still fixated on her and that it wasn’t safe, yet she was bringing her here. The whole point of doing what she did was to keep her out of this, forever. She would’ve cancelled the trip had she known Ramsay hadn’t backed off, there would have been no compromise and they would have figured out some other time for introductions, but it was too late after Ramsay showed up in the coffee shop. 

It’ll be okay though, Sansa mused. Everyone here down to Tormund and Theon would protect her with their lives. Not to mention, Winterfell Estate was massive, they had a pool, the shore, a forest. The list of things for them to do and play were endless, they could keep her safe here for four and a half days. Sansa smiled to herself, knowing getting Lyanna out of the water would be impossible and she would be more than content to swim everyday. 

“Sans?” Sansa turned to see Margaery standing behind her. Sansa smiled. 

“Hey, sister. How does it feel to be a Stark?” Sansa paused and frowned, “I’m sorry we kind of ruined your after-wedding day bliss.” 

Margaery waved her hand, “Pshh, don’t worry about it. There is nothing to apologize for anyways.” Margaery stopped and looked at Robb, who was helping Gendry blow up the unicorn pool float and laughed, something about it sounded off to Sansa. 

Sansa out her hand on Margaery’s shoulder, “Everything okay?” Margaery immediately shook her head and Sansa could see she was barely holding it together. “Let’s go inside, we don’t need to talk about this here.” Obviously, whatever it was, Margaery didn’t want to draw attention to herself in front of everyone. They went inside and headed to the kitchen, Sansa grabbed two glasses of lemonade and waited for Margaery to begin, when she was ready. 

Sansa watched as Margaery composed herself, it was the one thing Sansa always envied her for, her ability to mask her emotions. She took a deep breath, “Did you ever consider not going, Sansa? Did you consider raising the baby here, with Jon, in this life?” 

Sansa considered the question before answering her, “Yes, but also no. Yes, because obviously when I found out this whole life of Jon and I, and our baby came to mind. Us happy, a little family, maybe a dog?” Sansa laughed slightly, “but, that dream didn’t last long. It’s like this beautiful thought was suddenly strewed with stray bullets and blood and danger. I knew no matter how much I wanted that white picket fence with Jon, it wasn’t possible, and I knew I couldn’t raise her in this.” 

Margaery nodded thoughtfully, “do you think its wrong. You know, if people do? Do you think its selfish?” 

Sansa cocked her head to the side, confused by the question and why Margaery was so upset minutes ago, “Marg, I don’t understand?” 

Margaery turned, “Sansa, I’m pregnant.” 

Sansa’s jaw dropped and she hugged her, “Congratulations! Margaery that’s amazing!” Sansa felt Margaery remain rigged and pulled back, her hands stayed on Margaery’s shoulders, “Marg? What is it? What’s wrong?” 

She sniffled, “my IUD failed.” 

Sansa’s brow furrowed, “you don’t want kids? Robb always said kids were part of the plan?” 

Margaery scrunched her nose up, trying to keep from crying, “of course I want kids, but I never really thought about it, having kids in this life, raising kids like this. I dreamt of kids, and Robb and white picket fences…” 

“but now it’s strewed with bullets and blood and danger,” Sansa finished, repeating her earlier words. 

Margaery sobbed and nodded, “what do I do now, Sansa? I’m married in, and I know you did it but I couldn’t imagine not having Robb with me for this. But how do I raise a baby like this. Theon was shot less than a week ago, do you know where Robb was? Standing right beside him, Sansa. That bullet was inches away from my husband.” 

Sansa hugged her, “how far along are you?” 

Margaery shrugged as she cried, “The doctor said 6 to 8 weeks, it’s the best they could tell through blood work. I had to do bloodwork so we could go on our honeymoon to Dorne, to get my immunizations. I didn’t even know I was pregnant, it never occurred to me there was even a chance, until my doctor called me this morning.” 

Sansa didn’t know what to say, she understood all too well what Margaery was going through. You don’t think about it, when you’re raised in the families, you don’t think about what it all means. You have dreams of college, and actual jobs and families, just like anyone else, even though you’ll never live that life. Once Sansa got pregnant and she thought about it she realized she wouldn’t do that to her child. Sansa pulled back from Margaery and cupped her face, ‘hey, look at me. You are not a bad mom for raising your child with your husband, and in this life.” 

“How can you say that, when you left? You don’t mean it.” Margaery looked so defeated, unable to school her emotions. It was like looking in a mirror for Sansa, the fear. 

“No, its different, you’re married, I was so young. Jon was so young. It’s different.” Sansa didn’t want Margaery to think she would judge her for this choice. She could see it in he face, that she wanted to leave and get out. But it was impossible for her now, she’s married in, she wouldn’t be able to sneak away like Sansa did. 

Margaery looked her dead in the eye, “If you were older, would’ve you have stayed? Would it have made a difference to you?” 

Sansa swallowed, knowing Margaery would see right through her if she lied and she was asking for the truth. 

“no.” 

\--- 

To say Jon was nervous would be a great understatement, to see his daughter for the first time, to see his 5-year-old daughter who he just learned about for the first time? It was overwhelming. Almost everyone had come to Winterfell today. Jon was late, the nerves getting the better of him. He felt like such a girl when he changed his shirt three times due to nerves. He had wanted to get her something, but how could he? Gendry had texted him the unicorn float he’d gotten her – but he was her uncle. Rickon had picked something up – but he was her uncle. Jon was no one – he was her father, but he was no one. 

Robb came over a put his hand on Jon’s shoulder, Jon took a sip of the lemonade Catelyn had given him when he arrived, god how he wished it were spiked. “You ready?” Robb asked. 

“Nope. But I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Jon looked at Robb who smiled. 

Just as Robb was about to say something, they heard the gates open. Robb smiled and patted Jon on the back, turning towards the house he shouted “Hey Sans! I think your girl is here.” 

The look on Sansa’s face when she emerged from the house took his breath away. God, she was stunning, there was no missing the look of pure joy on her face. Sansa Stark was beautiful, but Sansa Stark as a mom? Jon wasn’t sure there was anything more beautiful. At least, until her saw his daughter. 

He watched as this little girl scrambled from the large SUV, she was tiny and just a mess of black hair. He watched as Sansa scooped her up and twirled her around, smiling as she asked her about her flight. “I got to see the pilot, mama!” Never, never will he forget the first time he heard her voice. 

He watched as Harry came around the vehicle, carrying a little pink backpack and a white stuffed animal. A white wolf stuffed animal. _Just like the dog I had growing up_. He watched as Harry put his arm around Sansa and kissed the crown of her head as he patted Lyanna’s hair. They looked like the perfect family. It broke Jon’s heart, but also comforted him knowing they were okay. Okay without him. 

Sansa held Lyanna’s hand as the walked over to everyone, Harry lingered behind giving them their space to do this. Sansa hadn’t been kidding when she said Lyanna knew their names, she knew Robb and Margaery, Rickon but not Shireen, Arya and Gendry. Jon was impressed that Cat held it together as well as she had when Lyanna called her grandma. She even knew Ygritte and Tormund, although she called him ‘Toe-mund’, which Jon is sure is a nickname that will stick. 

Jon swallowed as Sansa led Lyanna over to him, he could feel everyone staring at the two of them. He knew Lyanna wouldn’t know his name, Sansa never told her about him, and Jon was pretty certain Sansa didn’t have photos of him scattering their house. He could already see how smart she was and polite, she hadn’t missed one opportunity to say please or thank you. She looked up at him with his big black eyes and he bent down to her level, Sansa’s hands laid gently on her little shoulders. 

She smiled, “I don’t know your name, but I seen you in the pictures,” Jon’s eyes shot to Sansa’s, who smiled and her cheeks blushed slightly, she nodded. “Right mama? From the picture book?” 

Sansa smiled at her and nodded, “that’s right, baby.” 

Lyanna looked at him again, and Jon smiled. Jesus Christ, he didn’t know it was possible to love this much this quickly. Her little hand came up to touch his cheek, Jon swallowed, forcing himself to hold it together. 

Lyanna giggled, “I have eyes like you.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anddddddd, cue tears.  
> I don't know about you, but that ending line though? Oof.  
> Please leave your comments and let me know if you gave you the same feels I got! 
> 
> tumblr : meganfence


	11. Real Danger

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi Lovlies,  
> You'll notice the chapter count has changed, as we near the end of our little story! So buckle up, 3 more chapters to go!

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/619386170021920769/beautifully-unfinished)

_“Mama, what’s this?”_

_Sansa walked out of the ensuite to find Lyanna sitting on the bed with an old photo album. “Where’d you find that?”_

_“The back of your closet,” Lyanna smiled proudly, Sansa laughed. She knew exactly what album it was, but she had forgotten about it. “What is it, Mama?”_

_Sansa sat on the bed beside Lyanna, gently taking the book and opening it up, “this is a scrapbook, baby. From when mommy was a lot younger.”_

_“Can we look at it?” Lyanna asked as she ran her finger over the book._

_Sansa smiled, “sure.” It was a scrapbook Sansa had made her last year of high school. She and Lyanna spent the next hour flipping through it, pictures of Jeyne, Ygritte and Margaery littered the pages. Sansa fondly ran her hand over a picture of the four of them, she missed them, a lot._

_“Mama, who is this?” Lyanna’s little voice brought Sansa back from her memories, she looked down to the picture in Lyanna’s hand._

_It was like she was looking at a ghost, her tiny little hands holding a picture of Jon. The picture was taken on Sansa’s graduation day, his arm around her shoulders, smiling at the camera as Sansa beamed up at him. She knew this wasn’t part of the scrapbook, she had left all photos of Jon behind, except for the ones in her safety deposit box, the ones she would show Lyanna eventually. Sansa cleared her throat, “Where’d you get this?”_

_Lyanna pointed to the cover, the photo must have been tucked inside. “Who is this, mama?”_

_Sansa swallowed, “his name is Jon, baby. He is your uncle Robb’s best friend.” Sansa tried to slowly take the picture from Lyanna but her little grip tightened._

_“Mama, he has eyes like me”_

\--- 

Jon watched as Lyanna ran around the backyard, playing with her aunts and uncles, riding around on Tormund’s shoulders. Jon smiled, this is what it feels like to feel proud of something, Jon mused. He was lost in watching them all that he hadn’t noticed Harry come up beside him.

“She really is something, isn’t sure?” Harry said, breaking Jon’s thoughts. 

Jon turned to him, “She is, I guess I should thank you. You guys have raised an amazing little girl.” 

Harry chuckled, “I would love to take credit for her, I really would. I didn’t come around until she was two, by that time she was already singing her please and thank yous. She is all Sansa’s doing.” 

Jon nodded slowly, “Do you love her?” He asked as he looked at Sansa and Lyanna. 

“which one?” 

Jon looked at Harry, “both, I guess.” 

“I do. Lyanna is, well she’s amazing, and she may not be mine, but I love her like she is. With Sansa. I do. I love her. I know something happened between you two at the wedding and it’s taking all my control not to punch you in the face.” Harry looked at Jon and he looked to the ground. “and it may make me fucking whipped, I know, but I love her, and I love our family.” 

Jon takes in what Harry said before he cleared his throat, “I don’t really know what to say. Part of me wants to thank you, for taking care of them. Another part of me wishes you were a complete asshole, so I’d have a reason to step in.” 

Harry laughed, “Yeah man. Trust me. I know the feeling.” He looked at Jon knowingly. 

“Why didn’t you say anything to Sansa? You knew who I was, why didn’t you say anything?” 

Harry shrugged, “part of me was waiting to see if Sansa would tell me and part of me wanted to ignore it so we could go home and put the trip behind us.” Harry paused and looked Jon in the eye, “Jon, she has _never_ stopped loving you. We were friends before we started dating and I asked her out. First, she said no because of who her family was, then she said no because of Lyanna’s father.” 

Jon looked at Harry confused, brows furrowed, “okay?” 

“Before she even said it, I knew how deeply she loved him, loved you, I guess. I told her then that I understood and that if she ever loved me more than she loved him, you, to tell me. Jon, 4 years later and she’s never said it. I know she loves me, I know it, but you? You’re a piece of her, and not even just because of Lyanna. If you pull at her enough, I don’t know that she’ll be able to resist you.” 

Jon couldn’t fully understand what he was saying, “How do you?” he tried, “Why do you?” he tried again. 

Harry chuckled, “How do I deal with it? I love her, I think I may love her as deeply as she loves you. But I am asking you, Jon. Back off. I would never try and keep you out of Lyanna’s life but let Sansa go. We have a good life back home, it’s safe. Can you offer them the same?” With that Harry clapped Jon on the back and walked over to Sansa. _Could I offer them the same?_

\--- 

Later, Jon sat on the concrete patio steps, looking out at his friends and family. He definitely had a new respect for Harry, he was every bit the good guy he appeared to be. As much as Jon wanted to be with Sansa and their daughter, Harry was a decent replacement. 

Jon was lost in his thoughts of Sansa and Lyanna when he saw her emerge from the house. She had her hair in braids and was wearing pink footie pajamas, carrying her white wolf. Sansa had taken her inside to get ready for bed. She sat down beside Jon, and he looked down and smiled. “and who is this?” he asked, gently taking the wold from her and holding it in front of him. 

“That’s ghost!” 

Jon took a deep breath, no way it’s a coincidence, Jon’s mom had gotten a white husky for Jon the Christmas before she passed, She knew she was sick then, Jon didn’t, and she wanted Jon to have someone to comfort him and be there for him. When she passed Jon and Ghost came to live with the Stark’s. Jon was so withdrawn for a while, but Ghost was always there for him, _mans best friend._ Although Ghost much preferred the company of Sansa after a while, who could blame him? 

“Ghost, huh?” Who came up with that?” 

“Mama did! She said ghost would always protect me. Sandor said it’s because he’s white like a ghost, he says Mama has no imagination.” She giggled. 

Jon smiled, “I bet he calls you little bird too.” 

Lyanna laughed, “noooo, Mama is little bird. He calls me tiny bird!” she smiled proudly at Jon. 

Jon nodded thoughtfully, “hmm, I don’t know. I don’t think you’re a bird at all.” 

Lyanna frowned, “whattt, whyyyy.” 

Jon smirked, “I think you’re a wolf,” he handed the toy back to her, “just like your mama.” 

Lyanna beamed up at Jon and leaned into him, she whispered, “a wolf is so much better than a bird.” 

Jon laughed and kissed the top of her head before he ushered her inside to where Sansa was waiting to put her to bed, Jon glanced back and looked at Sansa, he knew she heard their conversation, her eyes were watery but she smiled and mouthed ‘thank you,’ as she led Lyanna upstairs. 

\--- 

As Sansa slowly closed the door to the guest bedroom, Jon’s words played on repeat in her mind. _You’re a wolf, just like your mama._ It wasn’t some grand proclamation of love, but Sansa knew the meaning behind it. _My wolf_ , he used to call her. Fierce, loyal and part of the pack. Jon and she were a pack, he used to say. Family forever. 

Sansa leaned back against the closed door and closed her eyes. They would figure it out, she wouldn’t keep Jon from his daughter, but she needed to figure out how to do it properly. Eventually, Sansa would tell Lyanna who Jon was, that was always the plan and that may be easier if they have a relationship. But they still needed to consider Jon and who he was, what he did. His world was dangerous, and Sansa would never jeopardize Lyanna’s safety, at least not anymore than she already had by her being here. 

Sansa’s phone chimed, and she looked down to see Margaery had texted her. 

**Margaery [9:07pm] – Hi friend, I know there is a lot going on right now for you. I have my ultrasound tomorrow, I still haven’t told anyone else. Can we meet for coffee afterwards? I really need someone to talk too.**

**Sansa [9:08 pm] – Yes, of course! Whatever you need!**

It wasn’t the best timing, leaving Lyanna and leaving Winterfell, Sansa knew that, but she knew what Margaery was going through better than anyone and how hard it was to have no one to talk to. She wasn’t home for much longer, but while she was, she would be there for her. 

Sansa sighed, there was no way anyone would let her leave without protection, not with Ramsay still out there. She knew there was only one person she trusted enough to come, so she headed down to the clubhouse, finding Sandor exactly where she knew he’d be. 

“Hey, Little Bird,” Sandor said, removing his glasses and leaned back in the chair. 

“Hi,” Sansa smiled. 

Sandor narrowed his eyes and smirked, ‘what do you want, Sansa?” Sansa smiled, “I know you well enough to know when you want something.” 

“I need you to come into town with me tomorrow, for coffee with Marg.” 

Sandor nodded, “okay, and?” 

Sansa sighed, “anddd, I need you to keep whatever you hear private.” 

Sandor groaned, “Sansa, haven’t I kept enough of your secrets?” 

“It’s not my secret this time, Sandor. Please?” 

Sandor sat forward and chuckled, “alright LB, but you owe me a god damn cookie.” 

Sansa laughed and extended her hand to him, “deal!” 

\---

Sansa and Sandor were already at the bistro when Margaery arrived. She had texted Sansa about doing lunch instead of coffee because she was starving. Although her appetite diminished a little after her appointment. Seven weeks pregnant. Even though her bloodwork confirmed it, seeing the little blip on the ultrasound was a whole new level of confirmation. 

Pregnant. 

A baby. 

A baby in the mob. 

A baby whose father was almost shot last week. 

She’d always wanted to be a mom, but never really thought about what it would mean to have kids in this world. Which was naïve, really. Not to think about the two simultaneously. She knew Sansa understood, even though their situations were drastically different. She walked over to the table Sansa was at as she waved to Sandor, who was sitting at the bistro bar, eating a cookie and reading the paper. 

They ordered their lunch and chatted about lighter topics until Margaery was finally ready to talk about it. She knew Sansa wasn’t going to bring it up, she would let Margaery talk when she was ready, if she was ready. Margaery took the ultrasound photo from her purse and slid it across the table to Sansa. 

Sansa took the photo and ran her finger along it. She looked up with a watery smile, “Margaery, congratulations.” 

Margaery smiled and took back the picture, he lips turned downwards, “What do I do, Sansa? How do I do this?” 

Sansa sighed, “for starters, you should tell Robb. He’s here, he loves you and he’ll support you. Trust me, you’ll want his support.” 

Margaery wanted nothing more than to tell Robb. She did, and she would, but the second she does it becomes… real? Although it’s already real, but the outcome of what it all means becomes real. Their child would always be in danger, all of Westeros would know who he or she was by name alone. _Stark._ The very real possibility that Margaery could one day become a single mother. 

Sansa continued, “then you let yourself be happy. You will figure it out, and you’re allowed to be happy. Leaving wasn’t easy, making the decision to leave wasn’t easy and it wasn’t easy doing it alone, even if that was my choice. You have Robb, and you’ll need him.” 

Margaery wasn’t sure what she wanted. Ideally her and Robb would leave, leave this life, gets jobs, buy a house, maybe get a dog, and raise their child. That wasn’t a possibility though, at least not now. Being married in and Robb being groomed as the next head Stark. It wasn’t Ned’s fault either, he was raised in this life too, it was his duty, just like Margaery and her parents. The only one not raised in this was Jon. It was a fucked up endless cycle and so far, the only one to break it had been Sansa. But at what cost? She had isolated herself, keeping her family at arms length, she lost the love of her life. 

Sansa had made huge sacrifices to break the wheel. 

\--- 

Sansa could see that how Margaery was struggling, and she knew the turmoil she was facing. It took Sansa two weeks before she finally asked Ned for help. Two weeks after she found out she was pregnant of struggling with the idea of staying or the risk of leaving. It wasn’t a decision she came to easily. 

Sansa excused herself to the ladies room, she was feeling overwhelmed and the last thing Margaery needed was Sansa’s emotions. 

Sansa had just splashed water on her face when the washroom door opened, and she heard a very familiar ‘ _click_ ’ of a gun’s safety being removed. She paused and slowly looked up. 

_Ramsay._

He smiled a cold and cruel smile and shrugged, “Hello, Sansa.” The way he said he name made her blood run cold. 

Sansa turned slowly, “what are you doing here, Ramsay?” 

He grinned, “I’m here to pick you up for our date. So, this is what’s going to happen, you and I are going to walk very quietly out of this room to the back exit at the end of the hall. Quietly but quickly, so your dog doesn’t hear us, and then we’ll finally have some alone time.” 

Sansa swallowed, “no.” 

“ah ah ah, that’s not very polite, Sansa.” Ramsay stepped closer and just as Sansa was about to yell for help, he swiftly lunged and covered her mouth with his hand and turned he so her back was pressed into his chest, she felt the hard barrel of a gun pushed into her lower back. Ramsay snarled, “Don’t be a bitch. Now, walk.” 

Sansa knew she couldn’t go with him, he would kill her and from what she had heard about him it wouldn’t be quick. Sansa glanced at the door, it was a push door, if he could get to it, even if she could only push it open slightly and yell, Sandor would hear her. Sansa shifted and bit his hand, _hard_ , on the soft skin between thumb and index finger. Ramsay drew back slightly, and Sansa pushed off him, lunging for the door. 

Ramsay was quicker than she expected, and he grabbed the back of her hair in a second and yanked her back to him. 

“you fucking bitch,” he growled as he backhanded her across the face. Sansa cried out as he gripped her hair at her scalp and pulled her head back to look at him. “You think I’m going to make it that easy on you? Oh no, Sansa. I am going to make you hurt.” 

His hand gripped her hair tighter and Sansa whimpered, “please.” 

Ramsay drew back and hit her across the face with the pistol, she fell to the ground, “shut the fuck up. No more talking. Now get up and walk to the fucking door.” 

Sansa stood, and Ramsay kept a bruising grip on her arm, gun pointed at her head when suddenly the bathroom door swung open. Sandor was standing in the doorway with his gun aimed on Ramsay. 

“Ahhh, the loyal mutt finally arrives. Such a good doggy,” Ramsay said in a sickening baby voice. 

Sandor snarled, “let her go asshole, or I’ll drop you.” Sandor stepped closer to them. “Even if you kill her, I will still shoot you, if you don’t let her go, I don’t see how you’re getting out of here alive.” 

The grip in her hair tightened and Sansa cried out, she saw Sandor grimace. “this is what we’re going to do, mutt.” 

“No.” Sandor interrupted, “this is what’s going to happen. I’m going to back up a bit, you’re going to walk forward with her, out of the washroom. You’ll give her to me and walk out the back door.” 

Ramsay scoffed, “You think I’m dumb enough to believe that you’ll let me walk out of here if I just hand her over?” Sansa swore she could hear something resembling fear in his voice. 

Sandor chuckled darkly, “No, I think you’re dumb enough to go after Sansa Stark at all and expect her family being okay with me giving you a quick death. They will kill you but trust me, Ned, Robb, Jon? They’ll make you suffer first and it’ll be a lot more than the black eye you’ve given her. Now let her go.” 

Ramsay gestured with his gun towards the hall, “back up then.” Sandor stepped back as Ramsay stepped forward, matching step for step. When Ramsay felt he was close enough to the back exit he leaned down and whispered in Sansa’s ear, “Tell your family I look forward to seeing them and Sansa? I’ll see you again soon.” 

Ramsay roughly pushed Sansa into Sandor, who caught her with ease as she lost her footing and stumbled. Her head fucking ached, she could feel her eye swelling and taste the blood from her split lip. She cried as she gripped Sandor’s sleeve. 

He smoothed down her hair and kissed her temple, “it’s okay, lets get you home.” 

\--- 

By the time Jon got to Winterfell he had worked himself into a rage. He knew Ramsay was bold, but to attack Sansa in public with a guard only a few feet away, that was just fucking stupid. God knows what could have happened if Ramsay had managed to get her out that door, into what Jon guessed was a vehicle waiting to drive away. Jon had heard rumours about what the sick fuck did, especially to women, the mere thought that he had his grubby paws on Sansa made him sick. 

When he’d gotten to the clubhouse most senior members were already inside, along with Sansa and Harry, Jon had seen Cat and Lyanna playing in the yard on his way in. Sansa’s eyes were red from crying, her right eye was already black and blue, and her lip was red and swollen. Jon wanted nothing more than to go to her, hold her, comfort her but he didn’t – couldn’t. 

“How the hell did this happen?” he asked, sitting on the arm of the sofa beside Robb. 

“Cunt attacked her in the ladies room,” Sandor answered, which Robb had already filled him in on when he called. Jon wanted to know why the fuck Ramsay wasn’t dead, although the knowledge that he would get to partake in the very painful retaliation against Ramsay bought him joy. “Lucky I didn’t fucking kill him,” Sandor muttered. 

“It wasn’t the time or the place, Sandor. He will get what’s coming to him, trust me.” Ned looked at Harry and Sansa. “In the meantime, until Ramsay and the Bolton’s are dealt with, Sansa isn’t safe here or in Essos, not alone. As far as we can tell he doesn’t know about Lyanna, he is bold, but he isn’t particularly smart. I’m sending Sandor and Tormund home with you, until we deal with Ramsay.” 

Harry cleared his throat, “Ned, I appreciate it but I am a respected Doctor in the community, I want Sansa and Lyanna safe, but I can’t have some huge mobster with a gun following me around,” He turned to Tormund, “no offence.” 

Robb stood, “we get that, but if he finds a way to track you home, he will find out about Lyanna, and trust me if that happens, you’ll want both of them there with you.” 

Jon’s jaw clenched, everything in him wanted to say it should be him going home with them, him keeping them safe. The mere thought of Ramsay anywhere near either of them? Well, Ramsay was going to wish he were dead after this. 

He looked at Sansa, who was looking back at him, he could see how shaken she was. _This is what she left behind, this danger, the pain._

Sansa sighed and closed her eyes, “on that note, we’ve talked and the longer we stay here the more time he has to track us, get to me or prepare to follow us home. We are leaving first thing Wednesday morning, it was the first flight I could get all five of us on.” 

No one said a word as they looked between Jon and Sansa. Jon was the first to speak, “I need a minute with Sansa,” Jon’s eyes stayed glued to hers as everyone started leaving. Harry lingered, “Harry, you can stay. If you want.” 

Harry considered it for a minute, before ultimately shaking his head and sighing, “No, you two should talk. I’ll be at the house.” 

After he left, Sansa and Jon stayed in silence for a bit before Sansa finally spoke, “Jon, I’m sorry. It’s not safe here, I shouldn’t have brought her here at all and after what happened at the coffee shop, I should have put them on a flight home as soon as they landed. But, but after what happened-” Sansa broke apart. Jon was there in an instant and he pulled her into him. 

He soothed her, “it’s okay, Sansa. It’s okay.” 

Sansa clutched the back on Jon’s shirt in her fists, “I was so scared, Jon. I don’t want that for her. Not ever, to feel that find of fear or hurt. I promise we will figure out how to keep you involved. I promise.” 

Jon shook his head, “I know, Sansa. I know. I trust you.” Jon pulled back to look at her, hid heart broke at the sight of her bruised and swollen face. Before he could stop himself, he cupped the side of her face, gently rubbing his thumb over her cheek, “gods, baby. Look at you.” 

Sansa leaned into his touch, and he promised, “Sansa, I promise. I will end him. I will keep you both safe and he will never hurt you again, either of you.” 

Sansa sobbed, “Jon, he is so fucked up. If you go after him, you’ll be in so much danger. You all will be.” She looked up a him with her sad blue eyes, “I don’t want you to get hurt.” 

Jon leaned forward and rested his forehead on hers, he wanted to kiss her and tell her she would never lose him, but he wouldn’t, he couldn’t. He pulled back and placed a lingering kiss on her forehead before he pulled away completely. 

Sans blushed at the intimacy of it all, “I uhm, I spoke with my mom about our plans to leave before we came out here. She wants to do a shore day tomorrow, for Lyanna, like when we were kids.” Sansa shrugged and laughed a little, _God, I love you._

“Sansa, I’ll be there.” She hadn’t asked, but he knew she was trying to. She beamed up at him, _I’ll never get tired of that smile._

“I should go check on Lyanna and find some frozen peas.” She gestured to her face and turned to leave, “bye, Jon.” 

Jon nodded, _Bye, my love._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love reading everyone's comments, please keep them coming :)
> 
> tumblr - meganfence


	12. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa and Jon have a much needed conversation before they leave and Jon makes a life changing decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyone loves this chapter as much as I do, man was it tough to write. The emotions are high in this one!  
> Huge thanks to T for all your help, this one wouldn't be what it is without our talks!!

[ PICSET ](https://meganfence.tumblr.com/post/619685204091600896/beautifully-unfinished)

_It was a beautiful day, a near perfect day_. Sansa thought as she watched the waves roll off the coast.

She remembered vividly as a child when Cat would plan these days, it was her attempt at some normalcy as a family, for the kids Sansa was sure. Sansa could see it now, the extremes she had gone through to give them some normalcy in life.

The coast was a few minutes from their property, and as children, they would come and play here often, but these days things were always different.

Sansa watched as Robb, Margaery, Theon and Jeyne laughed at Gendry and Arya wresting in the water.

Gendry made the mistake of thinking he would ever get the upper hand on Arya, Sansa often thought Arya was some kind of hidden assassin, she was ruthless.

Harry was talking with Ned, probably about Sandor and Tormund coming home with them, Sansa thought.

Cat and Lyanna were building a sandcastle. Sansa realized that this is what she’s been missing, this is what Lyanna had missed out on - her family.

Just as Sansa was standing to join her mom and daughter, Jon came up beside her.

“Hey, Sans.”

She turned and smiled but noticed he looked conflicted.

She cocked her head to the side, “Everything okay?”

Jon nodded, “I need to talk with you before you leave, maybe we could take a walk?”

Sansa agreed and after telling her mother where they were going, they headed off to the path through the forest that led to the coastal peak. Thankfully, Harry had been too busy with her father to notice.

They walked in relative silence, Jon asked about their flights home, and how Sansa felt about Sandor and Tormund joining her.

“Good.” It was reassuring to have one more person looking out for them.

Then, Sansa asked how Jon felt, which he didn’t really answer.

For the first time since being back, the air between them was awkward and uncomfortable.

It threw Sansa because it wasn’t something she was used to feeling with Jon, it made her nervous.

When the got to the clearing they looked over the water, the waves crashing on the rocks below, the air was colder up there, breezier. Jon sighed and looked at Sansa,

“What’s wrong, Jon?”

“I needed to talk to you, before you left.”

Sansa nodded.

“Okay, then talk” she urged him to continue.

“Look, I know the decision you made all those years ago wasn’t easy for you, I can see it, the hurt and the pain. But fuck, Sansa. I have to say it before you leave and its too late. I am so fucking angry at you.”

Sansa inhaled sharply and closed her eyes but didn’t say anything. Whatever it was that he felt he needed to say, she owed him enough to listen. To take all his anger.

Jon continued, “I think it took a minute, for the shock of it all to wear off, and the last thing I ever want to do it hurt you. _Ever._ You know that.

Jon paused and sucked in a deep breath, before speaking again.

“But you cost me and her, _us_ so much! You may not have done it for selfish reasons, I know that. But it was fucking selfish, Sansa.”

His breath hitched and Sansa knew he was angry and hurt, so hurt she could see it on his face. The way his eyes narrowed, the way his lips frowned, the wrinkle above his brow. He was angry, and it was her fault.

“You didn’t give me a chance, Sansa. I never even got an option. You just fucking left me. Moved on. With our child and with _him._ ”

He let out a frustrated sigh and he paced, Sansa’s face was stained with tears and she deserved every minute of it. To hear it, to see it. The hurt. The pain. The loss.

She stepped forward, “Jon, I- “

He held up his hand.

“No. I’m not done. We could’ve had it all, Sansa. Not just the normal life you always craved, and the amazing kid but all of that with two parents who really fucking loved each other. That could’ve been the example we set for her, to grow up with that much love. Your choice took that from her, and it took that from me, you took that from yourself, Sansa. The dreams we had growing up”

Jon walked to the edged and stopped, his breathing was heavy, his hands behind his head ad elbows out. Sansa knew he wasn’t done, so she waited. Shaking as the tears freely fell from her eyes, more hurt by what she was hearing than she’d ever been, not because anything he is saying is untrue, every word of it was the truth.

For the first time in six years, the pain caused by what she had done was right in front of her and she had no choice but to listen to it.

Jon sighed, his voice almost a whisper, “You’re a good mom, Sansa and I know you thought you were making the best choice for her, I _know_ that, and I respect you for it. I really do. But Sansa, it was the wrong fucking choice. Did you have so little faith in me? In what I felt for you? In what I would do for you?”

Shaking her head, she tried to gather her thoughts. How could she make him understand? The fear she felt, the tunnel vision where the only person that mattered were their unborn child.

“Would you have left, Jon? Honestly, knowing now why I needed to leave. Would you have gone? Would you have walked away from my family?”

Sansa sniffled, scared to death of what Jon’s answer would be, but knowing she needed the answer regardless.

Jon turned back to Sansa but didn’t answer right away, when he finally answered Sansa released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

“I won’t lie to you and say it wouldn’t have been a hard choice. This family is the only family I have, Sansa. I owe so much to your Dad and to Robb, it would have been really fucking hard.”

Jon walked towards Sansa and tucked a lose hair behind her ear.

“But I can be selfish too, Sansa. The thought of being a family with you, raising a child with you?”

A tear rolled down Jon’s face.

“Fuck, Sansa. Yes, I would’ve said to hell with all of it. If it meant being with you and having a family.”

“I’m so sorry, Jon. I’m so so sorry. I was so scared, and I thought I was doing what was best for the baby. I really did. I was trying to do the right thing, as a mom.” Sansa sobbed.

‘I know, Sansa. I know why you did it.”

He sighed and ran his hand through his hair before raising his hands in the air.

“But it’s too fucking late now. I have the chance to be in her life, and I know she’ll have a good fucking life. She’ll never doubt how loved or how wanted she is, not with me, and you. God, Harry. I know we’ll figure out how to do it, together. But it’s to fucking late for us now. For us to be a family and gods, Sansa that fucking sucks because we should have been a fucking family. Your choices took that from us, from _all_ of us and I am so fucking mad at you for that.”

Sansa didn’t know what to say, what could she say because he was right. Every single this he said was true, there were no words to defend her actions, nothing she could do to make it better because nothing she said would give Jon back the time he lost, there was nothing she said would bring them together.

“I really am sorry, Jon” she whispered raggedly.

Sansa shook as Jon stepped forward and kissed the top of her head before leaving. She knew this was the end of them, and her entire body felt like it would shatter into a million pieces if someone toucher her the wrong way. She’d never felt pain like this – and she had only herself to blame.

No more words spoken by either of them, as Jon turned and walked away, back towards the family he still had.

When he was finally gone, Sansa didn’t move, hell she wasn’t even sure she was breathing until finally she just lost it. Sansa had never cried so hard, not when she left, not when their daughter was born, it felt like she had been torn apart and it was her fault.

\---

Jon spent the rest of the day watching Lyanna run around on the beach with her family, trying to soak up as much of this time with her as possible.

He knew that once they left it wouldn’t be like this anymore and that he would be in her life from a distance, especially until Ramsay was taken care of. Even then, it wasn’t like he could just go to see whenever he’d like, he had a job here and they had their routine and lives of their own. He wouldn’t disrupt that, not anymore than it already had been.

It was a while before Sansa finally made her way back to the shore, Jon knew how deeply his words had affected her, how much they had hurt her, but he couldn’t find it in himself to comfort her right now – and her comfort wasn’t his responsibility anymore.

Hurting Sansa was never his goal, he wasn’t trying to be cruel, but he needed to be honest with her. He deserved that and so did she - because nothing he said was untrue.

They should have been a family and they could have been if she had believed in him enough. It broke Jon’s heart that she hadn’t trusted him enough and hadn’t believed in his love for her enough.

She wasn’t entirely wrong though, about the danger that comes along with being in this family. Her name alone is known through all of Westeros, she could always be used as a pawn against the family and even more so as a pawn against Jon. The love of his life, his daughter – everyone would know where his weaknesses lie.

He knew what he needed to do, the only way he could really keep them safe.

He watched hopelessly as Sansa and Lyanna played in the shallow shore, despite everything she had done and despite everything going on with her, Sansa Stark was a damn good mom.

Lyanna would come first, always. She schooled any emotions she had and pushed them aside until Lyanna was happy, no one could fault her for that.

The sight of the two of them, carefree and happy as Sansa twirled her around in the water andLyanna laughing. That memory would burn into his soul.

When everyone had retired back to the main house Jon found Ned in the study, he knocked on the slightly opened door and entered when Ned saw him.

“I need to talk to you,” Jon said.

Ned set him pen down and leaned back.

“Alright. What is it, Jon?”

“I want out.”

Ned sighed, “what?”

“I want out. Before you ask, no. This isn’t about winning Sansa back. I need to do what’s best for both of them and that is not doing this. Once we take care of the Bolton’s, I want out.”

Ned narrowed his eyes and stared at Jon, Jon held his gaze knowing that Ned was evaluating him and his motives.

“Explain to me how this isn’t about Sansa.”

Jon sighed, “I love her, Ned. I always have and I always will. But my involvement in this life will always make them a target. If someone digs enough, they will find them, and they don’t need to be pawns used against me, _ever.”_

It wasn’t about his love for Sansa or his need for family anymore. He needed to remove the risk of them being hurt because of him. It was the only thing he _could_ do. 

Ned nodded thoughtfully

“what would you do?”

Jon shrugged, he really didn’t know, he knew that when he left, he would have no one, for the first time he would be completely alone.

He was leaving the family that all but raised him to keep _his_ family safe and that was all that mattered. The rest he would figure out.

“I don’t know. I’ll figure it out as I go, but Sansa and Lyanna? My only responsibility it to keep them safe. Sansa has her life now and I know that. I won’t fuck with that, but I need to keep my girls safe.”

Jon knew Sansa would never leave Harry. Even if Jon did leave this life, Harry was a major part of Lyanna’s life, her only father figure for years, no matter how unhappy Sansa was and no matter how much she loved him, she would never ruin that.

He’d love her from a distance but protect them no matter what the cost.

Ned lips turned slightly upwards and Jon knew that even though he hated the idea of Jon going, he was proud of Jon’s decision. Still he frowned.

“Its not quite so easy for you, Jon. Its harder for you to leave without questions, it was easier for Sansa. It’s not just the Bolton’s, we must consider the Targaryen’s and Lannister’s too. We need to make sure no mistake of the past follows you out.”

The Targaryen’s were an old Westeros family who had all but disappeared for years. Until heir to the Targaryen fortune, Daenerys, come back to claim what she thought was hers.

She was cold and calculated and the men who worked for her were not above rape and torture to do her bidding. Years ago, she tried to approach Jon. Use him as a mole in the Stark organization.

He turned her down. Her offer and her body.

She wasn’t accustomed to being told no and since then had it out for Jon. She was either trying to kill him or recruit him. Daenerys would notice if Jon just disappeared and finding out about Sansa and Lyanna would be her ultimate victory.

“I think I know how we get him out, Dad.”

Jon and Ned turned to see Robb leaning in the doorway with his arms crossed. Ned gestured Robb further into the room.

“Okay, Robb. How?”

\---

Sansa hated goodbyes.

She watched as her family said goodbye to her daughter, even though they were in her life now, it would never be in a way that was enough. It would always be from a distance and Sansa hated that, hated it even more that it was her actions, her choices that made it so.

Lyanna was happy, healthy and safe, so there were parts of her decision Sansa could never regret. Not raising her daughter this way, Sansa would never regret that but gods, she regretted how she did it.

Her choice had taken so much from so many people, including herself. She was so young and so scared.

More than anything, Sansa wishes she would have gone to Cat that day instead of Ned. Cat would have talked to her, and heard her but she also would have challenged her and she would have encouraged Sansa tell Jon.

Sansa’s only salvation for 6 years was believing that she had made the most selfless choice by leaving, that the only person who mattered was Lyanna, but she was wrong. It wasn’t selfless and she could do nothing to rectify the hurt.

No matter what she said, no matter what she did, she would hurt someone.

The only thing she could do was to return home and deal with the damage, to be a mom and treat Harry the way he deserved to be treated and let Jon be involved how ever much he wanted.

Sansa watched as Jon crouched down to say goodbye to their daughter, his face was tight, and Sansa knew how hard this most be on him.

“Wait!”

Lyanna jumped back and ran to the black SUV with their luggage. She scrambled inside before running back to Jon a second later.

She handed Ghost to Jon and smiled; Jon tilted his head to the side as he tried to understand what this was.

“You just really liked him, I thought you could keep him until I see you again and then you can give him back.”

Lyanna shuffled closer to Jon and placed her hand on his cheek, mimicking the first time they met. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear.

“Because I think you’re a wolf too.”

Jon’s eyes snapped to Sansa who inhaled sharply she closed her eyes quickly before squatting down beside Lyanna.

“Sweetie, are you sure? It’s a very nice thing to do, but if you change your mind it will take some time to get Ghost back.”

Sansa didn’t want to take anything form this moment or diminish the beauty of it but the stuffed animal was Lyanna’s shadow, she took him everywhere and slept with him every night.

Lyanna looked at Jon and smiled.

“I’m sure mama. Jon will keep Ghost safe and its not for forever.”

Sansa couldn’t believe the connection between the two of them, and how quickly it formed. Lyanna didn’t know who Jon was, yet she had initiated almost every moment between them, she gravitated towards Jon any chance she got.

 _She loved him_.

Jon took the stuffed dog from Lyanna and held it close.

“Aye, I’ll keep him safe, I promise.”

Sansa knew the meaning behind the words, _I’ll keep you safe,_ he meant.

Lyanna wagged her finger in Jon’s face,

“but you have to promise to give him back.”

“I promise, I will bring him back and if you want him back sooner, you call me, okay?” Jon laughed.

“Okay”

She leapt into his arms for a hug, nearly knocking him over with the sheer force of it all.

Sansa didn’t miss the looks on her family’s face, the emotional bond between the two of them, it broke everyone’s hearts but no one more than Sansa’s. Even Harry’s face was fixed with emotion behind his aviator glasses.

Jon stood and pulled Sansa a hug.

“Goodbye, Sansa.”

Sansa breathed him in and nodded. She couldn’t speak and she didn’t know what to say, knowing she was a fraction away from losing any semblance of control.

Jon kissed her temple and Sansa stepped back from the hug, willing herself not to cry.

Not now.

Not yet.

Sandor cleared his throat, “alright, we have to get going. Ned, we’ll be in touch when we land.”

Sansa and Lyanna said another quick round of goodbyes and walked solemnly to the car, Lyanna more silent than Sansa had ever seen her and Sansa more heartbroken than she’d ever been.

Harry hopped in, “ready to go home?”

_Home._

\---

Ned had called all remaining members to the clubhouse after Sansa had left. With representatives of four major families, Arryn, Greyjoy, Tully and Tyrell. They needed the support of the other crime families.

What Robb proposed was dangerous and extreme but if successful could mean solidity for the Stark name for years to come and a clean out for Jon.

If they could pull it off without getting killed, of course.

The major families involved in organized crime in Westeros. Stark, Lannister, Baratheon, Tyrell, Tully, Arryn, Greyjoy, Bolton and Targaryen.

Tully and Tyrell were loyal to house stark through marriage, Ned’s marriage to Cat and Robb’s marriage to Margaery.

Arryn loyal through marriage to Cat’s sister Lysa, but also because of Jon Arryn and Ned’s long-standing friendship.

Greyjoy had been loyal for the last few years after an attempted rebellion that didn’t end well for them, Theon had solidified the new alliance through his friendship to Robb although Ned kept them on a shorter leash.

Baratheon were a wild card, they were loyal to the Starks because of Robert and Ned’s friendship, as well as the relationship between Gendry and Arya but Robert was married to a Lannister, Cersei. While they may pledge to Stark, duty and honour would always sway loyalties to Tywin Lannister.

Lannister and Stark had been long term rivals, the two biggest names in organized crime. Tywin had more resources, but Ned had more alliances, it created a tug of war for dominance.

The only reason for a temporary truce between the two houses were to deal with the Bolton’s and the Targaryen’s. The Targaryen Lannister rivalry was old bloodshed and carried on through generations.

Not to mention both the Targaryen’s and the Bolton’s were ruthless and had brought a lot of unwanted police attention to the remaining families. Ned had inside sources in the Westeros Police Department of course, but he was tired of paying off law enforcement.

To truly have Jon safe, to have his family safe and to have even more control over Westeros, they needed to eliminate the Bolton’s and the Targaryen’s.

“You’re talking about total annihilation of two families?” Benjen asked, this was a bold move for Ned, it was dangerous and risky. It wasn’t just the families who needed to be taken out, but those closest to them as well.

Jon Arryn’s stood, “What’s to stop the Lannister’s from setting their sights on us once we take care of the Targaryen’s? The only thing standing between Tywin Lannister and total control would be you, Ned. What makes you think he won’t use this to his favour.”

Jon knew Ned couldn’t tell them that the main reason for the bloodshed that was about to happen was Jon. It would make him appear weak. The sacrifice that Ned was making for Jon, he knew this was Ned’s attempt at redemption.

For keeping Sansa’s secret, for not pushing Sansa to reconsider.

Jon was angry at Ned for the choices he made and what those choices had led to, but Ned was putting business aside for Jon. He was putting Jon first, as a son.

_Family._

“We give the Lannister’s the Targaryen territory.” Robb said.

The room erupted in opinions. Good. Bad. Ugly.

“Are you fucking kidding me, we do all the work and he gets to reap the benefits?” Balon shouted.

“Shut up, Balon. The Targ’s run jewels anyways, we don’t. We wouldn’t benefit from maintaining their operation.” Jon snapped.

“and Lannister? Did he agree to this?” Holster asked.

Despite the questions and the opinions, Jon knew certain families would be loyal to Ned despite every reservation they had. Ned stood, demanding respect simply by putting himself on edge.

“We’ll find out tonight.”

\---

Home.

Sansa wasn’t sure where that was anymore. It used to be Essos, or at least she thought it was. They had their home, she had a job she was proud of, friends, Harry. It used to be enough, or maybe she made herself believe it was enough, but when she came home this time.

Things had changed.

It suddenly felt lonelier, like pieces were missing. Her family was missing.

She sat on the sofa a few days after they had come home, aimlessly stirring her now cold tea. Lyanna was asleep, Harry had been called into the hospital, Tormund had gone to the hospital with Harry and Sandor had stayed with the girls.

Sansa felt empty.

She heard footsteps and Sandor joined her on the couch.

“You actually gonna drink that, Little Bird? Or just stare at it.”

“Just tired, is all. I’ll be fine after a nights sleep.” Sansa tried to force a reassuring smile, but the energy that took was more than she had.

“Bullshit, Sansa. Tell me what’s wrong,” Sandor sighed

Sansa looked at Sandor and the tears welled up in her eyes.

“I’m fine, Sandor.” Sansa said unconvincingly.

Sandor looked at her incredulously. She didn’t know how to put into words the pain she was feeling without being a complete hypocrite. She was safe with her daughter and that had been, for the longest time, the only thing she’d ever wanted. She still wanted that, but there was no way to undo what she had done, no way to rectify the hurt she caused and that is a harsh reality to face.

Sansa just felt broken.

“Tell me, Sansa. I’ve watched you for days, chirping and pretending nothing is wrong, but the minute you’re alone the mask drops. I see you, Little Bird.”

Sansa took a deep breath, trying to put her thoughts into cohesive words.

“I, I don’t.” she sobbed.

She looked at Sandor who held such compassion in his eyes, compassion she wasn’t sure she deserved.

“I don’t regret leaving, it was the right choice but that was the only good choice I made, Sandor. How I did it, who I chose to keep in the dark, not trusting Jon and not believing in Jon. It was all such a mistake and I can’t fix it.”

Sandor tilted his head to the side, “who the fuck says you can’t fix it?”

Sansa laughed sadly, recalling her conversation with Jon. _It’s too fucking late, Sansa._

“How, how do I fix this, Sandor?”

“The fuck if I know, Sansa. What I do know though is that you are a damn good mom, and you don’t deserve to sit here berating yourself day in and day out.”

Sansa fervently shook her head. No, that is exactly what she deserved.

Her penance for all the hurt she caused was to hurt, for her heart to hurt behind closed doors. Lyanna and Harry never needed to see her pain, she damn well wouldn’t hurt another person with her shitty choices.

“I’m going to head to bed, Sandor. Goodnight.”

Sansa smiled and put her untouched tea in the sink before heading upstairs, letting sleep overcome her and the dreams come. Dreams of what could have been, dreams of what she really wanted. Truthfully, they weren’t really dreams at all.

_Nightmares._


	13. Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the 13 weeks following Sansa's departure from Winterfell so much had changed.  
> Sansa is faced with new challanges, new heartbreak, while Jon deals with what the hell he does now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I knowwww it's been WAY longer than I wanted, but life happened. Also, I really wanted this chapter to be perfect! It's such an important chapter to the story!  
> You'll notice time frames at the start of each new part, these are to indicate how long its been since Sansa, Lyanna and Harry had left Winterfell!

\--- 3 _weeks_ \---

It was three weeks after returning home that Sansa got the news.

_Dead._

Ned Stark had been shot point blank in the back of his head in broad daylight. His name was splashed over every news outlet in Westeros, **SUSPECTED MOB BOSS, NED STARK, MURDERED.**

Sansa’s heart broke into a thousand tiny pieces when Arya had called her with the news.

She ached for Lyanna who loved her Granddad.

Her mother, who lost the love of her life.

Her siblings, who lost their dad.

For Robb, who would now, more than ever, be forced to step up.

For Jon, who lost another father figure.

For years the only person Sansa had was Ned. He was her only connection to the family she left behind, the only one she could talk to before she started building a life here, before she had friends and Harry.

Maybe he shouldn’t have let her leave the way she did, sure there was a part of her now that wishes he had put his foot down one more time, but everything he did, he did because he loved her. He was trying to do right by her and now he was just gone. Taken from his family way too early, and way too quickly.

Sansa thought back to her second conversation with Arya. When Arya had first called her, Sansa nearly collapsed in grief, Harry only barely managing to catch her before she fell to the ground, he had finished talking to Arya while Sansa cried.

When Sansa finally got herself together and realized she needed to talk to her sister, who was hurting too, she called her back.

Arya answered immediately.

“Sans,” Arya said, her voice visibly hoarse from crying.

“Arya,” Sansa inhaled sharply, trying to control her sobs, “What, what happened?”

Arya cried as she told her sister what had happened. They had taken out 5 of the Bolton’s closest members, outside of Ramsay and Roose. The Bolton’s knew they were closing in, they had to know, considering the extermination of their crew.

Ned was downtown, stopping in to visit his associate at the District Attorney’s office, he hadn’t taken a driver with him, they found him laying next to his car in underground parking, with a gunshot wound to the back of his head.

Arya told Sansa how Jon and Robb were convinced it was Ramsay himself, no one else would have been brave enough to attack someone in _that_ parking garage – it was a part of the police department and the DA offices, the place was a vault, armed guards at all entrances, surveillance, you name it this parking garage had it.

Robb had managed to get the surveillance video, which only showed someone dressed in black, with a silencer on his weapon but they still don’t know how he got in or out, unless he had someone on his payroll too.

Sansa let Arya finish before asking,

“How’s mom?”

“She’s a mess, Sans, she hasn’t left her room, hasn’t eaten. We aren’t holding a funeral because of all the unrest; it would be too easy for our enemies to attack.”

The thought of not holding a service to commemorate her Dad’s life made her sick, but she knew it was the safest option. Anyone who was targeting their family, the Bolton’s or the Targaryen’s, could easily target house Stark and all loyal houses at a funeral.

Besides, he was already gone.

His life reduced to nothing more than gossip and rumors, he was just...

_Gone._

\--- _3 weeks & 3 days ---_

Three days later, Margaery called Sansa.

“Sansa, I’m so sorry. How are you doing?” Margaery asked. “God that sounds like such a horrible question, I’m sorry.”

Sansa understood, how do you ask someone how they are after something so terrible? You can’t ignore it, but you also don’t want to upset them further. Truthfully, Sansa didn’t know how to answer her. How was she?

Broken

Angry

Sad

Lonely

Everything since Sansa had come home had been hard, harder than ever before, and every night Sansa went to bed _tired_. Exhausted from the effort it took her to get through the day, but she had Lyanna, Harry, her job. All these things that required her to get up and be ‘Sansa’ when really all she wanted to do was lock herself away from it all.

“I’m still processing.” She answered truthfully, revealing as little as she could about how she was truly feeling. “How are you doing?”

She desperately needed to change the topic. 

“I told Robb, about the baby. Right before Ne- well, right before. I think it’s helped, having something positive in his life.”

Sansa smiled sadly to herself, the situation just hitting home with Sansa for a lot of reasons, but above anything she was truly happy for her friend and her brother.

“That’s great, Marg.”

“Yeah, I think, I think it’ll be okay you know? Raising the baby here, with Robb and our families. It’ll be safer, once this is taken care of and I just can’t imagine leaving right now. Your brother he, he’s really needed right now, to step up.”

Sansa understood, with Ned gone, Robb would be looked to as the new boss, especially with Rickon being so young, all responsibilities would fall to him. Sansa didn’t think poorly on Margaery and Robb or staying, after all they had all been raised in this life and they are fine.

She knew bits and pieces of what was going on at home, about what the families were trying to achieve – with annihilating the Bolton’s and the Targ’s. If they could pull it off, if they could truly bring a sense of peace and a temporary cease between all the crime families in Westeros? Life for Robb, Margaery and her niece or nephew would be significantly safer.

She was proud of Margaery because she knew how hard it was, to think about another person that you are solely responsible for, to know that everything you do will change this little life forever, and she told Margaery as much.

“How’s my mom?” Sansa asked. She heard Margaery sigh on the other end.

“She’s… struggling. She’s strong though, Robb told her about the baby. I think maybe that helped a bit.”

Sansa nodded to herself, knowing how much her mother always desperately wanted to be a grandparent, feeling sad that she had taken that away from her with Lyanna.

Sansa and Margaery chatted for some time about the baby, the pregnancy, _home._

Gods, how Sansa missed them all. Missed Robb, missed Arya’s jabs, missed wild Rickon. She wished, more than anything, she could be there for her family, but it wasn’t safe. Even Sandor and Tormund hadn’t gone back, _‘No until Bolton is dead, Little Bird.’_

\--- 9 _weeks ---_

Jon groaned as he finally let his head hit his pillow for the first time in weeks. He was tired.

No.

He was fucking exhausted.

He had been staying in his old room at Winterfell since Ned’s death, with everyone’s top priority being revenge on the Bolton’s and the death of the Targaryen’s. If Ned was going to be stripped from this earth, his death had to _mean_ something, they needed to finish what Ned started.

Jon owed it to him.

Taking out Roose and Ramsay proved to be less difficult that Jon had expected. Neither man inspired any loyalty from their members. Roose maybe, at one point, had strong me loyal to him but after he allowed his sick bastard son to join the ranks, and start making decisions? Any loyalty and respect he had earned over the years all but disappeared

Especially after Ramsay’s hit on Ned, there was no concrete proof who murdered him, but everyone knew it had been Ramsay.

After that, most of their loyal families had turned their backs on them, not because Ned Stark was dead, but because Ramsay had done it on a whim, without bringing it to them, without thinking of the consequences. You cannot eliminate only the head of a family, doing that means setting a target on your back immediately.

Everyone knew the end was near for the Bolton’s.

Jon smirked to himself at the memory of Ramsay’s death, getting to lay into that piece of shit had given Jon more gratification than he cared to admit, but damn if it didn’t feel good. Revenge for Ned’s death, revenge for Sansa, that he even thought about laying his hands on her.

The sick fuck had taunted Robb and Jon until the very end, it was like he enjoyed the pain they were inflicting on him. He told them every sick thing he thought about, and every fucked up thing he planned on doing to her. It wasn’t until Gendry had finally heard enough ,and couldn’t stand listening to it anymore, that he finally put a bullet in his crotch.

They watched him bleed to death.

It was the only time that Jon hadn’t felt a single shred of remorse for killing someone, and if that made him a shitty person, he would own it. Ridding the world of a man like Ramsay Bolton had been worth it. The only regret he had was that he couldn’t bring him back and do it again.

They were lucky that the Targaryen Ken and Barbie were arrogant to a fault. With so much heat being placed on the Bolton’s, Daenerys and Viserys hadn’t noticed the Stark’s slowly infiltrating their organization.

Tracking them was easy and getting a member of their crew to turn on them was even easier. The Targaryen’s inspired as much loyalty as the Bolton’s, which was virtually none. Considering the way, they allowed the Dothraki family to rape and pillage like beasts. None of them were innocent, you couldn’t be a good person and do this job, but even criminals have boundaries. Once they had someone they could trust on the inside, they were able to know exactly when and where the next town hall was.

Jon chuckled to himself at the irony of it all, killing the dragons with fire.

Brynden Tully was a bit of a bomb expert from his time spent in the military with Benjen Stark. They had been able to eliminate the Targaryen heirs and their closest circle in what looked like a warehouse explosion.

With the threat of the other houses gone, Jon was finally able to think. It had been weeks since Ned’s death and his heart hurt for Sansa. He knew how hard this would be, dealing with Ned’s death, and he had heard from her family that she wasn’t dealing well.

Jon and Sansa had agreed, at Jon’s urging, that Jon would not contact either of them until Bolton had been dealt with, trying to minimize the risk, or at the very least postpone, Ramsay discovering Lyanna. It wasn’t an easy choice to stay away, he had only just gotten to meet her, but Jon knew it wasn’t the safest option for right now.

Now that the threat s gone, Jon could think of little else besides calling them tomorrow. Talking to Lyanna, and hearing Sansa’s voice.

He knew that him and Sansa had no future, despite their love for each other. Sansa would never leave Harry, even if she never loved him the same was she loved Jon. He was important to Lyanna, and she would never willingly take that away.

The father in Jon respected that choice and appreciated the sacrifice for their daughter, but the part of him that loved her? Well, that just about broke him.

Now, Jon had to figure out exactly what to do. He was free, and knew he would end up in Essos, to be able to be involved in Lyanna’s life, but there was more to it than that. What would he do?

Where did he start?

How does he become a responsible member of society?

These were all things he needed to figure out before moving, because he needed to be a stable figure for Lyanna, he wanted it figure out before he committed to her, so he could be reliable and sturdy. He owed them that much.

Still, every night he laid down he was flooded by dreams of them, the family they could never be.

Their laughs

Their smiles.

He knew Sansa would never fully leave him, she was the love of his life, of that he was sure.

\--- 9 _weeks ---_

Robb stood awkwardly in the doorway of his father’s office, feeling like at any moment Ned would brush past him, sit behind his big desk and smile. ‘ _Well, out with-it Robb_ ’ he would say. Except, that wouldn’t happen because he was gone.

_Dead._

He forced himself to admit the truth, because gone just felt so impermanent and he wasn’t coming back.

Robb had avoided Ned’s office for as long as he could, throwing all of his energy into finishing what they all started, as some backwards way of honouring Ned’s memory. When the truth was, Robb wasn’t ready.

He wasn’t ready for Ned to be gone, he wasn’t ready to step up and have all this responsibility, to be there for him mom, his family, _the family_.

He had no choice, not anymore. It was his duty.

Robb slowly walked further into the office, the place where Ned had given him so much guidance, and probably more lectures. Robb often found himself sheepishly on the other end of the desk after doing something stupid growing up, usually with Jon sitting right beside him.

Gods, how he idolized his father.

Growing up, Robb thought Ned was the strongest man in Westeros, he was smart and powerful – Robb wanted to grow up and be just like his dad. As he got older, and got further into this life, Robb could see the burden Ned had on his shoulders. That all his power, meant making hard decisions. Which he made for the good of his family and for the good of the organizations, despite how much of a monster it made him. He didn’t make the decisions lightly.

He was still smart, powerful and strong, but Robb could also see the sacrifices he made for family.

 _Family over everything_.

Robb sighed as he sat in Ned’s chair, realizing just how unnatural it felt. Margaery and Robb had almost completely moved into Winterfell and would be fully moved in within the week. It’s where he belonged now, he was the boss now. All the burdens and responsibilities that Ned bore now fell to him.

It would be better to be here, for his mom, for Rickon and for Margaery to have help with the baby.

_A baby._

Robb couldn’t believe it. He was in the deepest pit of sorrow when Margaery had told him, hoping to bring some light back into his life. Had she ever. The thought of being a father? It was the most terrifying and most exciting news he had ever heard.

Margaery had been honest with him, about how from the moment she found out she panicked, the fear she felt due to all the unrest they had in their world. Robb had promised her that he would protect her no matter the cost, protect them both.

Ned had made their world a little safer, by taking the steps he had for Jon, with the Bolton’s and the Targaryen’s gone, their biggest threats eliminated. He knew any threats that remain, or any new threats that emerged would be handled, having gained more loyalty for the crime families than Robb had ever known possible.

Robb thought of Jon, and how he didn’t get this chance with his daughter, he never got the joy of knowing Sansa was pregnant, or the feeling of pure astonishment when he had seen the tiniest swell of Margaery’s tummy. Knowing that life, a completely innocent life, made from the very best parts of them, would soon be theirs. To love and protect and cherish.

Jon had missed all of it.

He knew Jon was struggling. He was impatient to begin his new life, with Lyanna being a part of it, knowing he hadn’t spoken to her in months took a toll on him. More than that, Robb could see how letting Sansa go, truly trying to let her go, was taking away this piece of him. He would be fine, Robb knew for certain Jon Snow was nothing if not a fighter, but Sansa had a piece of him, a piece of his soul, and without her that piece of Jon no longer existed.

Robb wished more than anything he knew what to say, anything to heal the pain his best friend – _his brother-_ was feeling but Robb didn’t have those words. He wasn’t even sure they existed.

How do you heal a broken soul?

It was then Robb realized his phone had been ringing, completely caught up in his thoughts, he hadn’t heard it. He looked at his phone, it wasn’t a number he recognized, but he knew the area code was Essos. He answered immediately.

“Hello?” he answered, a slight rush to his voice as the fear that something was wrong washed over him.

Nothing could have prepared him for the conversation that came next.

_“Robb, hi. It’s Harry.”_

Robb sat straighter in the chair,

“Harry, whats wrong, is everything okay?”

_“Everything is fine. Well sort of. Everyone is okay though.” Harry paused, “look, I’m sorry to bother you, but do you have a minute?”_

“Yes, what is it?” for the life of him Robb didn’t know what this was about.

Harry sighed, Robb could tell by the tone of his voice this wasn’t a conversation Harry was looking forward too.

“ _Listen, Robb. Before we left, the day before we left, I overheard part of a conversation between Jon and Ned. Jon wanted out, he wanted to leave it all behind to protect Lyanna… to protect Sansa.”_

“Okay, what is this about Harry?”

_“I need to know if that’s true, now that you have finished what you needed to do. Is Jon getting out, is he coming here, free from crime?”_

Robb didn’t exactly know what to say, he didn’t know how much Jon had told Sansa, he didn’t know why Harry had a sudden interest in Jon, unless it was due to Harry’s insecurities about Jon being in Essos. Robb decided being honest, with Harry, was all he could do.

“Yes. Jon is out, he’s free to leave whenever he wants,” He heard Harry begin to speak on the other side but cut him off. “Listen, harry, if this about Sansa. You don’t need to worry okay, Sansa has made it clear where she stands and I know Jon. He will respect it now that he knows who is on the line.”

_Harry sighed, “No, that’s not it. Robb, Sansa is, she’s, well to be completely honest I think she’s lost right now. She’s trying, I can tell she’s trying to be happy, to make me happy, to make Lyanna happy. Like it was before, but its not like it was before and Sansa is struggling. She’s not happy and I can’t make her happy.”_

Robb didn’t know what to say. He hated that his sister was struggling, he hated that she was sad and 1000 miles away from him, but he also didn’t know why it was Harry telling him this.

“I don’t mean to be short, Harry, but what is this about?”

_“I think, that if Jon is out. He should come be with Sansa.”_

Shocked, Robb moved the phone to his other ear, listening intently. That wasn’t what he had expected.

_“I love Sansa, and I will remain a part of Lyanna’s life, but trying to keep those two apart? It’s a losing battle and we all know it and what’s the outcome if they do? Sansa deserves to be happy and she’s not.”_

Robb was silent for a while, while he processed everything Harry had told him. To say he respected Harry would be an understatement. Harry was, by all accounts, simply a good man. His conviction that he would remain in Lyanna’s life, the daughter that wasn’t his, whose mother he loved while she so deeply loved another. There are good men who would have left for a lot less, yet he stayed because he loved Sansa but knew she was hurting without Jon.

He could have ignored it, put blinders on to what Sansa was going through behind the scenes and just pretend all he saw was her smiles. He could wait it out, hoping Sansa would come around eventually but for how long? Weeks, months, years. He deserved better, its true, but even more so because he knew Sansa deserved better. As an older brother, there was very little you required in a man besides them respecting his sisters.

_“Robb, if you could. I need to talk with Sansa first. Could this conversation remain between us for a little while?”_

Robb agreed, and told Harry that if he, Sansa or Lyanna needed anything to call him. He would always be there for them.

He sat, for what felt like hours, after ending his call with Harry. Thinking of his sister and his best friend. The two of them were so connected, so a part of one another, it was sort of unbelievable. He loved his wife, more than anyone on this earth but he wasn’t even sure they had what Jon and Sansa had. It was like they were made for each other, each put on this earth to save the other.

Still, he couldn’t help but wonder, with Jon’s anger and Sansa’s guilt, was there a future for them, could each of them move past their own feelings and insecurities, could they trust each other again? Knowing they would never let their shit get in the way of their daughter, no. that girl was loved, and everyone in her life would put her first. 

Robb sighed, suddenly he was tired when his phone chimed with a message from his wife. He opened the message to find a picture of Margaery, cradling her very small bump that she was no longer able to suck in.

He smiled, _this is what its all about._

_Family._

Robb left Winterfell and returned to their almost completely empty home, intent to show his wife exactly how much she means to him.

How much they mean to him.

Everything else could wait for now.

\--- 9 _weeks 5 days ---_

Harry sat at their kitchen table as he reread the same paragraph in the morning paper for the 6th time. Unable to fully concentrate on anything except the conversation that was about to come. Lyanna had a playdate with a friend this morning, which Harry had quietly gotten her ready for as he tried to let Sansa sleep.

She had been so tired lately and yet he could feel her tossing and turning all night, barely getting a good nights rest. She was beautiful, as always, but she looked more distant than usual and she had lost weight. He was concerned about her, he loved her, even if he knew their time had come to an end.

She had been good at trying to mask the pain she was in, to anyone outside she would seem like the same carefree, happy woman she was a few months ago, but Harry saw it. He would walk into the room after she had been crying, though she tried to hide it, and besides playing with Lyanna or spending time with her, he rarely saw Sansa smile anymore, not a smile that wasn’t forced at least.

Things had been hard for her, losing Ned, which she said was the cause of her unhappiness. While that may have been some of it, Harry knew the truth, she missed Jon. It hurt, knowing how desperately she missed another man, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be angry because she really would give him up for their family. Despite what happened in Westeros – which he was still obviously pissed about, of course. Sansa would never leave him, she would sacrifice her happiness for his and for Lyanna’s.

She didn’t deserve that. She deserved happiness, and he deserved to be with someone who loved him as much as he loved her. Lyanna deserved three happy parents, she needed to grow up knowing that her happiness was important, and that you should never sacrifice yourself for someone else.

When Sansa finally entered the kitchen, Harry’s heart clenched. Her beauty was overwhelming, and it did make him hurt that he wasn’t what she needed. Despite smile that she gave him, he could see the sadness in her. Her once bright blue eyes didn’t shine anymore, they were dull – unhappy.

“Thanks for letting me sleep, you didn’t need to do that though. I could’ve helped this morning.” She said as she refilled his coffee before pouring herself a cup.

“It’s okay, you needed it.” He paused before continuing. _This is going to suck._

“Sans, can you sit for a minute. I think we need to talk.”

He watched as he face fell, fear washed over her features, grief, sorrow. As if she knew what was coming. She sat and looked down at her lap, silently waiting for him to say whatever it was she thought he was going to say.

“Sansa look at me. Please.” He needed her to look at him, he needed her to understand this wasn’t because he was pissed off about what she did, that he was doing this _because_ he loved her.

“Sansa, you’re not happy, you’re hurting. I know you’re trying, to hide it all, but I can see it. I know you.”

She looked down again, and he’d almost barely heard her whisper,

“I can do better.”

Harry was in front of her in an instant, kneeling between her legs so she was forced to look at him. He cradled her check in his hand, her blue eyes rimmed with tears.

“Sansa.”

She gripped his hand tighter, “Is this about what happened back home? I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I messed up, I know that!”

Harry sighed and shook his head, squeezing her hand slightly so she would stop.

“Sansa listen to me. Yes, what happened hurt me, I also told you I wasn’t going to hold it against you. This isn’t about that. You deserve to be happy and I deserve to be with someone who is all in for me. You love Jon, Sansa. Any idiot can see it. I know you’re trying but it’s not working. Forcing you to continue like this, because I know you would stay for as long as I let you because of Lyanna, how is that fair to you? To me?”

Sansa nodded, tears left her eyes. They stayed silent for a little bit, Harry letting her process and giving her this time to figure out what she wanted to say. When she finally looked at him again, he could see the understanding across her beautiful face.

“I wanted it to be you, Harry.”

He knew this, of course. The line between who we want and who we need is thin. She loved him, he knew that, but not like Jon. Still, he knew that if Sansa could choose, choose to love him as deeply as she loved Jon, choose this life they had built over whatever life she may have with Jon – she would.

“I know.” He paused, knowing this was the most important part of the conversation. “Sans, about Lyanna.”

Sansa feverishly shook her head.

“No, she will always have three parents, Harry. You are just as much as part of her life as any of us. If you want to be.”

He loved this woman. Her passion, her kindness. She knew what that little girl meant to him and he had no legal right to ask for anything from her or them. He’d miss their life together more than anything, but knew he would move on, he would find his true love.

His soulmate.

Although it was hard to admit that his soulmate wasn’t Sansa.

“Thank you.”

\--- 9 _weeks 6 days ---_

Sansa silently sat on the couch as she watched Lyanna talk with Jon on the tablet. Sansa and Lyanna had been video calling with most of the family, Sandor, and Tormund – who had quickly become Lyanna’s best friend- so video calling with Jon didn’t seem weird for Lyanna. Still, Sansa saw the light in her eyes each time she told her Jon would be calling.

Harry and Sansa had agreed to wait to tell Lyanna until tonight, they didn’t want to ruin this call for her. Harry would be moving in temporarily with his parents until he found a place in Lyanna’s school district, Ned had purchased this house for Sansa when she and Lyanna moved in, so they would stay. It was where Lyanna grew up and there were lots of memories here.

Still, the thought of staying here without Harry felt wrong but she didn’t want to uproot Lyanna’s life even more.

It wasn’t that she didn’t love Harry or wasn’t sad at what had become of them. She did love him, but he wasn’t wrong, she wasn’t _in love_ with him. She loved him like you would anyone who had shared your life, and she was sad. She was sad she hurt him, sad that the life they had spend years building had crumbled because of her.

She wondered if she should tell Jon, but what would be her end game in that? For Jon to rush back to her? No. She wouldn’t do that.

Harry deserved better.

Jon deserved better.

He had said it, that day on the beach, that it was too late for them. He was angry at her, and she knew that they were done. Jon wanted them, or whatever still lingered between them, to be finished and she would respect that. She had caused him so much pain, it’s the least she could do. He would find out eventually, about Harry and her, but she wasn’t going to use it as a reason for him to come to her.

She didn’t deserve that.

Right now, her only focus was on Lyanna. That’s where her entire focus needed to be. She was handling all the change well, she was such a strong kid, but still Sansa needed her to know that she was loved and that she could feel whatever emotions she needed to.

It would be them against the world, just like it had been for years.

“Mommy, Jon wants to talk to you!” Lyanna shouted as she ran the tablet over to Sansa.

Sansa swallowed before flipping the tablet around to see Jon, sitting at what must be his kitchen table. He looked good. He always looks good.

“Hi, Sans”

Sansa smiled, trying desperately to mask any emotions from him. She noticed Ghost sitting on the table in the frame and laughed quietly.

“I see you’re keeping him safe,” she gestured to the wolf on the table.

Jon picked it up and blushed, scratching the back of his neck.

“Yeah, figured she’d want to see him. Until I get a chance to bring him back.”

Sansa nodded, suddenly feeling awkward. There was so much she wanted to say to him, but so much she wouldn’t say to him. She didn’t know what he would welcome hearing. Luckily a call from Lyanna was the perfect out.

“Listen, Jon. I’ve got to go but just text me when you want to call her and I’ll make sure we’re home to call, okay?”

Sansa quickly went to end the call, barely registering Jon saying _Sansa,_ _wait,_ before the call ended.

_Sansa, wait._

What had he been going to say?

\--- 12 _weeks ---_

Jon sat on the steps of the patio at Winterfell, he would be leaving soon, to Essos and despite that being what he wanted, it was hard to leave. He had spent so much of his childhood here, even before his mom’s death, and after? This was his home, he was raised here.

He understood how hard it must have been for Sansa, to leave it all behind. Its hard for him and he has people waiting for him in Essos, she had no one.

He arranged a job in the same city Sansa lives, signed a 6 month lease on a 2 bedroom condo, with the hopes that Sansa and Harry would eventually let him have Lyanna overnight, or possibly for weekends. Well, Sansa now, he thought, since they were no longer together.

Sansa hadn’t told him, for over a week. He would call every couple days to talk with Lyanna and she hadn’t said a word that they had split, it wasn’t until Harry called him directly that he knew. His thoughts drifted to their conversation a week ago.

_Jon had just e-signed the lease on his condo in Essos when his phone rang, he didn’t recognize the number but knew it was an Essos area code – he answered immediately._

_“Jon, hey. It’s uh, it’s Harry.”_

_Jon moved the phone from one ear to the other so he could sit straighter, confused and panicked that Harry would be calling him instead of Sansa._

_“Hey, Harry. Everything okay?”_

_Jon heard Harry clear his throat on the other end, relaxing slightly because if it had been serious, Harry wouldn’t be stalling. Still though, he was completely confused as to why Harry would be calling him._

_“Yeah. Everything’s fine. Listen, I wasn’t going to do this, but I needed to call you and chat about my relationship with Lyanna.”_

_“okay..” Jon said, waiting for him to continue. Assuming this was probably the pre-emptive don’t fuck with my family call before Jon moved there. He guessed he deserved it after what happened months ago._

_“I just want to make sure that you know, that despite Sansa and I no longer being together, I do intend to remain in Lyanna’s life. I’m not saying this to be an ass, but I need you to understand how important she is to me.”_

_What. The. Fuck_

_“wait, what? What was that about you and Sansa?”_

_“She.. didn’t tell you?” Harry sounded surprised. “We broke up almost two weeks ago, I’ve moved out.”_

_Jon said nothing, he was shocked to say the least. Why hadn’t Sansa told him?_

_Was she worried he would come running?_

_Did she not want him to?_

_Had the years, the hurt, the secrets between them finally created such a rift between them. She obviously wanted him in Lyanna’s life, but was that the extent of his role to her now?_

_“She really didn’t tell you any of this?” came Harry’s voice over the phone._

_Jon sighed, “no, she didn’t.”_

Jon and Harry had talked a little while longer, Jon letting Harry know that any fears he had about Jon getting in the way between him and Lyanna were for nothing, because Jon wouldn’t do that. To either of them. He figured out that Harry must have been the one to end it, based on some of the things he said, but Jon had no idea why, nor did he ask, that wasn’t his business.

He had talked to Sansa so many times since that conversation, each time he called Lyanna and she had never said anything, never even hinted at the fact that she was alone. Jon wouldn’t push it, she had to know that he would figure it out once he got to Essos, but she clearly didn’t want to talk about it.

Jon sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose just as he saw a shadow cast in front of him. Robb sat down on the steps beside him and handed him a beer.

“You ready, to leave all this?” Robb asked, gesturing to the beauty of Winterfell. Jon laughed.

“My condo definitely doesn’t have this view, but yeah. I’m ready.”

It was true, his condo was nice, and Essos was a nice place, but nothing would compare to the North.

“And be a full time Dad? How does it feel?” Robb asked.

“I can’t wait. I’ve missed out on enough” it was true, he had missed so much already, but she still had an entire lifetime he could be a part of. “This is the right move.”

Robb nodded.

“What about Sansa?” Robb asked, Jon had told Robb of his conversation with Harry. He was shocked to learn that Robb already knew.

“What about Sansa?” Jon repeated back to him.

Robb sighed, “what are you doing, man? She’s not with Harry and yet you’re still here?”

“I’m leaving in a week.”

“Yeah, you’re leaving in a week but we both know you’re not going to her. Why, Jon? Is this about punishing her for the lies? You have every right to be angry, but you guys have a shot here. A _real_ shot, to be a family and you’re not taking it?”

Robb was frustrated with him, that much Jon knew but to think that Jon would punish Sansa, or himself for that matter, was utter crap.

“Of course its not about punishing her, Robb. Do I need to remind you she hasn’t told me either? She doesn’t want to talk about it.”

It was the truth, though still even Jon knew that wasn’t the only reason for his hesitation.

“When would that have ever stopped you before?” Robb pushed. He knew Jon too well.

Jon sighed, “I promised Ned, okay?”

Jon groaned and ran a hand down his face before looking back at Robb, who looked at him confused. Jon knew he needed to explain it further.

“When I told him I wanted out, I promised him this wasn’t to get Sansa back. It was about keeping my girls safe, not weaseling my way back into Sansa’s life. He died trying to get me out, to make it safe for me to leave and go to them. I will not go back on my word now, not after what he sacrificed.”

Robb shook his head and sighed before reaching into his jacket pocket and pulling out an envelope with **Jon** written on the front. 

“I found these, couple days ago, when I was going through Dad’s files in the safe. There was one for all of us, mom and Sans too.” He handed Jon the envelope. “Far as I could tell by mine, they were written after we started going after the Bolton’s and the Targ’s.”

Jon swallowed, and looked down at the envelope. Ned had written these, in the event that something was to happen to him, his last thoughts.

He and Ned always had a good relationship, up until the truth about Sansa’s leaving. Even with everything it remained strained until his death, Jon figuring they could mend it afterwards, once they had won. He was nervous to read what Ned had written.

Robb chuckled lowly, “Don’t be upset if it’s not long. Mine wasn’t, nor was Arya’s. Short, to the point, no bullshit. Very Ned.”

Jon nodded but said nothing, Robb stood and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“For what it’s worth? Sansa loves you. I know you love her. Life is short, Jon. You know that better than any of us, don’t be an idiot.”

Still, Jon remained silent. Too overcome with emotion to talk, he closed his eyes and steadied his breathing before opening the letter.

_Jon,_

_I know you’re angry with me and that while you claim to understand why I did what I did, that my actions hurt you. Jon, I have always thought of you has a son, whether you are with Sansa or not, whether I chose Sansa over you in that moment or not._

_You are family._

_I hope you never read this, but should you have to, know that I always intended to repair the relationship you and I have once this is over, to make up to you any pain I caused. There is no doubt in my mind about the type of father you will be, your father may had been a waste of space, but he showed you everything you aimed not to be. You will offer that little girl more love and more support than she could imagine. You will be an amazing father._

_I am proud of you._

_~~You have~~ _

_One last thing. If you ever feel like there is a chance for you and Sansa, if something changes and you have a shot of being a family. Take it. Let go of the anger, the guilt, the broken promises. If there is one thing I know, without a shadow of a doubt, it is the love you harbour for my daughter. I intended to tell you this in person, when this is over, but I never believed for one second that this wasn’t about Sansa – even if you tried to believe it yourself._

_You have always been my son,_

_Dad_

Jon gripped the edges of the letter so tight his knuckles paled.

_Family_

_Son_

_Proud_

_Dad_

Jon laughed as her roughly wiped away the tear that had fallen. Though he hadn’t admitted it, part of his anger towards Ned had been that he felt as though he wasn’t family. That by choosing Sansa, he had chosen ‘his kids’ over Jon, and that despite raising him, Jon would be nothing more than the spare. That had hurt, to accept that truth.

Only, it wasn’t the truth. Ned had put Sansa above everyone with that choice, Robb, Arya, hell even his wife. Jon was never a spare. He always had a family, and right now his family was across the fucking ocean- waiting for him.

Sansa may have given up on them, but he owed it to himself, to Sansa, to Lyanna to give it one last shot. With no barriers in the way, no secrets, no lies, no guilt.

_Family._

\--- _13 weeks 1 day---_

Sansa had just finished the dishes when she sat on the sofa with her tea and the remote. It was Friday night and Lyanna was spending her first weekend with harry at his parent’s, he had picked her up from school that afternoon.

For the first time, in a long time, Sansa was alone.

Lyanna had taken the news that Sansa and harry would be living apart surprisingly well, she didn’t fully understand which was probably for the best. They had made sure to let her know they were still a family, despite Harry not living with them anymore. The blow was further softened when Harry had said she could help decorate her new room once he moves into his new house.

Sansa had tried to keep busy the last couple weeks, so she didn’t think about Jon or Harry, but instead focus on Lyanna and work. She had tried to keep Lyanna’s routine as normal as possible despite all the changes around her. Harry still got her from school on days he wasn’t at the hospital and they would spend the evening together, Sansa arranged playdates for her when Harry moved his stuff out. Most of the furniture was Sansa’s before Harry, but he had taken his bedroom set back. Which suited her just fine, sleeping in the bed they shared for years just felt wrong.

Sansa used to love nights alone, when Harry would take Lyanna somewhere late, or she would have a sleep over with her grandparents and Harry would be at the hospital. Those nights rarely happened, but Sansa relished in her ‘me time’.

Now, she just felt lonely.

She slowly sipped her tea and aimlessly watched a silly made for TV movie. Her thoughts constantly wondering to Lyanna and Harry or Jon, wondering how her life had changed so drastically so quickly. The mistakes she’d made, the people she had hurt.

She drifted off to sleep and was woken to the sound of the doorbell ringing, quickly grabbing her phone from the coffee table she looked at the time – 10:30. Who in the bloody hell would be knocking on her door at this hour.

Sansa slowly made her way to the living room window, to peek at who was at the door, phone in hand just in case. She blinked rapidly at the image in front of her, as if he were a dream.

_Jon_

She quickly made her way to the door and swung it open.

“Jon, what are yo- why are you?”

Jon chuckled, and shook his head.

“Hello, to you too.”

“Hi, sorry. Uhm, sorry. Lyanna isn’t here.”

 _Shit._ Silently cursing herself for saying it, Jon didn’t know about her and harry, she had planned to tell him when he arrived, which wasn’t supposed to be for another week.

“I know.” He paused, his eyes filled with a look Sansa wasn’t sure of. No anger, no sadness, it almost looked like… determination?

“Invite me in, Sansa.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I HOPE I did this chapter justice!  
> It was such an important chapter.  
> Please let me know your thoughts, we are close to the finish line! One more chapter!!


	14. We got here in the end

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all!!  
> Its the end! The final chapter!  
> Quick not before we get started, there are time frames at the start of each new scene, to let you know where we are in the story!
> 
> I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I did writing it!

\--- that night ---

“Invite me in, Sansa.”

He knew she was shocked, to see him here. He wasn’t supposed to arrive for another week, and he hadn’t called to tell her he was coming earlier. It was late, but it was the only flight Jon could get, and he had checked into his hotel before coming over.

Lyanna had mentioned she was having a sleepover at her Grandparents this weekend and Jon had texted Harry for their address and to confirm Lyanna was with him. He had felt awkward about it at first, but Harry had basically told him to go to her.

_She loves you._

Sansa stepped aside and gestured for Jon to come in, she had that adorable crease in her forehead that she got when she was confused about something.

Their house was so Sansa. Quaint and cozy. Exactly what he would have imagined for her, for them.

“Do you want some coffee? Or tea? I can put on a pot.” Sansa asked as she made her way to the open concept kitchen. Jon smiled and shook his head as he followed behind her, whenever Sansa was nervous, she fed people. He decided to indulge her.

“Coffee would be great.”

As Sansa made the coffee, Jon had a minute to just admire her. Gods, she was beautiful. She was wearing tight leggings that hugged her in all the right places, and a white sweater that looked incredibly soft. Jon could tell she had lost weight though, most likely due to stress and even though she was stunning her could see the dark circles under her eyes.

She looked tired and sad, like she had been crying _._

His heart ached for her, he wanted to pull her into him and just hold her, but they needed to talk.

Sansa set his coffee, black, the way he always took it, in front of him at the kitchen island and she she put distance between them by leaning with her back against the counter.

Jon smirked.

“Afraid I’ll bite?”

Sansa looked down at her coffee, before looking back up at him through her lashes.

_Gods, this woman._

She sighed, “What are you doing here, Jon?”

Ignoring the question, Jon set his coffee down on the island and rounded the corner, mirroring her body language and he folded his arms over his chest.

“Why didn’t you tell me about Harry?” he challenged back.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath and for the first time, the mask fell. Jon could see beyond the smile and dark circles, he could see the pain. He wondered how often she let the mask fall in the last 3 months, if she’s let anyone know how badly she was struggling.

“I was going to tell you, when you got here. I just didn’t want you to feel like you had any obligation to.” She stopped mid-sentence, her bottom lip quivering.

She closed her eyes, as if she were willing her composure before continuing.

“I heard what you said, Jon. At the beach. I heard you and I respect that. You’re here now, and you can be in Lyanna’s life as much as you want to be. I know you, I know you always do the honorable thing, I didn’t want you to feel like you had to give _us_ a chance just because Harry left.”

Jon didn’t know what to say, but he felt like a total ass. Yes, he had meant what he said that day, on the beach. He was angry but he had meant it, but the ONLY reason is was too late for them was because she had a life with Harry. Jon had never thought that she would take it as it was too late for them in general.

He had thought that the reason Sansa hadn’t told him is because she didn’t want to. Yet the whole time she had been hurting because she thought he wouldn’t want to know. He could almost laugh at how stupid they both were.

For two people who knew each other so well, who loved each other so much, they lacked the ability to communicate – that ends today.

“Sansa, stop.” He said gently, reaching forward and pulling her into him. He wrapped himself around her and just held her, and even though she didn’t make a sound he could feel her crying against his chest, her little hands fisted in his shirt.

“I never meant it like that, Sansa.” He whispered to her. “You and I were always meant to be a family.”

Sansa shook her head and pushed out from him embrace, roughly wiping the tears from her face.

“No. No. I’ve hurt too many people. I won’t do it again. Lyanna needs you in her life, and that’s great. You need to focus on her. I hurt people, when I get too close, I hurt them. I won’t do it again.”

Jon’s heart ached for her, how broken she had become from the guilt she felt. Guilt she needed to let go of. Mistakes were made, by everyone, but they all came out stronger. She wasn’t the only one who made mistakes.

Jon grabbed the two envelopes from his jacket pocket and placed them on the island in front of her, he knew she would know whose writing it was. She blinked rapidly down at the envelope that said _Sansa_.

“What are those?”

Jon stepped forward and gently pinched her chin between his thumb and forefinger, forcing her to look at him.

“They are letters. Robb found them, one for all of us… from Ned.”

Jon watched as she broke, her face contorted in the pain she felt.

“Oh my god.” She sobbed. “I can’t, I can’t read that.”

“You can, Sansa.”

She looked up at him, her eyes wide and so innocent.

“Why are there two?”

“One is yours, and one is mine. I want you to read yours, and then I want you to read mine.”

She blinked, “why?”

“It will make sense when you read mine, sweetheart.” He watched as she blushed at the endearment.

Sansa tried to pull away again, but he wouldn’t let her, gently dragging her back to him. He dipped down so he was looking her in the eyes.

“Sansa go read them. Okay?” she nodded, “I’ll wait.” He said gently.

\---

Sansa shook as she sat on her bed, letters in hand. She had so many questions. Why was Jon here? How did he know that Lyanna wasn’t here? Why does he have these letters?

_What do they say?_

The biggest question of all but the one Sansa was most afraid of the answer for. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath before slowly opening the letter marked _Sansa._

_Sansa,_

_I hope this letter never finds you, I hope you never have to read these words or know the pain of losing anyone else you love. If you do end up reading this, there are a few things I need you to know._

_First, I am so proud of you. I know the last few weeks have been tough, and I have seen the guilt you carry for the decisions made all those years ago, but Sansa that burden lies with me. I should have done things differently, but regardless of any decision, mistake or not, I am so proud of you. No one will know the hardships you faced doing this alone, becoming a mom alone. You did it, and you did it with grace, integrity and strength. Three traits you should be proud to pass onto your little girl._

_Second, you need to let go of your guilt, Sansa. It will kill you. Whether mistakes were made or not, you need to move past it. Your guilt regarding me, your mother, your siblings, Harry, Jon. I can see the burden you carry, and I have spoken with Sandor since you’ve been home. You are struggling, and I promise when this is done, I will be there, to help you. We all will. If I can’t be though... Sansa you need to give yourself a break. You are a good person, and an even better mother._

_Finally, be happy, Sansa. Find what makes you happy and go after it. You deserve it, everyone deserves to be happy and whatever you’re feeling about yourself, or your choices, doesn’t change that. If your happiness is Jon, don’t let your guilt take that from you. That boy loves you, Sansa. I’ve known it since he was 13. You are it for him, and I believe you feel the same. But if your happiness is Harry or neither, that’ okay too. Don’t let your guilt keep you from what you need to be happy, because being happy is the absolute best thing you can do for Lyanna._

_I love you, Sansa. You have always been and will always be my little girl, but remember you are the strongest one of us all._

_Love always,_

_Dad_

Sansa gently placed the letter on the bed beside her, as her hands visibly shook. She imagined her father writing these letters to the people he loved most, god, how her mom must have felt receiving it. He must have known the target was on him, or at the very least he knew that what they were doing was dangerous. Dangerous enough that it would cost him his life, yet he did it anyways.

For her.

For them.

Sansa picked up Jon’s letter, part of her felt like reading it was so wrong, to read the private words Ned had wrote for Jon, but Jon had wanted her to read it so there had to be a reason.

Something Jon needed her to read.

She took a breath and wiped away the tears in her eyes to clear away her fuzzy vision before opening Jon’s letter.

\---

Sansa stood, then sat on the bed again, before standing again. Every fiber in her body wanted to go to him, go right downstairs to Jon and just hold him. He was here.

He was here for her.

Here for them.

Not because of honor, or duty, or even just because of Lyanna. He wanted her, he wanted both of them, he wanted to be a family because he loved them.

_Love._

She had so desperately tried to convince herself that she could move on, that he could move on. She couldn’t help but laugh at how absolutely ridiculous that all sounded now. She would never love anyone like she loved him. It wasn’t just attraction or their history. She would never love someone else, she would never be able to push Jon away because without him she wasn’t whole.

He was her light at the end of the tunnel. All this time, when she thought she was running from him, moving forward to something else, he was always going to be what she ran too. They were it.

It wasn’t wrong to love him.

It didn’t make her weak. It didn’t make her a bad person or a bad mom. He made her stronger, he made her better.

He made her whole.

She knew that if they were going to do this, they needed to do it differently this time. They weren’t kids anymore, they weren’t home in Winterfell. This needed to be different because this needed to be forever.

She quickly checked herself in the mirror, wiping away any mascara that had run, and fixing her hair and she went downstairs, letters in hand.

Jon was sitting at the kitchen table when Sansa came down, their eyes locking the minute she made her way into the room. Neither said anything for a moment, it was like a sudden calmness washed over them and they hadn’t wanted to ruin it. Then he gave her one of his lopsided, schoolboy grins and she felt her heart flip.

She nodded to a question he hadn’t asked but knew he wanted the answer to. No words needed to be spoken between them right now, each of them just knew. 

Jon came over to Sansa and kissed her gently, running his thumb over her cheek. Sansa leaned forward to kiss him again, and again. Each kiss between them growing more feverish, more urgent.

Everything they both felt, everything neither one had said yet, being poured into this moment.

He was everywhere. Kissing. Nipping. Touching.

Gods she missed him, missed this. Even in Westeros, weeks ago, there was always the anger between them, the secrets, the cheating. That was gone now, it was just them in this moment.

Sansa knew how easy it would be to just give into each other, to give themselves to each other completely, it’s not like that hadn’t done that before, but she knew they couldn’t do that this time – not yet.

She knew who Jon was, the important concentrate parts of Jon that makes him the man he is, she knew him. Yet, she still didn’t _know_ him, not anymore. They needed to do this right, they need to do this slowly.

“Jon.” Sansa said, gently pushed on his shoulder, stopping him. “Jon, stop.”

Jon groaned but stopped, he was panting as he rested his forehead on hers.

“Jon, I’ve made so many mistakes-” Sansa started.

“Sansa…” Jon warned, she knows he wants her to let it go. Let go of the hurt. She smiled; he is always taking care of her. She shook her head.

“No, listen, Jon. I have made so many mistakes with us. I know I love you, and I know you love me, but we need to go slowly.”

Jon smirked and nodded slowly, “slowly?”

Sansa blushed, “I think, I think we should date.”

She bit her bottom lip, nervous about his reaction, would he find her ridiculous? Dating the mother of his child? Letting her nerves get the best of her she started rambling.

“I know it seems silly, considering out past and the fact that we have a daughter so clearly we’ve passed slowly before. But I just think-“

Jon chuckled and quickly kissed her lightly, successfully stopping her rant. Smiling her looked down at her, he was happy, she could tell from the little wrinkle at the corner of his eyes.

“Sansa Stark, will you go on a date with me?”

Smiling, Sansa nodded.

“I’d love that.”

\--- One day ---

“Sansa. Sansa wake up.”

He gently shook her awake. After they had agreed to take things slow, Jon and Sansa had sat down with a drink and spent hours talking. Jon told Sansa how he knew Lyanna wouldn’t be home, and his talk with Harry. Sansa told Jon about her letter, allowing him to read it. They had a lot to talk about, and a lot to figure out but they had time. Mostly the just talked and laughed.

It was nice

Sansa filled him in on their life here, Lyanna’s school and her friends, Sansa’s social circle. Things they liked to do, places they liked to go. It had been so many years since they had just spent time together, she was his best friend, and he hadn’t realized how much he missed this piece of her.

At some point they must have fallen asleep because Jon woke with the sun starting to shine through the curtains and Sansa curled up with her head on his lap.

He watched her begin to stir below him, as she stretched and blushed when she realized exactly where she was.

_Adorable._

“Hi,” she whispered, she sat up and rubbed her eyes. “What time is it?”

Jon shifted to grab his phone from his pocket.

“It’s quarter after seven,” he leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Sansa had told him last night that Harry would be dropping Lyanna off around 830, before heading to the hospital, they had decided they wouldn’t tell Lyanna about them just yet, instead just having him around and spending time with them, they would tell her once they figured it all out.

He also knew Sansa would want to talk with Harry. Even though he pretty much knew what was going to happen, they owed it to him to be honest, especially where Lyanna is involved.

“Why don’t you go upstairs and get ready, I’ll make coffee and then I’ll head out before they get here?” Jon asked.

Sansa smiled, “Thank you.” She stood and started upstairs, she turned around before leaving the room and asked. “Do you want to come by later? I told Lyanna we’d walk to the ice cream shop, maybe you want to come with us? She’ll be excited to see you.”

“Sure, that would be great.”

Sansa beamed and then dashed upstairs while Jon attempted to make coffee. Figuring out Sansa’s coffee maker was a goddamn struggle. It was some high-tech gadget that looked good on a counter but wasn’t intuitive to use.

Jon chuckled at the domesticity of it all, they never had this before. Last time they were together they were so young, Sansa still lived her parents, and they were sort of stuck in their roles of ‘young lovers’. This was different, he could feel it.

Jon finally figured it out and finished making two cups just as he heard Sansa make her way downstairs. He glanced at the clock on the stove quickly, 7:45, he knew he should be going soon in case they came home early.

He turned to see Sansa and he nearly tripped. Dressed in simple jeans and a white knit sweater, she looked so effortlessly stunning, and like such a mom. He decided right then and there that this would always be his favorite version of her, nothing suited Sansa more.

She smiled and they shared a quick morning coffee together before Jon got ready to leave. Jon pulled her in for a hug in the doorway and placed a lingering kiss to her temple.

“Text me later? Let me know when you want me to come by?”

He felt Sansa nod against his chest, kissed her quickly and left. For the first time in so many years leaving her behind wasn’t hard. He wasn’t sad, or angry or bitter, because he knew he was going back to them.

_No more goodbyes._

\---

When Sansa had told Lyanna that Jon had come to Essos to few days early she couldn’t have been more excited. She had immediately run upstairs rambling about all the things she wanted to show Jon.

Sansa wondered about their connection, how on some unconscious level their bond was already so deep. Sure, Lyanna knew he was a friend of Sansa’s and she liked him, but she hadn’t responded this way to anyone else – only Jon. Her excitement was of course topped when Sansa casually mentioned she may have asked Jon to join them for ice cream later, if that was alright with her, she had rarely seen her daughters smile quite so big.

Truth be told, Sansa was nervous and excited about ‘dating’ Jon again. Getting to see the man he is now, getting to know him, reconnect with him. It gave her butterflies.

Like clockwork a knock on the door came at exactly 3pm and at the door was Jon.

Starbucks in one hand, Ghost in the other.

“For you,” he said handing her the coffee, he ducked his head down and his eyes looked around. “Where’s Lyanna?”

“Upstairs.”

Jon grinned and quickly kissed Sansa on the cheek before coming in, Sansa closed the door behind him.

“Thank you for the coffee,” she said.

Jon smirked, “Hazelnut latte with an extra shot of espresso and cinnamon on top. I assumed your ordered hadn’t changed”

It hadn’t, but her heart burst that he remembered.

They both heard it, the immediate scurry of footsteps coming down the stairs.

“Brace yourself,” Sansa laughed but Jon was already getting down on his knees.

“JON!” Lyanna shouted as she threw herself into him, Jon bracing into his heals to catch her.

“oof. Hi.” He laughed.

Sansa smiled and inconspicuously wiped a tear threatening to fall before either could see.

_These two._

They were both just so happy. This was a side of Jon she hadn’t seen very often, and not since they were a lot younger. Even then she wasn’t sure he was ever this free. She wondered briefly if it would have been like this had he left with her six years ago, or if the fear of remaining threats and the sadness of losing another family would have kept Jon darker and less open.

Maybe it needed to happen the way it did, for Jon to be free.

Wholly and completely free.

Sansa casually sipped her drink and leaned against the wall, watching as Jon and Lyanna chatted happily. Jon reached behind him and grabbed Ghost.

“I brought someone with me,” he said and he handed Ghost to Lyanna.

Lyanna gasped and quickly grabbed ghost, squeezing the toy with every ounce of her strength before hugging Jon again.

“thank you, thank you, thank you!” Pulling back before quickly sprinting away as she shouted, “I’m going to put him upstairs and then we can goooo!”

Jon laughed as he stood and shook his head, coming over to Sansa.

“She’s pretty spectacular.”

Sansa smiled in the direction of the stairs before looking back at Jon.

“She is.”

She wanted to kiss him, and she could see how badly he wanted to kiss he, but for Lyanna’s sake, until they figured out when to tell her and how, they refrained. Instead his hand lightly ghosted her hip, running his thumb along her side.

“Okay! Lets go get ice cream, please!” Lyanna said as she bounded down the steps.

_Yup, this. This is everything._

\--- Five Days ---

Sansa and Jon had spent the next few days talking, texting, and spending the odd evening together with Lyanna. Jon would either come by for dessert or come say hello after school. Sansa had work during the week and Lyanna had school, Jon hadn’t started his new job yet but was busy getting his apartment in order. He had asked Sansa and Lyanna to come see it the coming weekend and Sansa knew he wanted it to be unpacked before she saw.

**Sansa [8:08 pm] – Hi! Harry just called and asked if he could have Lyanna over next weekend, he’s moving into his new place. So….**

**Jon [8:10pm] – Sansa Stark, are you asking me on a date?**

**Sansa [8:11pm] – lol nope. I’m just letting you know I am free so YOU can ask ME on a date.**

**Jon [8:15pm] – ahhh. Good to know** **😉**

Sansa waited, she knew he was teasing her. She hadn’t realized how much she missed this over the last 6 years, more than that if she were being honest. This playful, carefree side of Jon that had all but disappeared before she’d gotten pregnant. Her heart burst, that this is who he got to be now.

Happy.

Young.

**Sansa [8:22pm] - … Jon!**

**Jon [8:22pm] – lol Sansa, will you go on a date with me next Saturday?**

**Sansa [8:25pm] – awe! How nice of you to ask, I’ll check my schedule** **😉**

**Jon [8:26pm] – You are something else, you know that?**

**Sansa [8:28pm] – So I’ve been told** **😊**

**Sansa [8:28pm] – Jon? I’ve missed this.**

**Jon [8:29pm] – Baby, you have no idea how much I’ve missed this.**

\--- two weeks later---

Jon was nervous.

Fuck, no.

He was terrified.

He had taken Sansa on hundreds of dates- movies, dinners, clubs, bars – you name it they’d done it. Yet, this all felt so different. It was like going on a date with your best friend and a complete strange at the same time.

He knew Sansa, he knew everything about who she was as a person. She was kind and selfless, bold but shy, confidant but unsure. He _knew_ her, but at the same time, he didn’t. He didn’t know this version of her, Sansa as a grown woman.

Sansa as a mom.

He couldn’t wait to discover who she had become, how she had changed since leaving all those years ago. He was excited, and she gave him those fucking butterflies like he was some 16-year-old boy again. By the time he had finally arrived to pick her up his hands were sweating, he laughed to himself at how ridiculous he was being.

All peace of mind he had was lost the moment she stepped out of the house.

_Holy shit._

She was stunning, she had said to dress casual but even casual made her a knockout. Jon’s hand instinctively went to his heart.

“Fuck, Sansa.”

She smiled shyly at him, a slight blush to her cheeks. Jon had to physically stop himself from throwing her over his shoulder and taking her right back inside the house. The things she made him feel, the things he wanted to make her feel. Gods.

Sansa quickly walked over to him and kissed him lightly on the lips.

“Hi,” she smiled. “ready to go?”

Jon laughed at her urgency, either she was just as nervous as he was, or she could read his mind and wanted to make sure they actually made it to dinner. He guessed both and he would let her have this one. They needed this, a night out, and if he was lucky enough and she let him, he would spend all night showing her how much he loved her.

Sansa had chosen sushi for dinner because she had been absolutely shocked that Jon had never had it. _Will you ever get past steak and pasta, Jon Snow?_ she had asked him. In truth, probably not, but he was willing to experience anything she wanted to show him.

As the night went on, they fell into an ease. The conversation at no point felt forced or awkward. No topics were avoided in fear of hurting the other person’s feelings, no secrets. There was such an openness between them as they reminisced about their past and filled in the blanks of the time they’d missed.

Sansa told him more about her job, which she was incredibly passionate about, he was so proud of her, what she had created for herself here. Outside of just being a mom and he made sure he told her that. 

He learned she could more than support herself and had long stopped receiving any financial help from Ned, truly seeking her own independence. Even with Harry she only ever allowed him to go 50/50 with her, despite his profession and salary.

He realized that these were the pieces missing to truly understand her, understand the woman she is now. He wanted to be her partner.

Jon filled her in on his job, a friend of Ned’s who was not in any way connected to organized crime, had helped Jon get a position at a tech firm in Essos, starting as a junior account manager. He was nervous, having never actually had a ‘real’ job before, which sounded ridiculous as a 30-year-old man, but he knew he had the skills to do it and the team seemed great.

He watched as she smiled proudly at him when he told her he would be going back to school, to get a business degree. She always was his biggest cheerleader. He had done well in high school and he remembered clearly the disappointment on her face when he refused to go to University, instead stepping fully into the family life. She always wanted something more for him and truthfully, he was excited to achieve something for himself, something he’d really have to work at.

“So,” Sansa asked. “How was your first sushi experience?”

Jon laughed as he popped another roll into his mouth.

“Good, except maybe the sashimi.”

Sansa shrugged, “You’ll learn to love it, even Lyanna likes it.”

Jon was shocked, “she does not.”

“Oh trust me, she does” laughed Sansa.

More than anything Jon looked forward to those moments, the ones of the three of them together, getting to be a family. He knew they needed to wait, him and Sansa needed to connect again before letting Lyanna know what they were, he didn’t want to rush into telling her since Harry hadn’t left that long ago. They could still spend plenty of time as a family, although keeping his hands to himself was becoming increasingly more difficult.

The topic of sex hadn’t come up, Jon wouldn’t push it, what happened the night of Robb and Margaery’s wedding had been out of passion and need, fueled by their emotions – albeit mostly negative ones.

Hurt.

Sadness.

Anger.

Longing.

This wouldn’t be like that, it would be different when they finally got to be with one and other again, and although every fiber in his body was hoping that would be tonight, he would let Sansa decide that, only when she ready.

They had driven home in a comfortable silence, Sansa reached over and grabbed him hand, ad there was something so simple about it, holding hands.

It was everything.

Jon got out of the car to walk Sansa to her door, she smiled at him and held out her hand, leading him up to the porch before stopping and turning to him.

 _Not tonight_ , Jon thought.

He gently kissed her goodnight, which she responded to immediately and moaned, gods how he loved her little noises. He felt her smile against his lips and she pulled back. He ran his hand over her hair before settling on the back of her neck, bringing her in for one more chaste kiss.

“Goodnight, Sansa.”

She looked confused for a second, before smiling.

“Do you have somewhere to be?” she jested.

Jon shook his head and she bit her bottom lip. He knew she wanted him, he could see it, he always knew, but she needed to tell him. Not because he needed to hear it, but because she needed her to be sure – to be ready. He wouldn’t rush her.

She would get there eventually.

“Do you,” she hesitated, and Jon had to stop himself from chuckling. She had always been shy about asking for what she wanted. She took a breath, “do you want to stay the night?”

_Beep beep._

Jon quickly locked the car doors and Sansa giggled as Jon swiftly pulled her in for one hell of a kiss.

“Fuck yes,” he growled.

\---

Sansa shook from anticipation has she tried her get her key into the lock of her front door, Jon behind her slowly peppering her neck with kisses and his hand on her waist, rubbing gently circles on her hip bone.

When she finally got the door open Jon swiftly spun her and picked her up. Sansa squeaked in surprise as Jon chuckled darkly against her mouth and kicked the front door closed.

Sansa could feel how hard Jon was through his jeans as he effortlessly carried her upstairs, both hands firmly placed on her ass and he demanded entrance to her mouth. Sansa playfully bit his lower lip and her growled.

“Sansa.” He warned, Sansa smiled. She loved this side of Jon, this unrestrained and passionate version of him.

She had been thinking about this all night, if it would happen or not. She wanted it, gods did she ever want him, but it needed to be the right time. Jon hadn’t asked or tried to have sex at all with her tonight, never hinting or even mentioning the topic tonight, he wasn’t going to rush her, the ball was in her court and she knew that.

This may not be what some considered ‘slow’, two weeks and one date, but for them it was. They had known each other an entire lifetime, slept together too many times to count and had a child together, there was no need to wait any more, and neither of them wanted too.

Sleeping together tonight didn’t mean Jon was suddenly going to move in or they would both suddenly lose their heads. They would still date and go slow for Lyanna and themselves.

But tonight?

Tonight, Sansa _needed_ Jon, she needed to give herself to him and just be with him.

They both needed it.

Jon had gently dropped Sansa on the bed and quickly disposed of her sweater and bra, kissing his way down her neck, breasts and stomach.

He paused at the waistband of her jeans and looked up at her, resting his chin on her stomach. Sansa swallowed, his eyes were black and she knew his need matched hers.

She nodded.

Jon kissed her hip bone and smiled as her undid the button of her jeans and pulled them off. Jon slowly kissed his way up her legs and Sansa groaned and wiggled. The pace was driving her crazy.

“Jon..” she groaned. She needed him and he was teasing her.

“Patience, Sansa. I’ve got you.”

Sansa closed her eyes and bit her lip, biting back a moan as Jon lightly kissed her panties before sliding them down her legs. She should be embarrassed how wantonly she was spread out on the bed, with Jon fully clothed above her, but she couldn’t find it in her to care.

“Fuck Sansa,” Jon growled as he ran a finger through her folds. “You’re so fucking wet.”

Sansa whimpered as he just barely entered her with his finger before pulling out and swiping through her folds again.

“Jon, please,” she begged.

Finally taking pity on her he lowered his mouth to her and moaned. Sansa felt the vibrations through her body and almost lost herself. Jon swiped his tongue through her folds before circling her clit and pushing two fingers inside her.

“Come on, baby.” He said before gently biting down on her nub, Sansa moaned as he quickened his pace with his fingers, pumping in and out.

“Jon,” she cried out as she felt her stomach tighten as she came. He continued to lick and suck as she rode through it.

She pulled on his hair, bringing him up to her as she kissed him. Tasting herself on his lips.

“You are way too overdressed.” She whispered, Jon quickly fixed that stripping his shirt and jeans until he was only in his boxers before her.

God, he was a specimen of a man, his body hard and muscular. Sansa licked her lips and she crawled over to him.

Jon smirked down at her as she pushed his boxers down his legs. He was rock hard, and Sansa felt herself get even more wet as she licked the drop of liquid from his tip.

Jon groaned as his hand instinctively went to her hair, closing into a fist at the back of her head. Sansa moaned as she took him in her mouth, sliding down as far as she could and wrapping her hand around the rest. Her mouth and hands working in tandem as Jon’s moans got louder.

“Sansa,” Jon growled as he pulled her head back. Sansa licked her lips and looked up at him, he looked completely undone… wild.

She loved it.

Sansa raised up on her legs, so she was closer to eye level and he ran his thumb over her bottom lip, Sansa moved quickly to nip at it. Jon closed his eyes and tightened his fist in her hair, it was almost painful.

_Almost._

Mostly it just turned her on. She didn’t want to wait anymore, she wanted Jon and she wanted him now. Jon must have thought the same because when he opened his eyes, he pushed her back on the bed and climb on top of her.

Taking himself in hand Jon slid himself through her folds, coating himself in her wetness.

“Fuck, Sansa. I need you now, can I have you?”

Sansa nodded and Jon thrust into her completely, filling her to the hilt. Gods, she loved having him inside of her.

Sansa gasped when Jon pulled nearly all the way out before slamming into her again.

“Fuck, Jon” she moaned.

Jon set a quick pace, slamming into her deeper with each thrust, Sansa matched his speed and whimpered. She was so close, she just needed _more._

Jon slid his hand between them and brought his thumb to her nub, rubbing in fast rough circles and quickly bringing her over the edge, he slowed but didn’t stop as she let her orgasm wash over her. Jon quickly flipped them over.

“I’m not done with you yet,” he growled as her brought her up to her and hands and knees while he stayed seated inside her. He tugged her hair, so she turned to face him, he kissed her gently before smirking and slamming into her from behind.

“Jon!” Sansa screamed. His hands digging into her hips as he pounded into her. She knew he would leave marks, and she loved it. Even though she was fully at his mercy she felt so powerful, having this effect on him. Sansa knew she could break through Jon’s legendary control, her and only her.

_She loved it._

Sansa arched her back and threw her head back in pure pleasure as he continued, she could feel herself getting close for a third time, Jon grunted behind her.

“Fuck Sansa, you’re so fucking tight like this. I missed this, I missed your perfect cunt, and how good you are.”

Sansa mewed beneath him, gods, his mouth. She clenched around him.

“Fuck,” he hissed. “You like that huh? You like being a good girl.”

Sansa nodded, Jon’s hand left her hip to wrap into her har, pulling her head back again.

“Say it, Sansa.” He growled.

“I like it,” she moaned, and oh did she ever.

“Touch yourself, Sansa. I need you to come again.”

Sansa did as she was told and brought her fingers to her clit, rubbing in fast circles before she came, clamping down on him hard.

Jon groaned as her finished deep inside her.

\---

They all but collapsed onto the bed, Jon careful not to crush her as he fell beside her, both of them panting and sweaty. He rolled onto his back and Sansa curled up beside him, her hand aimlessly tracing circles on his chest.

Jon had to look at her just to believe this wasn’t some sort of dream. Sansa here in his arms.

It wasn’t.

He was home.

“Jon?”

She pulled him from his musings, and he glanced down at her. He couldn’t keep himself from smiling as those big blue eyes looked up at him, full of love.

“hmm” he hummed.

“I love you.”

They hadn’t said those words since the night he came to her. Both waiting to declare it in their new reality because even though they had said it a thousand times before, it meant something so much more now.

It was forever.

It was the promise of an entire life together.

A life with their daughter.

A family.

Those three little words suddenly held more meaning than ever before.

Jon raised himself up on his elbow, staring down at her. He brushed a stray hair out of her face and ran his thumb over her cheek. He leaned down and kissed her softly.

“Baby, I think I was born loving you.”

\--- 2 months later ---

Sansa smiled as she stirred the spaghetti sauce simmering on the stove, looking over at Jon and Lyanna at the table. Jon helping Lyanna with her homework, which was arguably just coloring a picture of her family.

Jon and Sansa had fallen into an easy rhythm. They spent frequent nights together, Jon joined the girls for dinner or popping in after school for ice cream. On weekends when Lyanna was with Harry, Jon and Sansa would spend the weekend together, and when Lyanna was with her they would do something with Jon as well – with Sansa still maintaining ‘girl time’ for just the two of them.

After talking with both Jon and Harry, they had told Lyanna that they were ‘dating’, which delighted her although she had no real concept of what it meant. To her it meant Jon would be around more and Sansa and Jon would, as she put it, ‘hold hands and stuff.’ To Sansa, it meant being able to really start integrating Jon into their little family, but it made her happy that Lyanna hadn’t been concerned about Jon’s growing presence.

Harry, Jon and Sansa had met to discuss telling Lyanna who Jon really was. Their connection had been so strong from the start and was only getting stronger, it didn’t feel right keeping it from her any longer.

Harry was nervous, Sansa knew it was because he feared she wouldn’t want to see him or wouldn’t share that bond with him anymore, but Sansa had assured him that wouldn’t be the case. Even though Jon and Lyanna had grown closer, Lyanna still talked about Harry constantly and happily went to spend days or weekends with him whenever they could.

She loved him.

Still, figuring out how and when to tell her that Jon was her Daddy was delicate and had to be done at the right time. She just wasn’t sure when that was. Sure, she was a smart, levelheaded kid but she was still only almost 6 and Sansa didn’t want to confuse her any more than she may already be. She knew they would figure it out eventually, when the time was right.

Sansa moved around to the table and peered over Jon’s shoulder, squeezing his shoulder. He smiled up at her and she gave him a quick kiss before ruffling Lyanna’s hair.

“What are you coloring, baby?”

Lyanna looked up at her, Sansa could see two stick figures. One tall figure with long red hair that Sansa assumed was her, and one short figure with crazy black hair that Sansa knew was Lyanna’s signature drawing for herself.

“I have to draw my family, Mama. See that’s you, and that’s me!”

Lyanna paused, before quickly drawing the body, arms and legs of a third and fourth person. Sansa cocked her head to the side.

“Who are they?” pointing to the additional drawings.

“That’s Harry,” she said as she pointed to the figure next to her and then to the figure next to Sansa, “and that’s Jon.”

Sansa smiled, she surely was something else. Sansa wondered if maybe tonight after dinner would be the right time to talk to her about it and made a mental note to discuss it with Jon when they had a kid free moment.

“Jon, are my daddy?”

Jon, who had just taken a sip of his coffee, nearly choked and Sansa looked at him in shock. Sansa smiled and Jon shrugged. There really wasn’t anything they could do at this point but tell her the truth, lying obviously wasn’t an option. Still, Sansa was curious as to just how she came to that conclusion.

Sansa crouched down beside Lyanna.

“Yes, Lyanna. We’re sorry we didn’t tell you before, but we had some things to talk about.” Lyanna just nodded, looking completely unfazed by the revelation as she finished her picture.

Jon cleared his throat, “is that, are you okay with that?”

Lyanna looked up at him and smiled,

“yup,” she said gleefully. Sansa saw Jon suppress a laugh and he shook his head.

“Baby, why did you think.. how did you know?” It felt like such a foreign question to ask, and seriously made Sansa reflect on her life choices that she even had to ask her 6-year-old such a thing, but she needed to know.

Lyanna just shrugged, “he has eyes like me!”

With that she smiled and jumped off the chair, darting upstairs towards her bedroom, leaving a stunned Jon and Sansa behind.

Jon gently tugged Sansa into his lap and kissed her shoulder.

“How did that just happen?” he laughed.

Sansa shook her head, “I have absolutely no idea.”

She gently grabbed the finished drawing and smiled at the word below Jon’s picture – **Dady**. They would work on the spelling another day. Sansa turned to Jon, whose eyes were rimmed with tears as his gaze bore into the picture, before he turned his attention back to Sansa. She learned forward, hands on either side of his cheeks, and kissed him.

“I love you,” she whispered.

The moment between them broke in an instant as soon as they heard Lyanna patter to the edge of the stairs.

“Dad! Will you come help me?”

Sansa felt Jon inhaled sharply as a peaceful smile washed over him, he gently patted her butt for her to get off.

“Our daughter calls,” he said with a kiss, quickly heading upstairs.

\--- 4 Months Later ---

Sansa couldn’t help but laugh and cringe at the scene she walked into in the kitchen, which currently consisted of Jon, Lyanna and what was eventually going to be pizza, hopefully, but was currently just a disaster on the kitchen island.

Jon spent nearly every weekend with them, and it had become customary that on Friday nights Lyanna and Jon cook dinner for Sansa. Sansa for her part tried to stay as far away from the kitchen as possible to give them their time together, but also because the mess was usually too much for her to handle.

Tonight was no exception.

Sansa just shook her head when Jon gave her his signature schoolboy grin and shrugged. He was so happy, and so was Lyanna, that Sansa didn’t care how much of a mess was made because these memories meant everything to her.

“I’m going to go upstairs and call Marge, you two try not to burn the house down.” Sansa said as she headed upstairs.

“We make no promises,” Lyanna yelled back.

Sansa heard Jon laugh as he said, “that’s my girl.”

Sansa rolled her eyes playfully and fell onto the bed before video calling Margaery. She was about 30 weeks pregnant and had just found out they were having a girl, Lyanna was of course ecstatic to have a baby _girl_ cousin.

“Sansa! Hi, my darling,” Margaery said as she answered Sansa’s call.

Sansa smiled, you could tell Margaery was pregnant now from the slight puff to her cheeks, but she was absolutely glowing.

“Hey sis!” came Robb’s voice through the phone.

“Hi!” Sansa said, “how are you feeling?”

Margaery sighed dramatically, “Like a cow! But I bought a new wardrobe because if I have to get massive, I better look good doing it!”

Sansa laughed, at 30 weeks Margaery was nowhere near as big as she was going to get, but Sansa’s wouldn’t burst that bubble for her just yet.

“She looks fantastic!” Robb shouted, again from somewhere of screen.

Sansa chuckled, “what are you guys doing?”

“Ohhh, didn’t I tell you? We’re building the baby furniture tonight!” Magarey exclaimed happily, turning the camera around to show Sansa the room. She could see Robb on the floor surrounded by what would eventually be a crib.

“Make sure you put that together properly, Robb. I don’t want my niece ending up on the floor.” Sansa jested.

Robb scowled at her and Margaery howled before turning the camera to face her again, “Honey. This is your brothers second attempt. He may be a straight shot with a gun and smart as hell but Sansa, your brother is the least handy person I have EVER met.”

“We can pay people to do this crap,” Robb exclaimed in frustration.

Sansa laughed and talked with the two of them for a while until she heard the rush of feet coming towards her, laughing as Jon tossed Lyanna on the bed and she immediately started tickling Sansa. Jon joined Lyanna, until Sansa was on her back and all but begging them to stop as she laughed.

“please, okay okay, you win.” Sansa laughed.

“Alright monkey, let’s give mom a break.” Jon said lifting Lyanna off of her and setting her by the phone to talk with her aunt and uncle.

“I hate you,” Sansa whispered to Jon, as he leaned down and gently kissed her.

“you love me, Sans.” He laughed.

She scowled at him as he and Lyanna said goodbye to Marge and Robb.

“Pizza is done, mommy!” Lyanna said as her and Jon headed back downstairs.

Sansa smiled and turned back to the phone, “I guess I should go, dinner calls.”

“Hey Sansa?” Robb said. “You look really happy.”

Sansa smiled softly at the two of them, she was unexplainably happy. It was a tough road to get to where they are now, so many people hurt in the process, but they got here in the end. The life they were building, it was unlike anything she could have imagined.

Happy was an understatement.

“I am,” she said softly.

\---

That night after they had eaten dinner and Lyanna had headed off to bed, Jon and Sansa sat down to watch a movie. Jon had his feet on the ottoman and Sansa had her head in his lap as he aimlessly ran his fingers through her hair. Sansa glanced up at him, his eyes were on the TV but she could tell his mind was elsewhere.

“Penny for your thoughts?” she asked.

Jon chuckled and looked down at her, his brows furrowed. He wasn’t angry or upset but Sansa could tell her had something serious on his mind. She sat up and pulled her legs underneath her.

“What’s up, Jon?

Jon smiled softly, “do you ever think about more?”

“More what?” Sansa asked, confused.

“More kids, do you ever think about having more?”

Truthfully Sansa had thought about it over the years, Harry had asked her the same thing, but the answer was always no. She told herself that she didn’t want another baby, she didn’t want to be pregnant again, didn’t want to give birth again, wanted to focus on Lyanna. Her brain prompting with every unconscious excuse to not want another kid.

But now? Here with Jon?

Sansa suddenly wanted as many as they would be blessed with. A whole house full of mini thems, and getting to experience it all with Jon.

Sansa laughed, almost to herself and shook her head. Reaching out to run her hand along Jon’s face.

“It was always you, even when I didn’t know it.” She nearly whispered.

Jon sat straighter, “what do you mean?”

Sansa sighed, “Over the years people would ask, do I want to get married? Do I want more kids? Eventually Harry asked to. I always said no, that I was happy with my life as it was and had no desire to be a wife or a mother to any child except Lyanna. I really thought I meant it too.”

She paused before taking a minute to really take in Jon’s face. The heavy lines from stress and worry had faded over the last few months, his stubble was a little less groomed. Being a dad, being a family man, it suited him.

“I think, even though I tried to deny it, I wanted all of it. Wife, mother to a whole hockey team of kids… but I think I only ever wanted that, if I could have it with you.”

Jon’s eyes softened as he pulled her in for a quick but searing kiss.

“Sansa”

“It was always you, Jon. Only ever you. Always you.” Sansa whispered.

Jon gently pushed her backwards and laid his body on top of her. He kissed her deep and slow, filled her every emotion he could muster and Sansa matched him.

There was something so pure about this moment, this calming realization that they never left each other. Their hearts protected them from anything that could permanently keep them from one and another.

Sansa felt Jon slowly pull down her shorts and run his finger along her seem. She was wet and ready, she wanted him.

Jon swiftly pulled himself free from his track pants and entered her in one thrust.

They made slow, passionate love that night on the couch. Jon repeating over and over his love for her, though she didn’t need to hear it because she could feel it.

In every kiss

Every moment

She knew, without a shadow of a doubt, the love Jon had for her.

\--- 5 months & 1 week ---

Jon had asked Sansa to meet him for lunch, their offices were only about 15 minutes away from each other, so they met at a sushi place in the middle.

Jon’s lease was coming up soon, in 4 weeks, and he had to decide whether he was signing on for another 6 months or if Sansa thought they were ready to take the next step. Jon knew he was ready, sure 6 months for any other couple seemed fast, but they weren’t any other couple. The had an entire lifetime behind them already, years of being together and then a break in the middle.

He had already missed enough, already lived enough without them, and he didn’t want to any longer. The weekends and nights he spent there were the days he was happiest. Putting Lyanna to sleep, falling asleep beside Sansa and waking up with both of them.

Its where he wanted to be but needed to know if Sansa was on the same page.

“Hi, Baby,” Sansa said as she found him sitting at the table, she leaned down to kiss him before sliding in across from him.

“Hey, how was work?” he asked, he had already ordered some of her usual favorites because he knew she was having a busy day.

“Good, I have some news,” she said excitedly, Jon could see the sneaky expression on her face when she knew she was going to shock him.

“Arya is engaged!” she exclaimed.

That was shocking, Arya hated the very institution of marriage, or at least she said she did, but Jon always wondered if she just said that to get a rise out of Cat.

“I guess Gendry finally wore her down. She has already refused a big wedding and apparently told Gendry she is only getting married if she can wear black.” Sansa continued; she was rambling.

Her mind was fascinating to Jon sometimes, how it could go from 0 to 100 in no time and begin this frenzied pattern of speed talking. Something about it was so beautiful, the way she could talk a mile a minute and barely take a breath.

He couldn’t stop himself before the words came tumbling out of his mouth.

“My lease is coming up and I want to move in together.”

Sansa stopped mid-sentence, eyes wide, a piece of sushi paused at her lips. She swallowed and slowly lowered the sushi to the plate.

“What?”

Jon groaned, “ah fuck, well this isn’t how I intended to bring this up.”

Sansa smiled and arched her eyebrow as if to say, _No Shit_ , she gestured for Jon to continue.

“When I chose the condo, I only signed a 6 month lease. Not because I didn’t intend on staying, but I didn’t know about the area and didn’t want to sign on for a year.” Jon swallowed, “six months is almost up, and my landlord wants to know if I’m renewing”

Sansa didn’t say anything for a while and stared down at her plate. Jon was so confused, he thought they had been on the same page and he didn’t understand why Sansa was having hesitations about this. He was nervous about having this discussion, sure, but only because it was a big step not because he had expected Sansa to say no.

That’s when he saw it, the slight curl of her lip. _You little brat,_ he thought. He took the chopstick wrapper he had been fiddling with and flung it at her.

She lifted her head smiling.

“You are such a brat!” he laughed.

Sansa laughed lightly, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t help myself.”

She reached her hand across the table, which he took immediately.

“Yes, Jon. We will talk to Lyanna about it, and I doubt Harry will care now that he has Wyn.”

It’s true, Harry and Jon had become closer, Jon would cautiously call it a friendship. Harry was happy that Sansa was happy, his relationship with Lyanna stronger than ever and he had begun dating a nurse from the hospital. They had met her, Lyanna really liked her, Harry was happy.

It was a good dynamic they had built.

“Yeah?” Jon asked.

Sansa smiled, the kind of smile that could blind someone.

Bright and happy.

“Yes, Jon. I’d love it if you moved in with us.”

\--- 6 months ---

“Mama! Mama! The van is here!”

Sansa laughed as Lyanna excitedly jumped by the front door, Jon had only left last night but from her reaction you’d think it had been weeks.

Sansa watched as Jon, Grenn and Dickon hoped out of the moving van. Sansa’s house was almost completely furnished aside from the family room in the basement, which had been Harry’s stuff. Sansa and Lyanna hadn’t needed the additional living space, so Sansa had left it empty, but Jon had since claimed it as his ‘man cave’.

Sansa watched as Jon laughed with his new friends before coming over to see them. He had met them through work, they both worked at his company and it made her happy he was creating a life for himself outside of their little family.

“Hi, babe.” He said as he came over and kissed her, then crouched down and ruffled Lyanna’s hair. “Racal” he cooed affectionately.

Dressed in tight distressed jeans and a tight black V-neck, Sansa was even more thrilled that she would have him with her every night. She blushed slightly at the thought, as Jon raised his eyebrow suggestively. Lyanna scampered off to see Dickon and Grenn and Jon pulled Sansa into him.

“Don’t worry, after today I’m all yours.” He whispered suggestively and quickly nipped at her neck. He winked before descending the porch steps to start unloading the truck.

 _Fuck yeah you are,_ thought Sansa as Harry’s truck pulled up on the street. Jon and Harry had gotten surprisingly close, bordering on the side of friendship, which made Sansa happy. There were no bitter feelings and now with Wyn in the picture she knew everyone was where they were supposed to be.

Sansa liked Wyn quite a lot, she was the perfect match for Harry. She was kind, soft spoken and she loved Lyanna.

“Harry!” Lyanna exclaimed as she bound up to him, Harry instantly picking her up and putting her on his shoulders.

“Hey nugget,” he nodded to Jon, “Thought you could use some help.”

Jon clapped Harry on the shoulder, “thanks.”

The men went on chatting as Wyn joined Sansa on the porch.

“I hope this is okay, I just thought we should come by and see if you guys needed any help with the move.”

Sansa smiled, “more than okay.”

\--- 9 months ---

Jon could barely believe how much his life had changed in just a little more than a year. A year ago, he was bitter, angry and lonely. Missing Sansa everyday with no idea he had a daughter. The life he lived was dangerous and completely unsure, everyday he took chances with his life and with the lives of others. He hurt people and when needed he killed people.

Jon watched, from the blanket him and Sansa were sharing, as Lyanna ran around the playground in front of them. They had an incredibly happy 6-year-old and he was with Sansa.

His heart.

His soulmate.

Life was near perfect, sure they had their arguments – Sansa could be pain in the ass and he could be a stubborn jerk- but they were happy, and they loved each other.

All the hurt they caused each other, the anger, the lost time. None of it mattered anymore, it hadn’t mattered for a log time, because they made it here in the end. They had an entire future to look forward to.

An entire lifetime.

For the first time Jon had a life he could be proud of, a life he never let himself dream of because it always seemed so far out of reach.

He had a job he loved, waking up every morning and going to the office was something he never thought he’d look forward to, but he loved every second of it. He got to come home every night to his girls. He played golf on Sunday’s with Dickon and Grenn. He coached Lyanna’s soccer team during the week and learned to braid her hair.

One day he would ask Sansa to marry him.

Life was good, and at that moment as he gazed down at Sansa who was laying with her head in his lap, Jon didn’t think anything could make their life more perfect.

Little did he know just how wrong he was.

“Jon?” Sansa asked, she peered up at him with a soft smile on her face. She looked blissfully content.

“yeah?” Jon asked, as he gently massaged her head.

“I love you, you know” she grinned at him and he didn’t think it was possible to love her more.

Jon cocked his head the side, “I love you too, Sansa.”

She bit her lower lip and looked away at Lyanna briefly before glancing back at him. He chuckled, that was always her tell - when she wanted to tell him something.

“What is it, Sansa?”

“I’m pregnant.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> anddd that's a wrap!  
> Wow, this has been a ride for my first fic, but I am so proud of the story that came from it! As you can see this is now part of a series, I have a bunch of one shot ideas for when I feel like popping back into this little family! So stay tuned :)
> 
> I would LOVE to hear your thoughts, if you've been with me since the beginning, if you haven't commented before, I would love to hear from you and I hope I did these characters the justice they deserve. Personally, I think we needed a little happy ever after, they've been through enough! 
> 
> Thanks YOU readers  
> xo
> 
> Ps. Anyone interested this fic was 100% inspired by the song Beautifully Unfinished by Ella Henderson, you should take a listen!

**Author's Note:**

> comments? I would love to hear your thoughts!


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